Hello all. Just to preface this by saying I genuinely don't know whether I'm being unreasonable about this - I could well be! I am looking for advice.
The problem is with my DH's parents. My DH is 41, I am 36. We both have responsible jobs and work long hours, and we would never dream of asking our in laws or anyone else for help of any kind (practical or financial). We are doing just fine under our own steam and I am proud of the fact that we are completely self-made. Yet they act like DH and I are teenagers in constant need of the most patronising help and advice. I know that their behaviour is well meant, but I feel belittled and put down by them on a near-constant basis.
I feel like that have no interest in me personally. They never listen to a word I say - evidenced by the fact that they repeatedly ask me the same questions about my preferences, background etc. For example, they keep asking us if we will move to the country, despite my repeated insistence that I dislike living outside of cities (I've even made a joke of this, and they still ask every time they see us). In some cases, I feel like they act like I don't exist. My DH recently went away on business, and they insisted on having all his flight and travel details: to me, this is my role as his wife, not their role as parents.
I also feel patronised by their comments. Last time they were here, I had cooked and frozen a dinner, and it took very slightly longer to defrost than I expected. When I put it on the table, my MIL said (literally in the kind of tone you'd use towards a toddler) 'Now what lesson have you learnt? Next time you do this meal, what will you do?' I honestly didn't know where to put myself. I couldn't even answer, so she said (with big pauses between each word, like she was talking to someone deaf) 'Freeze - it - in - smaller - portions'. Again, a minor thing, and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid if it didn't happen constantly with every little thing.
I have tried to raise this with my DH as it upsets me, but he is a real people-pleaser and just tries to keep everyone happy. I would very much like to be treated like a grown up by my in laws, but they are incredibly passive-aggressive, so I know that any direct approach would cause ruptions.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I just shut up and get on with it? Advice greatly appreciated.
For example, DH is currently overseas on business and his parents asked him for his flight details so they could track him.