to expect better treatment of my dyslexic ds at summer drama camp

[birdinatent]

I sent my ds to a Bugsy Malone drama week today, Its the first time hes done anything like this but he loves the film and wanted to give it a try. As he is VERY dyslexic and so very uptight about reading out loud, especially when put on the spot and not given time to prepare, I rang them a couple of weeks ago to point this out and ask whether this was likely to happen on the first day.

I was assured that no child would be put on the spot, and they had made a note of his name so that they would make sure he wouldnt be put in this position.

So today, I get a phone call at lunchtime to say he feels ill and can someone pick him up. It turns out they handed out scripts to everyone and asked them all to read the narrators part......so that they could allocate the roles.....he tells me he was one of the last to read, and he managed about 10 words before he panicked and went blank....knowing how he reads normally, this was brilliant!

He cried on and off all afternoon, has had it confirmed to him once again, that he is stupid, and never ever wants to do anything like this again.

Is it so unreasonable to expect people to cut him a break now and again, I just wanted him to have a go at something completely different from school, where he fails endlessly, and maybe make a success of it, or at the very least enjoy himself. I am so sad for him

There is no reason your DS shouldn't do a drama camp just because he is dyslexic. However, from your OP it sounds as if you didn't make it clear just how difficult it was going to be - perhaps (with hindsight!) you could have asked for the script beforehand so you could have gone through it with him before the camp. The staff would really have no idea just how much your son's reading ability is affected by his dyslexia as it is so varied.

Can you take him in today and explain in person what the difficulties are likely to be and how to overcome them?

I think you need to encourage your son a bit more to go back. Completing it and overcoming his fears is the only way he will heal from this. Also you need to tell your son if this happens to find a time where he can pull the leader aside, or if there is no time, say 'can i talk to you please over here for a minute?' Where he can tell them in confidence he is dyslexic and could they please not make it obvious but he would prefer to sit out the reading at the moment. I know it sounds a lot for a small boy, but this is the only way he will avoid these situations until he builds his confidence more. Also, from someone who wishes her mother had given this advice, he is NOT stupid. He probably has something he is much better at than other people no? Art? Sport? Math? Play to your strengths...(many famous and talented people are dyslexic, including the very clever and successful Jamie Oliver).

YANBU

Please let the person who is running the camp know about your experience. I agree (as a person who has been involved in and taught drama for a long time) that there is NO reason to have done that. There is also no excuse for putting him on the spot (or in a reading situation at all) when you had so clearly taken the time to contact th beforehand.

If he likes drama/dancing/singing in general,and not just Bugsy, then please encourage him to try again in a more respectful environment. Good luck!

YANBU.

It does sound, though, that it might not have been the right kind of drama camp for him. A lot of these more commercial outfits will just take a script and gear everyone towards putting on a show. Finding a more creative outfit, which uses improvisation, games, etc, might be more up his street. Youth theatres are brilliant - you might want to have a google and see if there's one near you.

My dad and brother are both dyslexic - here are some activities they did when they were young (and that either directly or indirectly led to their (very successful) careers):

• photography (dyslexics often have great 'visual language')
• debating (brilliant at overcoming the 'I'm thick' feeling - makes you realise that being able to put an argument together and get your point across doesn't always rely on the written word)
• drama (of the more creative, youth theatre kind)
• dance (some boys admittedly aren't into this, but sell the Billy Elliott angle!)

Best of luck.

I think there is basically a misunderstanding on both sides. Theirs on how much of an issue reading is for him. But from what you said, I would have assumed similar to them despite knowing some very severe people with dyslexia, who would be as bad if not worse than your ds. Because, "don't put on the spot" for reading would be not saying "read this now."
They had (to their mind) given him time to prepare during the other children's speech.
Another time I think maybe asking if someone would be able to read through with him beforehand. If they had read it through with him, how quickly could he learn it (one of mine would take one read through to know it, another would have to spend some time). They could do it with the whole group, explaining how they wanted it acting, which wouldn't be unreasonable.

But then I don't think you had thought through doing a play in a week that is obviously scripted.
Bugsy is going to be hard going in a week (dd1's done it as a performance) and they have to produce a reasonable production at the end or they will get complaints from parents with expectations.

My dc have done various play in a week summer schools and there is a lot of reading. The first day will go along the lines of:
Arrival and welcome.
Learning of first song: This will probably be with handing out of words for them to follow and read as they learn.
Handing out of audition scripts and possibly explaining how they want it interpreted.
Those who wish to audition for a singing part do solos with the song they've learnt. During that they'll be looking through the audition words.
Auditions for those who want speaking parts with the (read) script.
Then lunch while they quickly choose parts.
After lunch they'll give out parts and expect them to read through the words to familiarise themselves.
Then they'll be straight on with the script. That will involve them acting through scenes reading from the script.

When they're not on in the script, they'll often be reading through with each other, helping them to learn the parts. That's not just reading their own parts, they'll be reading other parts if necessary to help others learn them. There is a lot of reading involved as you can see.

If he's wanting to do a show in a week, then I'd look out for one where they'll be improvising. You do get them and they'll be much more along the lines of "You are person A, you are person B, this is the situation:" and they make up the words as to being in character. Just as much fun for the dc, but no reading involved.

