WIBU to encourage the dog to sleep in ds2's room (4yo)?

[lecce]

Dog is 5 month old puppy and we have had her for about 7 weeks. She is a lurcher GS and an absolute softy though, like all puppies, she can be nippy and scratchy in play. She and ds2 adore each other.

Dh and I have had endless problems this year and our relationship is shaky, to say the least. Partly this is because of his health issues. He has MS, the symptoms of which have worsened this year, and has always been prone to allergies. He always takes the once a day stuff but, in the 11 years I have known him, barely a day goes by without him sniffling over something. We had our previous dog for 10 years and he caused dh no problems. We also had a long-haired cat for 9 years and, though he caused dh to scratch if he went near his pillow, it was nothing dramatic.

This dog is the same type as our previous. Up until last Saturday there were no issues. Then dh started this awful wheezing. It sounds dreadful and is far worse than any other reaction I have known him to have. He says it must be the dog and, having googled it, I see it is not impossible for people to develop reactions to pets they have previously been ok with.

Dog sleeps in our room (I know, I know) and we have agreed this needs to stop. Last night she howled and scratched for an hour, with dh getting increasingly irate, though I was prepared to see it through. He finally snapped, "Just bring her up!" so I went and slept on the sofa with her - clearly not a long-term solution. Dh has offered to sleep in the attic but this is either not a long-term solution or will be and will bring the end of our relationship, imo.

To make it all worse, and part of the reason for the strain on us, ds2 has only just started sleeping through after 4 years of partial co-sleeping, causing me endless disturbed nights. Now, just as he sorts it, this starts, and it feels like the final straw.

In these circumstances, would IBU to place the dog's bed in ds2's room (she is clean and quiet in our room).

Btw, dh is going to see his dr next week and we are researching air-purifiers. I know if he says he wants rid of the dog, I will have to agree , but he says no at this stage.

That's a no then .

I knew 4 was too young, really. I need to read up on crate training, I guess. landrover, I have had dogs before but being quiet at night wasn't an issue as they slept with us . And I have said that she is clean at night (AND 95% BY DAY). Sorry about caps.

All those who have said get rid - dh has said he wants to look into other solutions. Google reveals loads of people who have developed allergies to their pets and found ways to keep them - it's not unheard of.

InternationalPower You have no idea what you would do if your husband was as sick as mine until you are unfortunate enough for it to happen (and I hope it doesn't). I have kept dogs all my life and they are a huge support to me, especially when dh is ill and I would otherwise be alone downstairs when the dc are in bed. However, I am well aware that it may become impossible for us to keep this dog but we are trying everything before it comes to that. Note I said 'we' - this is a joint decision.

I love dogs and no problem with them in bedrooms but I don't think a 4 year old and a puppy should be alone together.

Train the dog to sleep downstairs. Yes, you'll have done disturbed nights initially but it's the best long term solution.

We used to cover Shockerdog's crate with a big blanket at bedtime... bit like a budgie.

Lecce- it's a big decision to rehome a dog, and not one to be taken lightly. I sympathise with your situation and it's good and responsible that you're exploring all the options before making that final decision. It's not that easy to just 'get rid'.

Had a friend who did this. Dog ended up getting very territorial over the kid's room (and the kid) and ended up biting the mother when she went to try and clean room. Dog was put down

[Hmm] At all who have said to get rid. No wonder there is a crisis of abandoned animals in this country.

OP I have no idea why your DH's allergy has flared up but I do know in time most people with allergies develop a resistance to their own pets. It's surprising how many people have allergies and pets. There are medication options your DH could discuss with the Dr too. I have bad hayfever and my Dr allows me to take the 'one a day' tablets twice a day. My father found the one a day useless so he has been prescribed a stronger tablet and advised there are even stronger ones if those don't help. May be worth looking into these if only short term while he adjusts.

Agree with boo about crate training. It is fabulous. I have used it with 6 puppies and would highly recommend.

tip the crisis exists because people don't think things through. If they did many would realise that they didn't have the time money or energy to put in the work needed. Of they take them on at the worst possible times.

No one can foresee illness or job loss resulting in being unable to properly care for their pet. But a bit of research into a breed or owning a puppy can help prepare you for the chaos that lies ahead and people really need to think about that before taking on a dog. Particularly a puppy.

Re-homing is merely suggested when its apparent the animal can't have his needs met and its believed that its best for the animal.

Not saying that's the case here. But the DHs ill health sadly dies have to be taken into consideration too. I hope they find the solution I really do.

I def don't thunk you should get rid, especially as your dh doesn't want this either.
I also have a rabbit that im allergic too. Still have him, he was abandoned so I'm not going to do the same.
Could you leave him in living room or kitchen at night so hes got room to move?
Think when dog isn't a puppy you could let him seep with your ds.
Think its really good you're keeping the dog btw

Btw if i became allergic to any animal i had taken i would still keep them. They would have become part of the family. There are too many unwanted animals.

I like dogs, I care not if people sleep with them, I can't see a massive issue with putting a dog to bed in a sleeping 4 year old's bedroom...

Except, when they wake up you've got an awake 4 yr old and a puppy alone together, that's the bit that's a problem.

