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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect better treatment of my dyslexic ds at summer drama camp

73 replies

birdinatent · 28/08/2013 00:18

I sent my ds to a Bugsy Malone drama week today, Its the first time hes done anything like this but he loves the film and wanted to give it a try. As he is VERY dyslexic and so very uptight about reading out loud, especially when put on the spot and not given time to prepare, I rang them a couple of weeks ago to point this out and ask whether this was likely to happen on the first day.

I was assured that no child would be put on the spot, and they had made a note of his name so that they would make sure he wouldnt be put in this position.

So today, I get a phone call at lunchtime to say he feels ill and can someone pick him up. It turns out they handed out scripts to everyone and asked them all to read the narrators part......so that they could allocate the roles.....he tells me he was one of the last to read, and he managed about 10 words before he panicked and went blank....knowing how he reads normally, this was brilliant!

He cried on and off all afternoon, has had it confirmed to him once again, that he is stupid, and never ever wants to do anything like this again.

Is it so unreasonable to expect people to cut him a break now and again, I just wanted him to have a go at something completely different from school, where he fails endlessly, and maybe make a success of it, or at the very least enjoy himself. I am so sad for him

OP posts:

neunundneunzigluftballons · 28/08/2013 00:23

I am sorry this happened dd is dyslexic too and I would hate for her to be in that situation. I am quite fussy about the camps I send her too for that reason no pressure ones only things I am sure she will enjoy science, art, sports etc. hope he feels a bit better tomorrow will he go back.

Original poster

birdinatent · 28/08/2013 00:25

No, he says he doesnt want to go back, will ask him again in the morning but not pressuring him to do anything he doesnt want to. It was meant to be fun after all

OP posts:

tywysogesgymraeg · 28/08/2013 00:26

There was always bound to be a lot of reading at an acting club/holiday.
Would you be able to find an activity for him that would boost his confidence, rather than put him in a situation he finds difficult?

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/08/2013 00:28

Can I just ask, what sort of things did you expect that they would be doing at this camp?

Onesleeptillwembley · 28/08/2013 00:30

Original poster

birdinatent · 28/08/2013 00:31

He did a cricket week earlier in the hols which was fine, he just expressed an interest in this because he loves the film, and I didnt think it was fair to put him off because he has difficulty reading, lots of actors are dyslexic, they just have to have the scripts ahead of time and have time to prepare. I thought a professional company would have the ability to see this didnt happen. I know its not comparable, but a disabled child wouldnt be excluded would they?

OP posts:

Mumsyblouse · 28/08/2013 00:32

This is such a shame. Can you call them and tell them what happened? Would he be able to read the script at home/memorise it or is this really unlikely to happen as well?

There was a lovely programme about an actress who was dyslexic and she stayed up at night learning her lines because it was very hard for her to do so. She did it though and it was a very touching and interesting documentary (can't think of the actresses name).

I hope your son feels better about this soon, it's a shame that he was put on the spot though.

Original poster

birdinatent · 28/08/2013 00:35

right so thats it, acting is completely reliant on being able to read fluently is it.....I wonder how Tom Cruise and that girl on Eastenders and Henry Winkler (the fonz!!) got away with it for so long then!

I am obviously a bad and thoughtless mother, thanks for the support everyone

OP posts:

CoolaSchmoola · 28/08/2013 00:35

I'd be livid with the people running the camp. One of the main benefits of drama for children is that it is meant to help BUILD confidence, not utterly destroy it.

There is no excuse for them not retaining or passing on the information you gave them to the people leading the sessions, and I would have expected them to have been aware that reading aloud from a script is not easy for all children, for a variety of reasons, and to have used different methods (of which there are many!) to assess ability and suitability for roles even if they weren't aware of his dyslexia.

I would also have expected the first session to have involved confidence and trust building exercises and games, to help the group form bonds and for the children to feel comfortable with each other before moving into scripted work whilst also giving the leaders the chance to observe. This would have allowed the leaders to assess ability without the script reading exercise - which to be honest, if they're all reading the same part, is an easy option rather than a more fun and more effective one, and probably rather boring for all involved.

Whilst I hope he goes back tomorrow and things improve, if he refuses please ensure you request a refund as they have failed to meet his needs despite advising you they could.

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/08/2013 00:36

Did you ask to have the script ahead of the camp so that he would have time to prepare? Sorry if this seems harsh, but I can't think of anything that they'd be doing at this camp that wouldn't involve reading the script of the film on day 1, so I'm sot sure what you expected?

Original poster

birdinatent · 28/08/2013 00:37

sorry Mumsyblouse just posted my rant and then saw your lovely post.

that was much more what I was hoping for, thankyou. Am feeling over sensitive sorry

OP posts:

CoolaSchmoola · 28/08/2013 00:41

Oh and I've run drama camps for children and the ability to read is not necessary. There are many ways to skin a cat as they say. I've even recorded the lines onto cd for one child who struggled with reading, he learnt them that way and was utterly fabulous!

