Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Everybody loves my friend's daughter - aargh!

90 replies

BoundandRebound · 31/08/2013 10:23

According to my friend, every conversation about what her 8 year old is doing from music lessons to drama to school to walking into a restaurant involves the phrase "they absolutely love- adore x in there"

It's nice

But wearing

My child of course is just background noise

OP posts:
mrsjay · 31/08/2013 10:27

och people like to think their children are adorable your friend is one of them just let her ramble on or look bored that seems to work fine glaze over or change the subject .

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly · 31/08/2013 10:30

Yabu

KirjavaTheCat · 31/08/2013 10:34

Well... Maybe they do?

I'd take it for what it is tbh, a mother gushing about her daughter, and nod and smile.

Original poster
BoundandRebound · 31/08/2013 10:36

I do

But I'm bored with it

Bored - bored - bored with how amazing and adorable your child is

Adults discussing quality of food in restaurant over drinks. Oh yes we went there last week, they love x in there

OP posts:
Jinsei · 31/08/2013 10:36

Are you jealous?

Some kids are very charismatic, and do get a great reception wherever they go. Yes, you don't want to listen to the mum banging on about it all the time, but it's hardly the crime of the century, is it?

YABU

mrsjay · 31/08/2013 10:44

sounds like she is just obsessed about how adorable her little girl is people can be weird like that and become so wrapped up in their children, I find it bemusing personally where every other conversation turns round to the children

SomethingOnce · 31/08/2013 10:45

I'm not envious of this woman, nor of any other parent like her. It is tedious.

'Are you envious?' seems to be the stock reply to any questioning of boastful or smug behaviour these days which, in itself, is pretty tedious.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 31/08/2013 10:47

People love my DD1 everywhere she goes.

Granted, I don't go around shouting about it, but its not something I can change.

Jinsei · 31/08/2013 10:48

So sorry to be tedious something Wink. I just struggle to understand why anyone would allow themselves to get so irritated by such trivial stuff.

TheBleedinObvious · 31/08/2013 10:50

I think it is nice. She is proud of her daughter. And it is probably true, or at least she believes it to be true.

Maybe you could do the same.

Original poster
BoundandRebound · 31/08/2013 10:51

Im not overly irritated, I've been nodding and smiling for 5 years now.

Why would I be jealous of someone being that gauche?

OP posts:
Original poster
BoundandRebound · 31/08/2013 10:52

Oh god I'm far too British to do the same

OP posts:
colette · 31/08/2013 10:52

yanbu - it makes for very boring conversation
. I suppose how boring depends on how long you are with your friend. Also it is just a bit unrealistic - what 'everyone' loves her - lot to live up .

Trills · 31/08/2013 10:54

Interrupt her next time.

You: We went to ASDF last week
Her: Oh yes I now that place-
You (interrupting): Let me guess they love your DD in there?
Her: Do I say that a lot? Sorry, I'll try not to be such a stuck record.

Jinsei · 31/08/2013 10:54

Well, I don't know, but why would you post about it if it wasn't irritating you?

She is overwhelmed by how amazing her dd is, and can't shut up about it. The only appropriate response is to smile and ignore!

MamaTo3Boys · 31/08/2013 10:55

Aww at least she's proud of her daughter. Much better than the opposite.

I know people that just constantly moan and grumble about their kids, even when they're just doing normal kid stuff. I wish they'd cut them some slack and just let them be kids without moaning about it every 2 seconds.

Although I suppose having the same conversation with someone over and over again can be quite boring

LondonMother · 31/08/2013 10:55

You can be proud of your children and let them know it without constantly bombarding other people with tales of how wonderful your children are. It's not necessary and it's not particularly tactful or sensitive if the other people have children and you're not making the effort to say nice things about them too. Nod and smile is about the most I could manage in the circumstances, OP. I'd be very, very irritated underneath.

littlemog · 31/08/2013 11:01

Why would I be jealous of someone being that gauche?

Well this is a pretty spiky comment to make about someone who is proud of their daughter. Some children are just really charismatic and people do warm to them and I would be really proud too if my daughter was so loved by other people. You do sound a bit envious of the situation but just let it go.

Change the subject if you want to or lose the friendship - not sure what you are hoping to achieve through posting spiteful comments on here.

SomethingOnce · 31/08/2013 11:01

It gets wearing because it doesn't really add anything to the listener's life or even invite dialogue on any level. I mean, what can you even say, beyond murmuring 'Aaah, that's nice' every time?

This is why I choose not to impose on others and keep DD's fabulousness to myself Grin

Mumsyblouse · 31/08/2013 11:10

I think this form of boasting is terribly tedious to listen to. There's a big difference between being proud of your child because they have done a specific thing (e.g. are competing in a top competition, had a great report, did a sweet thing) and sharing this, and constantly going on about how popular/liked your child is, it's just embarrassing for the child.

I also think it's unlikely to be true, sometimes people tell me their children are very talented/popular/everyone at a certain place loves them, and when I meet the child they just seems like a normal child. It's unlikely that every single place they go, they are singled out for being especially better than any other child.

A bit of this is fine, constant boasting about the popularity of your children is crass and bad for the children. And, as somethingonce says, what can you say other than 'how nice'?

The real issue is your friend is not interested in your children at all, and just in an audience for her extra special child and that's not a very nice trait in a friend!

mrsjay · 31/08/2013 11:30

I now have images of this little girl skipping into somehwere and EVERYBODY stopping in their tracks to turn and admire her awesomeness Grin

AgentZigzag · 31/08/2013 11:30

I just hear her saying 'People love me much more than they do you'.

It's insecurity.

She sees how people react to her DD as a reflection on the type of person/parent she is, that they're complimenting her, and she wants you to be very aware of this.

mrsjay · 31/08/2013 11:31

and what mumsy said your friend isn't that interested in anybody other than their child

and she is being unfair on her wee girl she is going to start believing the awesomeness and become deluded as she grows up with false confidence and appear on xfactor

nennypops · 31/08/2013 11:40

I can see it's incredibly boring. What I wonder is, if this has been going on for 5 years, why do you keep seeing her?

Cerisier · 31/08/2013 11:41

YANBU. How tedious. I am amazed you have put up with it for 5 years.

I feel sorry for the daughter, the risk is that she will either feel smothered or turn into a spoilt brat.