WIBU to encourage the dog to sleep in ds2's room (4yo)?

[lecce]

Dog is 5 month old puppy and we have had her for about 7 weeks. She is a lurcher GS and an absolute softy though, like all puppies, she can be nippy and scratchy in play. She and ds2 adore each other.

Dh and I have had endless problems this year and our relationship is shaky, to say the least. Partly this is because of his health issues. He has MS, the symptoms of which have worsened this year, and has always been prone to allergies. He always takes the once a day stuff but, in the 11 years I have known him, barely a day goes by without him sniffling over something. We had our previous dog for 10 years and he caused dh no problems. We also had a long-haired cat for 9 years and, though he caused dh to scratch if he went near his pillow, it was nothing dramatic.

This dog is the same type as our previous. Up until last Saturday there were no issues. Then dh started this awful wheezing. It sounds dreadful and is far worse than any other reaction I have known him to have. He says it must be the dog and, having googled it, I see it is not impossible for people to develop reactions to pets they have previously been ok with.

Dog sleeps in our room (I know, I know) and we have agreed this needs to stop. Last night she howled and scratched for an hour, with dh getting increasingly irate, though I was prepared to see it through. He finally snapped, "Just bring her up!" so I went and slept on the sofa with her - clearly not a long-term solution. Dh has offered to sleep in the attic but this is either not a long-term solution or will be and will bring the end of our relationship, imo.

To make it all worse, and part of the reason for the strain on us, ds2 has only just started sleeping through after 4 years of partial co-sleeping, causing me endless disturbed nights. Now, just as he sorts it, this starts, and it feels like the final straw.

In these circumstances, would IBU to place the dog's bed in ds2's room (she is clean and quiet in our room).

Btw, dh is going to see his dr next week and we are researching air-purifiers. I know if he says he wants rid of the dog, I will have to agree , but he says no at this stage.

In case it helps OP: animal.discovery.com/pets/healthy-pets/pet-dander-shampoos.htm

Bathing should help reduce a little, for him he could take local honey or manukka once a day and that may also help him. A very good hoover as well to take up dander will help and wiping down surfaces (like leather sofas) your puppy may lick.

I know we managed to get around the dog sleeping thing with family's pets by giving the pup their own basket with a blanket in it that smelt of their owners and just being ruthlessly firm. Or have the pup in the corner of your own room in it's own basket, rather then downstairs or on the bed.

Also be sure to 60 deg the bed linen if you can.

Those who say crate training is cruel has probably not crate trained properly. My dog sleeps in his crate; he has a big cushion, lots of blankets and a big sheet over it so he knows it's night time. If we stay up too late or he's fed up of the general noise of family life, he goes in there to relax.

Thanks for all the replies.

Needawee Sorry, had to respond - did you read my OP? You know, the one where I describe how dh lived with a similar breed of a dog and a long-haired cat for 10 years with no problems. He lived with this dog for 6 weeks with no problems. Ffs.

Wheresmy I agree. I have been involved in rescue work and have rescue pets of my own too. The rescue situation is heartbreaking. Hundreds of animals are euthanised because stupid people take on a pet with no forethought, planning or research then abandon it like a piece of rubbish. The disregard for animals' needs by some people is shameful and truly disgusting. 'Just get rid', it's a member of the family FFS.

coco27 Have you bothered to read the thread? The OP's partner does not want to rehome the dog. The OP has also mentioned what a support having the dog is for her, especially as she cares for her OH. How insensitive of you.

lecce I hope you're able to find a resolution for your family.

no, don't do it - simply for the reason that the dog will disturb your DDs night sleep.

My dog sleeps in my bed and i do get a bit snuffly but its managable, really though, he will be better sleeping downstairs.

Thanks Tiptops and Everlong. Dh has started a new, more rigorous cleaning regime today (he does 80% when well) and has just bought a purifier! Dog will be in kitchen tonight and we will stand firm.

its not unusual for folk to develop allergies when you get older, or for allergies to worsen. My DP is allergic to cats, sometimes he only has to go into the house where cats live and it irritates him, other cats he could have sitting on his lap and they don't affect him.

My old boss also developed an allergy to pet hair in his forties, which was a tad awkward - he is a vet

Something else thats occurred to me this evening. I've just come home to find our ageing westie is not well. (it would seem DH has fed him a lump of chicken tikka last night from his dominoes pizza but throttling DH is for another thread), anyway I digress.