I agree there are far to many unwanted animals. I don't think that's down to individual cases where due to unforeseen circumstances the dog has to go. I know that kills people. And must would have tried everything else first in order to not to have to.

I think it's down to people being idiots and wanting all the glory and attention a dog/puppy brings and can't be added with the cost and effort of looking after them properly.

[Hmm] At all who have said to get rid. No wonder there is a crisis of abandoned animals in this country

..and no wonder the divorce rateis so high when people can't prioritise their partners health above an animal!!!

Btw if i became allergic to any animal i had taken i would still keep them

I think you would probably think a lot differently if you lived with an allergy. I have a latex allergy & have just had to ban balloons from then house. I was OK with them for many years as long as dc didn't play with them around me. But we had some for a party recently & I had to take an antihistamine & they were only hanging up!

It is miserable living with an allergy.

I have no objection to dogs sleeping where they sleep, but I am sorry op, if it was a matter of health, it would have to go :( Allergies worsen, so his symptoms may continue to do so until he is really suffering.

When you start off creating bad habits such as sleeping in bedrooms, it makes the dog harder to re-home or be minded, if you need to go away for any reason and given that your DH has health problems, it is vital that any pets are put into a sustainable routine.

I have always had GS's, i have large walk in kennels, my present dog sleeps in the kitchen, but i use the kennel when i am at work, or if anyone nervous of dogs, young children etc visit.

I did this conscious that as a LP, i don't want any sort of crisis to mean that my dog has to be got rid of.

Dogs should be able to cope with sleeping alone and being alone for time periods (with some exceptions, some breeds etc). You are creating a neurosis and dogs are not any happier if they become over dependent, they live for around 15 years and life changes for any family.

Coco27 I think that is one of the most crass and ill-thought-out comments I have read, given that I have said that dh does not wish to rehome the pet at this time and that I will do so if all else fails. I am seriously worried for my marriage for other reasons, and could have done without seeing that.

Birdsgottafly I really don't think I am creating a neurosis. All dogs I have lived with have slept with us and and been very laid-back, able to be left alone etc. The same is true of my parents' dogs and many, many others I have known.

While it sems clear in my situation that sleeping downstairs is the way forward, I don't think it fair to create the impression that any dog allowed to sleep upstairs is likely to turn into a nuerotic dog.

But if a crisis strikes and you cannot house the dog any longer, or have them sleeping upstairs, then you have created a situation where the dog is even more difficult to re-home and has to be PTS.

Every dog is capable of sleeping downstairs, if left to do so, they are not happier or closer because they are allowed free reign around the house, if they know no different.

I wouldn't condem anyone who has to re-home a dog because of a real issue and an allergy is an issue, as is worsening ill health, for example.

You used the word "encourage" and said that you were having disturbed nights, so there is already a problem, which the dog should be trained out of. The dog "howled and scratched" for an hour, so it was distressed all of that time and probably afterwards. Not every dog can adapt to a changing routine.

I have found that all of my GS's (i foster as well) enjoy consistency, i don't know if that a breed thing, or just the dogs that i have known.

Obviously this dog is not laid back, as yet and GS's can take up till two to settle down.

I've had GSDs all my life as well and they have all slept on the bed with no problems, well other than having to buy a really big bed! As for consistency when we are on holiday our house-sitter has the choice of sleeping in our bed with the dogs or in the spare room by herself/himself (17 years now no house-sitter has opted for the second option).

As said earlier im allergic to rabbit fur and also to my hedgehog but i would rather put up with the effects than get rid of them. Thats not a dig at other people just my view, they're part of the family now.

Boo i would have chosen to share with your dogs too!

MuttDog is nearly 3. She has slept with us or DD for as long as we have had her. She toilet trained really quickly and easily because I am a light sleeper and could always respond to her. She's never had an issue sleeping with DD, she's never caused any problems and DD had just turned 5 when we got her. DD actually sleeps better when the Mutt is with her, they cuddle most of the night.

I don't see what the problem is OP, you could investigate crate training if you are worried about the DC. But if your DH can cope, if you are willing to be very hot on the cleaning, and if it makes you all happy, why not?

(But please look properly into crate training, done badly it makes things a lot worse for the dog)

Have a DP with sever allergies to all our family pets. This also affects his atopic ecxema to the extent that he can be bleeding from every point on his body except soles of feet and the palms of his hands. That doesn't mean to say that my Ds will grow up without his rats or horses. It means my DH has to take his Dr prescribed antihistamens and treat his skin correctly.
I have also just taken on a gorgeous rescue dog and of course that has caused his problems to get worse but as he gets used to the dog we know it will get better.
On the sleeping arrangements my 2 dogs were allowed with my newborn from day one supervised and by the time he was 4 they were sleeping in the same room happily. Puppy couldn't make it onto the beds so there was no issue of getting scratched.
Sorry for the spelling

Don't do the crate :( we did for a while but I think it's cruel and we stopped as our dog had an upset stomach then had to sleep in its mess until we woke up and noticed. The guilt. Besides a dog waking up in the night and shuffling about? Disturbed little boy wont ever sleep properly. Just train it to sleep downstairs. There must be advise online about it.

My dog sleeps ok downstairs by herself but howls or barks if the doors are closed, she just liked to know where we were. Seems a bit daft to get another animal tho when you know he has such problems