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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking 'piles' should be more talked about?

104 replies

Nicknameinvalid · 28/08/2013 14:39

First time in my life I've had them.. And OUCH!

But I'm sooo embarrassed.. I've had to make up a 'pulling a muscle' injury at work to cover why I keep wincing and squeaking when I sit down wrong!

Allegedly 40% of the population has had them.. So why aren't they ever talked about?

Or am I just a total prude lol

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 28/08/2013 22:35

My name is Sam I have the Farmer Giles.

They itch sometimes and keep me awake!

I even rushed to the GP once when they started bleeding.. I have fissures too.

Sallystyle · 28/08/2013 22:39

Oh and my husband sometimes catches them when we have sex. I have to tell him to move as he is rubbing my piles.

TMI?

LadyBigtoes · 28/08/2013 22:41

"catches" them!?! aarrggh!

PollyPlummer · 28/08/2013 22:43

Youch samu.

Sallystyle · 28/08/2013 22:43

well, rubs against them.

Bibblebo · 28/08/2013 22:46

Cutting out bread and eating muesli instead is a great help!

Gurraun · 28/08/2013 22:47

Oh my god they are worst things ever. I got two at 38 weeks pregnant. They thrombosed and were so awful they took me in for an emergency section as they were worried I'd haemorrhage if I went into labour.

They were vastly improved as soon as hefty baby removed but I'm lucky to have bupa so saw a consultant when baby a week old and he injected them with phenyl to kill them completely. That was 5 weeks ago and all sorted now.

I talk about them to anyone and everyone and urge any sufferers to get them sorted (camp at doctors and refuse to leave if necessary )

trashcanjunkie · 29/08/2013 11:13

almostfifty that's appalling! I'd want to hunt down that fucker and do him/her some serious damage....

BatwingsAndButterflies · 29/08/2013 11:36

MY GOD!

I used to want children but among various other things, threads like this make me think I'll just enjoy my money and perfect bumhole forever.

SirRaymondClench · 29/08/2013 11:49

Seasick have you considered a career as a bumhole model?
Because there must be a market for it (somewhere)

DoudousDoor · 29/08/2013 11:51

I gave birth in France. When it was "checking out" time (4 days after the birth) the midwife came round to give me all the various prescriptions (painkillers for me, vitamins for DS etc.) and asked if I needed something for piles.

So it's very well-known here!

Foolishly I smugly said no and regretted it a while later. Have not had a lot of pain though yet just random bleeding and pain sometimes. Not even convinced it is piles. Thought it might be once when I went to the loo and it looked like a scene from a horror movie (and it wasn't period blood) but fortunately that's not happened again.

Tapirbackrider · 29/08/2013 13:46

I have piles, external ones, caused by IBS and stress. Doesn't matter how much water I drink, the bastardy things can be agony. Last xmas & new year was horrendous, but after much steroid cream and changing jobs they have subsided. I'm keeping everything crossed that they don't come back!

Original poster
Nicknameinvalid · 29/08/2013 14:57

Thanks to the advice on here (namely suppositories) they are feeling a bit better - still sticking out like I've got a tail tho Blush and wiping ones bottom is a teeth clenching, trying not to screech experience.

OP posts:
Wellwobbly · 29/08/2013 15:53

"Oh and my husband sometimes catches them when we have sex. I have to tell him to move as he is rubbing my piles. "

No. These stories can NOT be topped.

brianbennettfan · 29/08/2013 17:07

Had a nasty dose of the Farmers a few weeks ago.

Second what expat wrote a couple of pages ago about using Hemoclin. £16.99 at Boots (ouch) but very effective.

Feel sorry in my heart for those who have had a thrombosed pile, they are worse than childbirth. My perfect bumhole vanished when I had DD1 at the ripe old age of 21.

Original poster
Nicknameinvalid · 29/08/2013 17:27

Am I alone in wondering how they can be 'caught' whilst having sex? Either I'm doing it wrong or I have no imagination...

Unless of course he frequently 'misses' the goal Hmm Grin

And I suspect that seeing as this tho
U

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicknameinvalid · 29/08/2013 17:28

Argh! Bloody iphone!

I suspect I'm slightly over thinking this as this thought occurred to me whilst driving on the motorway today Grin

OP posts:
Almostfifty · 29/08/2013 18:13

Ahh Trashcan she was the most lovely doctor I'd ever had. Saw me through all four pregnancies, and we both cried when I moved away.

Her husband was also a doctor. She said he was, 'Very sympathetic to people who had piles...' The poor sod probably got her pushing his back up for him!

vjg13 · 29/08/2013 19:43

A relative of mine only went to her GP when it WAS THE SIZE OF A HEN's EGG! Even the GP struggled to not gasp when she saw it.

trashcanjunkie · 29/08/2013 23:40

shudder..... ooooooh fucketty fuck fuck

trashcanjunkie · 29/08/2013 23:43

and why don't we have more friggin bidet action in this country? Somebody I knew had an electric shower fitted next to the toilet. She was marrying a muslim chap who had to wash his parts five times a day before praying. I have thought upon this many times. I'd like to wash my parts every time I wee or poo. Just with water. It'd be luvverly.

SeaSickSal · 29/08/2013 23:43

SirRaymond I have. But I don't think the world is ready to deal with the perfection that is my bumhole.

FiftyShadesofGreyMatter · 30/08/2013 08:35

SeaSickSal could you please elaborate on your skin tag op. Please pm me if you don't want to share with the world, thanks Grin

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 30/08/2013 08:54

Mine have come and gone since DS1 was born. Had an awful case about two weeks ago, thanks to MN as soon as they appear now I get the suppositories! Luckily my GP has given me daily movicol now as my meds seem to have a bit of a bunging effect, which was Not Helping. Took me ages after the birth of DS1 to realise that the majority of my undercarriage pain was piles rather than fanjo pain Grin

My mum has had her thrombosed ones operated on twice, once just after having DD2 (who is now heavily pregnant and suffering with her own!) and once again more recently. She is very upfront about it and made her young male colleagues blush when they asked if she was okay as she'd been in hospital.

Yonihadtoask · 30/08/2013 09:13

YANBU OP.

I too, am a sufferer. Am awaiting a date for my op - as have been in real pain with them.

But it is embarrassing - and other people think you are being a big old softie, and wimping out of activities because of piles.

However mine have eased a bit, still there. But in the first month I slept not a wink. I had a (imaginary) goblin kicking me up the arse all through the night with a pointed shoe. I was mainlining Co-Codamol - which in hindsight was the worse thing to be prescribed! Grr..

I doubt that the op will be a breeze - but I want to be back to normal, and not have this cluster of grapes hindering my bum wiping. Grim.

I have told all my friends about it, most have suffered, but not to the same extent.