Poor Bob has had really bad diarrhoea all over the kitchen. He's 13 now and on the odd occasion things like this have happened, it's happened to many dog owners I presume and occasionally it happens overnight.

I know its very much a what if scenario, but having spent the last hour mopping and disinfecting my tiled kitchen floor I can only begin to imagine how that would have gone down in a small childs carpeted bedroom at 4am.

you'll have a few sleeples nights lecce, but do stand firm, he'll soon learn.

Good luck tonight! If the dog does whine etc buying some ear plugs tomorrow might help

Ear plugs for you and DH, not the dog!

Good luck x you can do this :)

I hope that you can make it work and that your puppy will soon settle into a new routine of sleeping downstairs. I am a bit surprised about how some people have reacted on this thread when you just came here to ask for some advice!

Unfortunately, I fully understand what it is like to have a DH with MS as I am in the same situation. I expect that the puppy is very welcome distraction. It is very hard to live with the uncertainty of MS, the varying symptoms and the horrible side effects of the disease modifying drugs.

Wishing you luck and I hope that the dog did not keep you awake through the early hours!!

if you want the dog to sleep in the bedroom could you leave the door opened so the dog can pad back and forward in the hallway and maybe go into the bedroom , our compromise with whingey dog was a bed right outside the bedroom doors he humphs about it but we dont want him in the bedroom,

oh read on how did the dog sleep,

I am a firm believer that dogs shouldn't be in bedrooms. In fact ours doesn't even go upstairs.

It will take a bit of training, can you use a stairgate across your door and keep your door open so dog can see you and sleep on the landing? I saw this on 'its me or the dog' on TV. Also get a dedicated bed for the dog as well so they have a set place where can sleep at night. Its all about developing a routine. May take a few nights of training so be prepared.

Our DDog kips on our bed but will wander off & kip elsewhere if he feels like it. Couldn't imagine him doing anything else.

I think it'd be a fantastic way for the Dog & DS to bond personally.

You may have to rehome DH though.....

I wouldn't have a dog in the bedroom...

Crate train him to start with... It also helps with toilet training and if used properly becomes the dogs safe den where he can go to get away from thing... You must never use it as a punishment though....

Fill half of it with blankets, an old tshirt that you can wear for a few hours before bed time so it smells of you, toys so he realises it is a nice thing not a bad thing.... Show him it during the day first getting him going in and out on his own so treats help with that part... Some people leave a tv or radio on low for pups to help them feel better... If you can a pet heatpad could be a good option and put the above mentioned top over the heat pad so it smells like you and is warm like you...

If your not going to crate train the same advice can be used create a bed area and fill it wih things he loves and get him used to being in that area alone

We have gsd's, we did at one time have a border collie only thing now known that I'm allergic too... We did rehome as I couldn't go anywhere in my own house without being set off even though the dog was confined to one room and the garden, it was not fair on myself or the dog

Quick update. In the end, we did what a few posters have suggested and let the dog sleep on the landing in her bed. Dc's rooms were shut and ours had a makeshift barricade at first ( we have no stairgate) and was closed off completely later when dog was asleep. I was awoken at 7am, pretty much on the dot, by a polite scratching on our door - she had been clean and dry all night (usual for her anyway). So, very successful - dh was much less wheezy yesterday after two (for him) dog-free nights. Thanks again for all the advice.

chocolatelime It really is a shit of a disease, isn't it? Dh has had it for 10 years but it's been mild until this year. He is about to start on drugs for the first time so I am to hear your description of the side-effects. Hope things are not too bad with you now.

So glad it went well! Here's to many more happy nights with your puppy!

What great news that the dog is adjusting so well and your DH is feeling better already. Hopefully as time goes on he will become more accustomed to the dog and his sensitivity will decrease.

MS is a horrible disease & diagnosis came totally out the blue for us. I think that the effects of the drugs vary hugely between individuals & some are lucky to not experience any issues at all. My DH injects Rebif and has flu like symptoms for a few hours which can be quite severe. He will then have bad headaches the following day. But we have to weigh up the consequences of not taking the drugs & overall we have decided that the risk is too great to not persevere.

There is a list of new drugs that are awaiting licensing and they are getting closer every year to a cure so we try to remain as positive as possible.