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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think the lollipop man shouldn't give my DD a toy

58 replies

daisydaisy70 · 28/08/2013 16:39

my 2yo daughter was crying about going in the pushchair when we got outside the school today. The new lollipop man produced a toy horse out his pocket & gave it to her & told her he wanted to know what she'd called it tomorrow. AIBU to feel incredibly uncomfortable about this?

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 28/08/2013 17:09

You've changed your tune as the thread went on though. You said you felt 'uncomfortable' which implies that you were mistrusting any motives he may have had. Yabvu - or you were in your OP at least.

MacaYoniandCheese · 28/08/2013 17:12

He's obviously a paedophile. Can you look into changing schools or at the very least, go a different way to school?

KatieScarlett2833 · 28/08/2013 17:15

The best part of my morning is my blether with the lollipop man. He's so cheery he always makes me smile.

MollyHooper · 28/08/2013 17:20

:) at all the lovely Lollypop people.

Ours was a dinner lady when I went to school who shouted made me cry for mucking about with my water cup.

I used to hate her but she is lovely to DS1. It's weird.

So yes YABU, at least he has never yelled at you and made you cry.

MollyHooper · 28/08/2013 17:22

God, I really do talk some shite.

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/08/2013 17:22

Yabu

He was a nice man. Why would it make you feel uncomfortable? Get a grip.

ClaireCharlie · 28/08/2013 17:25

Yes he is clearly a child snatcher and most likely to be a pedophile. I think you should report this atrocious behaviour.

Or on the flip side he might just be a nice person who was trying to help you and being kind to your child. He would have also had to have gone through a background check to do a job relating to child.

Not everyone has an agenda - some people are just kind.

NotYoMomma · 28/08/2013 17:26

I still remember Jim our awesome lollipop man and I left primary school nearly 20 years ago!!!!

yab a bit pathetic

ClaireCharlie · 28/08/2013 17:27

but hopefully he won't have an endless supply of them!

What a lovely and grateful person you do sound.

Floggingmolly · 28/08/2013 17:29

Yes, you are being unreasonable, and very silly. I love how the discomfort morphed into "now she thinks she have any toys at playgroup!" a few posts in Hmm

inneedofsomehelpplz · 28/08/2013 17:42

& its small minded bigots like you that give nice, kind & genuine people think twice about being so kind, thoughtful & generous. i do hope youve only ranted on here & not to people who will now cross the road to avoid him (excuse the pun). what exactly did you think this lovely man was going to do?!

CoffeeTea103 · 28/08/2013 18:05

YABVVU- people like you just look for the bad when good things happen. And as the other posters pointed out your tune changed along the way.

Babybunny88 · 28/08/2013 18:09

If it stopped her from screaming and putting on a show I'd've felt like kissing the man! (Though I don't think I would have, mind you). Nothing worse than a bored toddler squealing in public. We have all been there Wine

It was a nice thing for him to do. YABU :)

daisydaisy70 · 28/08/2013 19:18

OK, OK, OK, I've got the message! Please stop now. I'm paranoid & introverted & unreasonable which you have confirmed, probably a rubbish mum too. Apologies, I feel thoroughly ashamed & despised & am glad I asked to check rather than making the wrong move. So thanks, I'm off to hate myself some more and wonder I managed to overcome myself and treat someone reasonably even though I felt so uncomfortable. All the other lollipop folk have also been lovely but sufficed with chat & cheer, I was totally taken aback by him giving a present, as many of you have pointed out this seems to be common but it's not something I had come across before in many years of school runs.

OP posts:
DanicaJones · 29/08/2013 02:39

Could you get some reins so your dd could walk part of the way if she is getting frustrated about having to go in the pushchair?

daisydaisy70 · 29/08/2013 06:54

Thanks Danica, that's a good idea, it's a 4 mile round trip & she does walk a fair chunk of the way but I put her in the buggy if it rains & I haven't got rainsuits, also for the busier sections. Sometimes it's difficult to steer, balance the toys, bags etc. Sometimes things happen in the wrong order, faster than I would like. The road is very broken up outside the school & every previous time she's walked she's fallen there. Perhaps long reins would allow her to walk far enough away from the buggy to have more chance of staying upright! Sometimes she's screaming for a snack &, horror of horrors, I make her wait until it's safe to stop and I can get her something suitable. Some of you would cave in & just give her something straight away to avoid a scene I guess but that's not the way I parent. Maybe some kindly soul will start giving her sweets :)

For reasons I don't particularly want to go into on this thread even before my son started at this school I was given a strong message that there was little I could do to help him with an intimidating situation and have found the whole experience of him starting school hugely upsetting whilst of course maintaining an air of cool calm so he has the best chance of feeling a tiny bit confident. I don't remember it being at all like this with my older children. I guess that's why I reacted so badly to the gift as I felt my control of a situation with my child had been hijacked by another, albeit kindly, nae saintly, person who has no idea how much I'm just trying to hold myself together

I didn't know that to come on here was to be given an emotion of ranting, I didn't feel ranty. I really am not small-minded or bigoted, maybe a bit bitchy though. I am shocked by the way people behave here and the assumptions they make, they would be very unsuitable for jury service, I think I would have been hung last night without an appeal. I didn't realise that I should've put down every detail in my OP, I thought the beauty of social media was that we could chat. I made an assumption that the purpose of a site like this was to help & support each other not shoot each other down in flames. If I had said a lollipop woman would so many people have immediately equated incredibly uncomfortable with an accusation of ulterior motives? I hold a mirror up to you.

A lot of your comments would have been individually fine but en masse were extremely aggressive. Dangerous place this, perhaps we should have to take an emotional itelligence test before we post, I propably should've before I posted this. So, I guess this is not the site for me, flame away people, flame away...

OP posts:
TiredDog · 29/08/2013 07:06

Daisy. Have some Cake and a Brew

Parenting is bloody hard and you sound wrung out. AIBU is not the topic for you unless you're feeling up to a straight flaming. Attacking other posters back is not going to help.

Pick another topic and discuss how tough you're finding your son's start at school and you'll get more support :)

TiredDog · 29/08/2013 07:07

perhaps we should have to take an emotional itelligence test before we post

Not intelligence but maybe resilience

sweetestcup · 29/08/2013 07:07

But OP none of us are mind readers, your first post was all there was - so yes if you didn't want people to think you were uncomfortable because of his motives you should have said! And Im still unclear as to what then by uncomfortable?

pigletmania · 29/08/2013 07:21

Yabvvvvvvvvvvvvu what a lovely man. God not all men are paediphiles fgs

christinarossetti · 29/08/2013 07:41

Fgs Op has acknowledged that she was bu and expanded her pov if you look up thread.

I hate the mob castigating that sometimes kicks off on MN of which the repetitive posts all saying the same thing above ate a prime example.

wanderings · 29/08/2013 07:52

Don't lollipop folk have to be CRB checked, like everybody else who gets anywhere near children?

If so, does that count for nothing?

Awomansworth · 29/08/2013 07:54

AIBU at it's best!

OP has now accepted she is BU... but that's not enough for some.

I know, let's kick the OP whilst down, just to prove what fuckers we all are. Amazing.

pigletmania · 29/08/2013 07:59

Sorry op you have ackniwkedged that ywbvvu, 3 sleepness night in a row with a sick baby

noteventhebestdrummer · 29/08/2013 08:02

Maybe he could see that YOU were the one that needed most help. You sound like you're having a really hard time, he might have picked that up on other days too? Some people 'read' stress in others v well. Would it help to think that he wasn't just reacting to your DD's mega tantrum today?
The world needs more kind people I think.

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