Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Everybody loves my friend's daughter - aargh!

90 replies

BoundandRebound · 31/08/2013 10:23

According to my friend, every conversation about what her 8 year old is doing from music lessons to drama to school to walking into a restaurant involves the phrase "they absolutely love- adore x in there"

It's nice

But wearing

My child of course is just background noise

OP posts:

carabos · 31/08/2013 11:42

Is this little girl the new Samantha Brick?

mrsjay · 31/08/2013 11:43

bless her she might be carabos

aladdinsane · 31/08/2013 11:47

I work with a 40 year old whos mother is still the same with her
Her life has been a string of disastrous relationships with her complaining all the time and feeling very unfulfilled- she is demanding of others and high maintenance, she cant understand why everyone doesnt find her: amazing, fantastic, gorgeous, funny, witty etc
she is not able to be just one of the crowd and 'performs' all the time

ViviDeBeauvoir · 31/08/2013 11:59

I understand that it probably is tedious but maybe it is true. Of course that doesn't mean she needs to mention it at every opportunity so maybe she's insecure.

DD is the sort of child who could charm the birds from the trees (she can be a little monkey too but other people don't really get to see it) and old people stop to comment on her/give her coins etc. (!)
it's nice in some ways but I really feel for her brothers who just don't have the same impact and sometimes even get ignored. :( On top of that I find it a little embarrassing sometimes and certainly don't mention it to anyone!

I think Trills idea of interrupting is a good idea although your friend might get a bit embarrassed.

SomethingOnce · 31/08/2013 12:02

What mrsjay says is a good point.

I have a relative who isn't at all reticent about her DD's achievements. She is, without doubt, a very bright child so her confidence is not false, but she is quite hard work in that she tends to find a lot of opportunities to talk about how good she is at this or that, and what her teachers say about her. Not all bright children do this so I wonder how she is received by her peers and whether her parents are doing her a disservice in the long run.

DeWe · 31/08/2013 12:56

Some children do have the nack of being noticed, and people loving them.
Dd2 does a good line in what I call "chatting prettily" and giving her whole life story and, particularly older people can really love that. She can be stroppy and refuse to talk in other situations.

But my experience is people who tell you that sort of thing, usually it isn't happening. Just nod (and sigh to yourself).
I remember once someone who used to do similar (though I don't think to the same extent) telling me how her ds was the talk of the school show. She showed me the video, and I admired as you do.
Then I met someone else whose child had also been in it. She was telling me how the whole hall had been talking about this one child, absolutely amazing, and I was about to open my mouth and say "I know I've seen the video of them dancing" when they said "no one could believe how well they sang silent night solo. It was so clear and tuneful and she was one of the youngest, she only turned 4 in August."

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 31/08/2013 12:58

She sounds awful and lacks social skills. Ditch her . She's only going to get worse

burstingbaboon · 31/08/2013 13:05

I know how you feel, I have a friend like that- my bla bla is soooo smart, so liked averywhere we go, teachers adore her.... But I just listen and tell her to consider herself lucky. We all love our kids , some people like to shout on all
Bells but some like me, less but I still do it .
For example( hm hm) my DD last year she was y5 went to compete with y7 in maths. She was the only one from school. No I didn't tell her until she didn't hers from her dd but still she went around o bursting dd is so clever bla bla...
That's how I know she is not being mean just maybe overly proud parent.
Try look at it like that and you will feel much better.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 31/08/2013 13:08

I have a friend who is like that, she is a nice lady but god it is wearing. The time I nearly lost it with her was when my dd was in hospital quite ill for a week and mid week I popped in only to be regaled as per usual about child wonder, who is a lovely child but I did not need the constant reminders, she never once asked after my ill child. Her husband over hearing the conversation came in and gave out to her for not asking after my child and told her off about being so self absorbed. Saved me the hassle I was not impressed though still she has other qualities

Bumblequeen · 31/08/2013 13:16

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Mintyy · 31/08/2013 13:18

Yanbu. Its very tiresome when people lack normal social skills like this.

Feminine · 31/08/2013 13:24

YANBU.

You have my sympathies.

Sounds so boring. I have to ask why you are friends though?

The type that say that kind of thing...( and you, that can't abide it) can't have much in common?

Tbh, the parents that yack on about their kids like the way you have described, very rarely have illuminating children.

Original poster

BoundandRebound · 31/08/2013 13:29

She's lovely funny kind and generous. She's intelligent and witty and great fun to be around

She's not a one dimensional adorer of her youngest child

But I think everyone knows that people can have an annoying habit and still be great friends

OP posts:

knickernicker · 31/08/2013 13:33

She's sounds tiresome. I agree with others though that I feel worse listening to someone constantly moaning about their child.

KhloeKardashian · 31/08/2013 13:39

Most if not all dc do these things they are amazed by but it is only special/significant when their dc does them.

^This

Growlithe · 31/08/2013 13:43

I know someone like this at DD's school. She has given her DS an unusual name, and has his hair long when most of the other boys in the year have theirs short. This all makes him stand out, and so he is memorable. She also sort of 'promotes' him, and herself, with the teachers, being far too overfamiliar. Then she suggests that everybody knows him or knows of him because he is such an especially adorable boy. Whicj he isn't really, he is quite mardy.

She makes out he is some sort of golden child, and us other parents should be as interested (or even more interested) in her child then our own.

In a way I sort of find her fascinating TBH. Why is she like this?

Feminine · 31/08/2013 13:44

After your latest defensive post. I can't see why you bothered asking.

If my best friend had a habit like you earlier ranted about, and was as lovely as you now claim....I would not talk about her on a message forum.

her wonderfulness would trump all agitations!

Feminine · 31/08/2013 13:45

I forgot a

KhloeKardashian · 31/08/2013 13:50

Growlithe I knew a little boy with a Mother like that right down to the longer hair , he is now a teenager. He was a big fish in a small pond, very popular as was his Mother who caused trouble behind the scenes even with her best mate in junior school. He is now quiet and unpopular at secondary school, quite sad really.

littlemog · 31/08/2013 13:53

Growlithe what is 'mardy'?

littlemog · 31/08/2013 13:54

And OP your friend sounds lovely so not really sure of the point of your post.

Growlithe · 31/08/2013 13:54

littlemog Grumpy. As in 'Mardy arse'.

littlemog · 31/08/2013 13:56

Mardy arse?!! I am def going to start using that!

Runningchick123 · 31/08/2013 13:58

Mardy is a nothern word which means a bit of a wimp or crybaby.

Floggingmolly · 31/08/2013 13:59

Of course it's nice that she's so proud of her child (aren't we all?) but I very much doubt the child is universally lauded wherever she goes.
In my experience, people like this are a right pain in the proverbial; so certain that everybody adores having their children around that they let them behave outrageously badly; convinced we're all as entranced by their (usually perfectly run of the mill) children as they are.
My children are the light of my life, I think they're genuinely fantastic, but I don't expect complete strangers to bow before their marvellousness not at the first meeting, anyway

Flip

1 2 3 4