Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have we been offensive...?

73 replies

babysaurus · 31/08/2013 21:16

My DH has / had become quite good mates with one of our neighbours. They have two kids, we don't know her as well but he is the kind of person you bump into outside and find yourself talking to for nearly an hour.

DH and he have been going out for early morning dog walks. These have generally been great, lots to talk about etc, apart from our neighbour tends to go on and on (sometimes three quarters of the walk) about how either DH is old and calling him grandad etcetera, or about DS being ginger. (For the record, DH at 43 is three years older than neighbour and DS has blond hair, not that either of us would give a shit if it was ginger.) This constant 'banter' is quite irritating but DH couldn't change the subject or tell him to give it a rest without neighbour then going on and ON about how it was true /don't try and deny it and so on. Apart from this he's an alright bl

OP posts:
BrokenSunglasses · 31/08/2013 21:32

I don't honk you said anything offensive, but some people can find offence in almost anything. They do it on here all the time!

Ime, the people who are the quickest to take offence are also the quickest to dish it out, your neighbour sounds like one of those people.

I'd just continue to behave as you normally would around him. If he doesn't want to talk o you anymore, he'll get his message across, and you won't have to worry about the manchild twat anymore.

RoastedCouchPotatoes · 31/08/2013 21:32

Yep, he's a twat. YANBU!

pianodoodle · 31/08/2013 21:32

I wonder if his wife considers herself as lucky as he does? Grin

Marshy · 31/08/2013 21:33

well, you did tell him in the text that he was being irritating but he was, so definitely NBU in my opinion.
Some people just need to know when to pipe down, and he is one of those people by the sound of it.

pianodoodle · 31/08/2013 21:34

Could be you don't see her as much because if he's out talking to the neighbours it means he isn't inside talking to her!

ivykaty44 · 31/08/2013 21:34

your dh was not offensive

the neighbour knew what the text meant and knew he should give being a twat a rest

He has decided to continue in his childish manner - so really just either ignore

or if you are glutton for punishment stick to saying hello and being ignored for a while and them then talking to you again and it all starting over

sophiedaal · 31/08/2013 21:35

I'm getting a very strong mental image of Colin the OfficeCrazyFunster from The Fast Show.

maddening · 31/08/2013 21:35

Lucky escape - don't encourage contact and remain free of the tedium

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 31/08/2013 21:35

Your DH wasn't offensive at all - this guy is a twat, be grateful this is all it took to get rid of him!

ivykaty44 · 31/08/2013 21:36

oh and his side of the story will be

they can't take a joke you know them babysarus, they don't know how to take a joke about themselves

the fat the kjoke has worn thin 100 years ago is beside the point

therumoursaretrue · 31/08/2013 21:40

Neighbour sounds like a dick and seems the type who likes to dish out 'banter' but can't take it back.

Yanbu!

Original poster
babysaurus · 31/08/2013 21:43

Hmmm. Thanks all. I suppose I realised this but, as I said before, apart from the supposed piss taking he's good company. He and DH had got into the habit of two hour walks every Saturday morning at 7am (we have a dog) and got on really well otherwise.
The ginger / age stuff was just stupid though, inane bill locks.
Oh, whoever brought it up, he works from home 4 days a week and is always off doing stuff with his kids when he can. It's almost like he thought DHs text was criticising his parenting or something, even though that would be quite weird considering all it said.

OP posts:
Original poster
babysaurus · 31/08/2013 21:45

Maybe he's embarrassed so defensive?
Maybe he's just far more childish and ridiculous than we initially thought.
C'est la vie!

OP posts:
InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 31/08/2013 21:50

Maybe he just misunderstood the text- maybe he thought your DH was saying 'you're spending too much of your time with your children- give it a rest!' Ie stop spending so much time with your kids. Might explain why he's got the hump? Sounds a twat tho

Groovee · 31/08/2013 21:50

He sounds like an eejit!

Coconutty · 31/08/2013 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Waffling · 31/08/2013 21:58

Why do you refer to your husband as "we"?!

Seaweedy · 31/08/2013 22:02

God, I recognise this type of man. Their idea of a conversation is one or two endlessly reiterated 'jokes' at someone else's expense. They genuinely believe everyone thinks of them as a 'good bloke' and a wit, and this one is pissed off because someone does not find him amusing.

Personally, I would see if I could train my dog to jump on his windpipe every time he starts his 'ribbing'.

Original poster
babysaurus · 31/08/2013 22:11

Waffling, probably because really this is between him and the neighbour rather than both of us, but as I am the one posting and not him i am making it more of a 'we' rather than 'he' situation.
I suppose.
I don't normally!

OP posts:
StephenFrySaidSo · 31/08/2013 22:20

oh god he sounds like my cousin who is a complete arsehole and thinks he sounds ever so clever when he replies to people the way your neighbour has. i cringe when he does it on FB- I've actually hidden him. it's not my cousin though as he doesn't have a 4 and 2 year old.

give him the swerve is my advice.

Marshy · 31/08/2013 22:31

'give him the swerve'- I love that! Can think of a few people I need to do that with Grin

alemci · 31/08/2013 22:38

he sounds like he has become over familiar towards your dh. it is ok for him to be rude to your dh but if dh is flippant then neighbour gets the hump. very attention seeking chap, avoid for a while unless dh wants to hang out with him

NapaCab · 31/08/2013 22:51

Sounds like he misunderstood your DH's text as a dig at him for working from home. It's easier to take offense at a text message than a light-hearted face-to-face comment.

In general though he sounds like an eejit alright so I don't think your DH has lost the friendship of a lifetime. As a proud redhead, the "ginger" comments alone would have had me avoiding him like the plague. It is such childish nonsense.

SomethingOnce · 31/08/2013 23:07

I had a neighbour who was (and remains and shall ever be) a knob of the highest order.

Sometimes he was ok, even entertaining.

But the knobbishness always triumphed in the end.

Rejoice that you are not speaking and keep it that way!

bababababoom · 01/09/2013 00:02

w**ker.