To worry DD isn't growing up bilingual?

[bragazasdelaabuela80]

Hiya,

AIBU? DD is 3 now and despite me using only Spanish with her since birth as this is my native language, she only ever answers me in English. DP is British so speaks to her in English all the time and we speak in English as a couple as he doesn't speak Spanish at all. The only time I speak in Spanish apart from with DD is when I go back to Spain to see the family once a year.

Have any other mums had any 'negative experiences' with OPOL?

Listening to Spanish music seems to help DD1. She loves Miliki and knows most words to hola don pepito, hola don Jose

Agree that music is great: it sticks in the head so you are constantly hearing the sounds of the other language. Dc and I used to sing a lot when they were little.

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My children all speak English fluently (read and write too) despite growing up in France with me speaking only English to them. It was harder with the older two to access entertainment material in English but with my youngest YouTube has been great.

An Argentinian friend living here had the same problem as you. As soon as she stopped translating for her children during family visits (either here or there) they made the effort to communicate with their cousins, aunts, uncles etc.

Your efforts now will be rewarded ten times over in the future.

Me and my sister grew up bilingual. Mum spoke to us in her mother tongue and we answered in English, always. Didn't stop us both being fluent and I now have extra opportunities for work that others don't have. Plus I found when French and german were introduced at school that I had no fear of adding some more languages, I already knew two so how hard could another be? It's fun now, we have conversations which start in one language, but may well end in the other. Mid sentence.
To answer the op, your 3 year old is already bilingual.

My 3.5 year old wont speak English to anyone. If she learns a word, say Sponge, she'll use the English word until she knows the finnish word for it and then I'll never hear 'sponge' again. I have to translate for her when we talk to any of my relatives as she only wants to speak finnish, but she understands everything I say.

I'm happy she's speaking the language of the country we live in. I think it's fairly normal to not chop and change all the time for her. She's only been speaking for 2 years so its early days yet. I think the pronunciation is hard for her.

We watch Peppa in both languages and she never notices afaik.

19month old has no preference yet.

Sorry haven't read the whole thread.

We do OPOL English -me / Arabic - DH (DC are 6 and 10).

DS2 will often answer in English when DH speaks to him in Arabic. However, the three of them have spent over a month in DH's home country this summer and DS2 managed well in an Arabic speaking environment. The information is in there even if isn't used as a first preference.

I was brought up in London. Abuela lived around the corner. She only ever spoke to us in Spanish. We all answered in English until our teens, or thereabouts. Don't worry about it, just continue as you are, and it will sort.

Por cierto, tengo 54 ahora, y gestionar en español, aunque oxidado, sino como un niño / joven, no tenía ninguna dificultad para comprender cualquier persona de Gibraltar.

I think the bilinguality thing is more complicated than people realise. It doesn't happen automatically. I can think of numerous examples of "bilingual" families where the child or children tend to identify much more strongly with one language than with the other. I have a friend whose kids have totally rejected their father's mother tongue (spanish) although the father spoke to them almost exclusively in it.

My DH has a non British mother tongue and he's a bit crap about speaking to her in it so my DD is definitely far more comfortable with English than with the other language. However much we push this, I think she will ultimately identify far more British.

Having said that I think any exposure to another language in childhood is ultimately beneficial, even if the child doesn't actually end up properly bilingual. In the long term your DD will be familiar with even if not fluent in Spanish and may go on to want to learn more about it later.

Also I think just having the knowledge that another language is being spoken is helpful too. I have half brothers who grew up speaking another language alongside English and I think the fact that I heard this language a lot in my home made me comfortable with it. That alone helps a child not to be scared of other languages.

I havent read all the posts but i just wanted to say that my SIL is British and married to a Finn. They have lived in Finland all their married life and had three children. She only spoke to them in English and her DH only in Finnish. When she spoke to them they always replied in Finnish.

Fast forward on the children are age 27, 25 and 23 and all completed degrees at UK universities as they are completely fluent in English.

Don't worry. Your DD is bilingual!

I think it's completely different when the mother speaks English in a non-English speaking country- English is a very dominant language, there are tonnes of signs even in different countries in English, pop music in English and so on. Plus it is taught across the world in schools in so many countries. I'm not sure it's such a big deal learning English that way to be honest, millions of people have learned it as a second language (i.e. not from their parents) because of the availability of English/American films, opportunities to speak it and so on. I have family who did English through their mother and they have very heavy accents and seem to be at no advantage to those who learned it at school or later in life, or who just came here and immersed themselves. About 1/6 of our university intake have english as a second language and very few of these have this from their parents.

Now, if the mother was Finnish and was over here with an English partner who didn't speak Finnish, the chances of just learning Finnish through OPOL without great reinforcement/living in the culture/endless insistence is very low. I know probably about 6 couples where the minority language is not spoken by the children, and while they comprehend some of that language, they are far from being able to use it.

I'm not saying this to depress anyone, but the idea you just chat away and the child absorbs it is a little naive. Children also differ in their ability to pick up languages, we have one family friend whose child is simply amazing at picking up languages, and aged 10 speaks 4 very well, we have friends who have children who don't speak the second language despite it being the home language.

Countering the dominance of English is very hard, Spanish is a good language to do this with though, because it's very widely spoken and access to materials/resources/music/countries which speak it is huge (unlike say Finnish!)

I think your dd is amazing she answers in English but understands Spanish I know you want her to reply and talk to you in spanish but she is bilingual when you think about it, I have no experience but a woman I know speaks spanish and her child didnt start replying in both languages till they were 7

Having said that I think any exposure to another language in childhood is ultimately beneficial, even if the child doesn't actually end up properly bilingual. In the long term your DD will be familiar with even if not fluent in Spanish and may go on to want to learn more about it later.

I agree with this wholeheartedly, people often get very upset if the child is not fluent in their mother tongue, as it's an identity thing and again, we have lots of friends who have real issues with their children being English (identity wise) while they are from a different culture/language. But if you can relax about that a bit, and see the positives in speaking just a little of another language, or being familiar enough to pick it up if you want to go and live/holiday extensively there, it can be such a benefit. You do have to be realistic though, if you don't spend much time in the other country, don't insist on that language being spoken, then the opportunity of bilingualism through natural learning might go past- but at least in Spanish there are plenty of courses/even Spanish school on the weekends and so on that can help (if the child is motivated).

I only speak to my 2 year old in French and most of the time he answers back in English. He understands you, and in his own time he will speak Spanish. Keep at it.

Yes - to the poster who said it makes a child comfortable with other languages. My son is happy and pretty much comprehending French, Russian and Spanish from my friends because he finds it normal that people speak differently. Also, I think he has learned to read body language and gestures to make up for when he can't understand the actual words.