to think that people should stop complaining about their blinkin' weddings?

[ZipIt]

Yes, it's hard work to arrange. Yes, it's very expensive. Yes, you are going to have to decide whether to put pink frilly placemats on all the tables and whether guests want small bags of sugared almonds (and no, they don't).

But please SHUT UP about it.

(disclaimer: OK, I'm having a bad day and ABU about most things)

(oh, and I don't mean on here, by the way )

Weddings are only hard work and expensive if you make them so. I barely remember arranging mine. I started a new job about a month before I got married and the only time I mentioned it was when asking for time off for my honeymoon.

Indeed, angelos02. No one is holding a gun to anyone's head and forcing them to peruse bridal magazines. I assume.

My sisters did mine. I just strolled up and chose between pre-selected options A, B or C. Fabulous. And anyone who bothers with 'wedding favours' or special knives to cut the cake, or novelty place-cards, well, you've only yourselves to blame for wedding stress, haven't you?

This is a bit unfair - some of us have very interfering parents that wanted us dressed up as a dolly that covers a loo roll with 1000000000 guests in attendance, some kind of ridiculous cake, napkins that match the MoB's outfit and some kind of pigeon release. Trying to explain to someone that no, you don't want that, and having them have a meltdown when they don't get their own way is very stressful and upsetting, and generally there is a need to let off steam in an environment that it won't get back to your mum.

I'm so glad I never have to go through that again.

I know it's unfair really, HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform - everyone has a right to be stressed about whatever's big in their lives. Just venting .

I would have been so bored having to arrange a big wedding like that. Glad we just went down to the registry office with 25 people and had a pub buffet :)

I have a friend like that.
I'm not sure how she was when preparing her wedding because I was abroad then, but she goes over the top with her DD's birthday parties.

Another friend who is a party organiser stresses less.

For my wedding I think I got 3 bridal magazines (I tend to do research in 2s or 3s, as I do science and never get just one source) and decided fairly quickly what I wanted.
The dress itself was chosen in one fitting from 2-3 that I tried.

I think those people just enjoy the whole preparation, even though they complain.

YANBU. If anyone has reason to moan on about their wedding it's me. But why would anyone want to hear all that? So I don't mention it.

People tend to talk about what is going on in their life at the time. If what 's going on is a wedding then that's what they talk about.

Maybe they are bored of hearing about your sex life/bunions/diet/children/mortgage etc, Zipit. hmm.

How did the pigeon release go HotelTango? Did the pigeons poo on any of the guests?

Ha - it didn't happen. We cancelled the circus and sprung a small, intimate wedding instead. Was the best decision ever!

I did see photos of an elopement where they did a pigeon release after the ceremony. Odd.

How could anyone ever tire of hearing about my bunions, WafflyVersatile? Don't be ridiculous.

Its weddings, pregnancy and children, for skme you would think they were the first in the entire universe to do it!

The odd mention is fine but some do go on and on and it gets very annoying. I've known some pregnancies feel like ten years not nine months!

Gwan Gwan gwan, Vivi, you know you want to.

I'm a bit like that, to be honest, but I'm only pretending to be bored or irritated because I don't want to look all boasty. Secretly, I'm thrilled and excited and could talk about it all day but I don't want to annoy anyone.

Eldritch

I'm so used to keeping all this in the box marked 'do not bore people with this shit' that it's starting to become a bit of a blur...

In a nutshell, DM involved in serious car crash days before... Followed by facing complete cancellation at the 11th hour (no exaggeration) due to high winds invalidating marquee Co's liability insurance, massive reorganisation and subsequent chaos resultant from marquee fiasco... Catering company FUCKING SHIT (so tempted to name & shame but won't) who among other misdemeanours served the food two hours late... and these were just the major things. There were myriad other fuck ups that came about as a knock-on from these main issues.

But we are married and that's all that counts

Oh Vivi that's terrible. Is your mother ok?

Bright side: excellent excuse for self-indulgent and luxurious renewal of vows in a few years time.

Thank you, yes she's fine. Although she still hasn't told my sister what happened (she didn't tell me, or anyone for that matter for 2 days and only then did I manage to drag it out of her virtually by force when I saw what an utter her car was in) so that is still source of a bit of anguish (I'd like to tell DSis, DM doesn't want to)

Ha yes, vow renewal has been mooted, although right now anything wedding-related gives me the twitch

utter state*

People have just got so theme-obsessed, perfection-obsessed.

Pretty much all of it is totally aspirational and the whole idea is 'I want it to be the perfect day which expresses 1. who I am, 2. my love for my partner, 3. how cool my friends are (or I want them to be), 4. how much money I can afford to splash out and 5. how much I reject the aesthetics of some of the people I will invite etc etc etc

It's too many things to be fussing about. It's all about what other people think of you, whether that's 'I didn't know she had such good taste' or 'gosh they must be loaded to be able to do this' to 'my friend gives a good party even if it is 100 miles away from where we live and I'm having to pay for 2 nights' accommodation and a babysitter'.

It's bonkers.

Wow, Vivi - I really don't think that comes in the same category as whinging on about wedding favours! Well done getting through all that and being married. Glad your DM is OK.

Eloquently put, Thaumatrope.

ApocalypseThen - personally, I don't see any problem at all with telling people how thrilled and excited you are about your wedding. Congrats and all the best with it - hope all goes smoothly.

No, it's sour and unnecessary! I've just been to too many weddings that were ALL about showing off and creating perfection, and not enough about spending time with the guests and just having a great day.
But who am I to decide what's a great day?