To not want to go on holiday with adult dc.

[orangeandemons]

One of them stayed with us whilst on holiday. Suddenly there were loads of dishes, stuff everywhere, sand in the bath from where they had a shower after surfing, crumbs etc. I had enough of this when they all lived at home and don't want it on holiday. Plus, I kinda like the silence....

We would kick them out after a week. None of them have much cash, but tbh it's not the money. It's the thought of all the hassle when they were teens getting them to do anything, and that they would just slide back into that again.

The crumbs seems so trivial, but when 3 of them forget to wipe up crumbs, or will do the dishes later, it soon builds up.

Hmm well they were messy, all of them

If girlfriends will be with them, do you think they might make more of an effort? Agree if it's in a cottage will be more work.

I loved going away with my parents when I became an adult. We had so much fun and laughter and loads of happy memories of shared good times. I love going away with my adult DC for exactly the same reasons. If my DGS ever asked me to go on holiday with him, I would go in a shot!

I didn't realise lying by the pool, reading, going for walks and eating good food while drinking nice wine was generation specific.

Yes, you're right. People can like or dislike those things at any age. I suppose what I really meant was that most adult children wouldn't want to go on holiday with their parents or other people who were a generation older, regardless of whether they liked doing the same things or not.

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable.

A holiday is a time for you to relax and enjoy yourself, not fume about being left to tidy up the mess the others have made.

We suggested going on holiday with my parents next year, but they'd rather go on a cruise. We might do a weekend break with them instead, but I am not upset about it. It is their decision, and they tend to do very different hols to what we would like.

YANBU to not want to do it.

I don't like going on holiday with other people very much.

The issue is how you can communicate that without it sounding like I don't love you.

People who do like going on holiday with other people sometimes have difficulty understanding that not everyone likes the things they like, and that it's not a personal insult.

I take it you raised them to respect other people and to clean up after themselves?

I think they all need reminding.

I am an adult with children of my own now. We go away with my parents every year. Until the last year my grandparents have also come with us.
We are family and time together is precious.
Our multi-generational holidays are wonderful. It is such a positive experience for all of us.
Sometimes we do the same things sometimes we go off and do our own thing. We eat together once a day and all help out and chip in.
I do think it is sad anyone wouldn't want to go away with a different generation. We learn so much from each other.

But, you see, I'm not sure ours would help out and chip in. Well not without being nagged a bit. And I don't want the stress of nagging on holiday