I totally disagree with the notion that you should have expected lots of reading from a drama camp, yes there is script work, but there are ways to include everyone. It's a little extreme for a comparison - but if script reading was such a massive requirement for drama Chicken Shed would really struggle. They don't because they utilise inclusive strategies.

OP you didn't do anything wrong - the course leaders did for failing to meet the needs of your child.

Original poster

birdinatent · 28/08/2013 00:42

thanks Coola, I was hoping this would be a confidence building thing, I didnt think it was unreasonable to expect there would be other methods of deciding parts without all being sat round in a circle reading aloud. I would have found that daunting at 10 and I'm not dyslexic.

WhereYouLeftIt this is a long shot, but you dont have any experience of dealing with anyone with reading difficulties do you?

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/08/2013 00:44

No, I don't; nor do I have any experience of running a drama camp. That's why I asked you what you were expecting of this camp, because my expectations would be that they'd be using the script of the specified film.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 28/08/2013 00:45

Yes I would leave it up to him I know it would be well out of dds comfort zone but some times that is a good thing.

Lovecat · 28/08/2013 00:52

That's terrible. As Coolaschmoola says, I'd expect a drama camp to work on trust and confidence, on physical acting, improvisation games and warm ups before even looking at scripts. Acting is about more than reading from a script.

I am a member of a drama group where one of our actors has reading difficulties and is possibly dyslexic and he really struggled at first (he didn't want anyone to know he was having troubles, it still hasn't been officially acknowledged) - we have actually changed our audition policy since he joined and now make the audition pieces available online several weeks before auditions to accommodate him and others who may need more time to prepare. He's a great actor and our group would be poorer without him. My own DD has issues with her reading (elements of dyslexia) and she loves acting, I would be aghast if I sent her to such a camp and that was her day 1 experience, especially if I'd forewarned them.

Those saying you should have expected this and implying your DS shouldn't be looking at acting as an activity are being short-sighted. If he does go back, I would damn make sure that there won't be a repeat of day 1 before I left him there for day 2 - it doesn't sound like they've taken any note of his needs at all and I wouldn't let them fob you off.

Hope your DS isn't too put off by all this and if he does want to pursue acting, finds a nice group that are prepared to accommodate him.

Dayshiftdoris · 28/08/2013 00:59

OP called the summer camp and explained what the issues were and asked if they foresaw any issues / could they support... They said fine...

You don't need training to know that putting someone with dyslexia on the spot to read does not come under the umbrella of 'supportive'...

You were NOT unreasonable OP... I do this often with my son's groups and being autistic I can't cover all the difficulties he might have and I would either expect better or expect them to say that they can't help...

neunundneunzigluftballons · 28/08/2013 01:00

Funnily enough though our drama camp did the same show last year and the problem I would see for these types of camps is that they are intensive, hot housing if you will. In our case the camp was 2 weeks which meant not a lot of time for role allocation, script learning etc and that rather than drama itself would be more of a reason I would consider it unsuitable for dd. is your one similar in that they are hoping to put in a show in a short window of time.

sweetiepie1979 · 28/08/2013 01:00

That's awful I'm a drama teacher and I wouldn't dream of putting a child on the spot like that if I had that information about them please please complain. There are so many bad acting classes out there that parents get really sucked in to spending money on.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 28/08/2013 01:01

Our local drama camp we were not involved.

NoComet · 28/08/2013 01:05

YANBU.
Sadly people are totally thoughtless, sometimes.

Church are absolute horrors for just chucking prayers and readings at the children, totally forgetting that my DD will find it hard and another DC has been in tears. They both need time to practice.

DD1 is doing drama GCSE and she's very good at learning lines and even better at learning song lyrics with a tune to help her, but she wouldn't want to read a new script cold, out load.

From the marks she gets in comprehension test and other exams and how much she likes reading books, I think far more of the words go into her head right than she manages to read out. Likewise, when she's talking, she'll know what she means, but the word escapes.

Fortunately DD1 is a very confident and very difficult to embarrass character, but many dyslexics aren't and people running children's activities need to be aware if this.

Lampshadeofdoom · 28/08/2013 01:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missingmumxox · 28/08/2013 01:31

You are not being unreasonable at all, I am dyslexic and drama at secondary school was the saviour of me, and I didn't even know then I was Diagnosed at 31.
I remember my boys tears at 7 watching David Tennent reading off boards and his "I will never be Dr Who, cos I can't read, i'm stupid"I spent ages with him telling him that drama is about learning not reading, and DT was being lazy reading (DT I know you are not :) )
I would be so angry about this, having alerted then to the problem, it is cruel , it is a holiday club not school,

Lampshadeofdoom · 28/08/2013 01:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sleepthief · 28/08/2013 04:56

YANBU, at the very least they ought to have been honest when you spoke to them about the possibility of him being put on the spot like that.

And there are absolutely shit loads of well-known dyslexic actors! Really loads, so I don't think you were unreasonable to send him to a drama group. My dyslexic husband trained as an actor and still works in a performance environment and very dyslexic DS1 is clearly shaping up to follow in his dad's footsteps...

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