YANBU. That sounds crap and even if they made a mistake, they should have realized and apologized. It wouldn't have been difficult to tell you it was a camp with lots of reading aloud if they couldn't imagine how to get around that.

Do keep saying he doesn't read aloud, though - IME loads of people will just take it at face value and it is such a huge weight off your mind if you know you don't have to do it. I think even if you've mastered reading aloud in a non-public situation, to do it in front of other people is hard.

DeWe makes a good point - they left him to read last and, from the description you gave, probably thought this would be sufficient.

Complain. If they weren't clear what adaptation would be needed they should have asked for more detail, and anyone running regular events for groups of children should equip themselves with a basic understanding of dyslexia - it's common enough that it will affect someone in most groups.

For those who've said 'but they let him go last', you don't understand the condition at all. Depending on severity and type he has he may need a lot longer or not be able to work it out just from a written script at all. Even with a fairly mild form trying to get it sorted while you are surround by a crowd of other people all saying the words you are trying to read but at different speeds - that's not preparation time, that's a pressure cooker of stress and confusion.

Once you've explained in more detail, see if they can come up with a plan to make the rest of the week a success. If they can't come up with a plan you both think is suitable then withdraw him - and make sure you get a refund - and find an alternative. If you can both come up with a workable plan then carrying on will, as people have said above, teach him not to give up at the first hurdle and that perseverance can be rewarding; but if he carries on going and it's a disaster then it will undermine his confidence more.

Drama in general is an excellent thing to do, but it does sound as if this is a rather poorly run group for that age. Even without the dyslexia factor there's going to a be a wide spread of reading ability and other skills, and starting with reading a rather dry bit of the script over and over and over isn't going to get everyone enthused. I'd expect the first day to start with a bit of a talk about the story and the time it's set, some improv to get into the feel of the world and to understand the individual characters, and learning a couple of the songs. By that time the organisers should have a very good idea of who's suited to which part and will only need two or three people to read each one for the final decisions.

Oh, massive sympathy for you and your sone, Birdinatent!

Even if you don't complain, I think you need to speak to them again to remind them that though he wants to join in, he cannot sight-read from a page. And discuss with him what he could/should do should it come up again.

I've had similar happen with my son. He can read a handful of words, but not much, and never when pressured. I struggle between leaping in and telling everyone he comes into contact with that he can't read, and stepping back and letting him manage that for himself.

What I'd like, in my ideal world, is for him to have the confidence to be able to say; 'sorry, I'm severely dyslexic. If someone can help me learn the words, I'll say it for you then, but I can't read a page of text.'

Alas, he's 8, and if someone says 'read this!' he doesn't yet think that refusing is an option. Plus, he just wants to be like all the other children and to not stand out as different. So at the moment, HE IS DYSLEXIC AND CANNOT READ AT ALL goes on every form that I write. Even if I have to stick it in the 'any known allergies' line. Mostly this works well, though I have had a couple of people corner me and say 'he really does struggle with the reading, doesn't he?' to which I bite back the retort 'No shit? Really? I haven't been teaching him to read for the past 5 years, so had no clue at all!' I usually just smile and say 'yes, I know. I usually point out that he's dyslexic to people; I'm sorry if that information wasn't passed on to you.' I then point out the many and varied things he can do that he would like to join in with.

YANBU.

All the posters here saying he shouldn't do it etc., should be ashamed of themselves! I study Drama; there are lots of people with needs like this in my class. I am deaf myself. We have to put a production on in very short time, and wherever possible, we are accommodated.

You are paying for a place at the camp. Send your son back, and complain that they are not accommodating his needs.

Lookingthroughthefog Just wanted to defend teachers/professionals etc. I have frequently met children whose statement/SEN info says 'severely' dyslexic and they have been nothing of the kind. (Back when funding was attached to such things.) That may have led to some of the comments you've received.

OP, I don't suppose he brought the script home with him? Could you practise a section tonight so he could show them tomorrow? If it's a professionally run outfit, they will take advice on board and build up his confidence. If not, you should demand your money back and ask to see their inclusion policy. I bet they just agreed to what you said on the phone to get your fee.

How would that work, then - statements are made by people who've got to be highly qualified in diagnosing SEN, don't they?

Teaching is important but isn't it a different skillset, and different qualifications?

The point being. Statement says 'severely dyslexic' 'can read less than 50 most frequently occurring words' or some such. I meet the child and they can read out loud to me, much more than that. The statement isn't wrong, just vague.
Looking said she has to write "HE IS DYSLEXIC AND CANNOT READ AT ALL" Even if I had been told that, I would still make the judgement myself and may be surprised if it was completely accurate.

I would have expected any well run drama group, even one producing a set show at the end of the week, to start by getting to know the children, getting them to know each other, feel part of the group and relaxed with each other- not just handing around scripts and giving parts.

Looking through the fog. What ever about untrained randomers you would have wanted to see my daughters school report. E is struggling with her reading and often seems to confuse words I was thinking ' no shit Sherlock'. Lots of helpful she should try harder at reading comments too. I just said to my husband 'it is the equivalent of sending a reprt home to a child who is visually impaired that she should look harder at the board. I am going to bring the report into her resource teacher and ask her to speak to last years teacher.

I guess rightly or wrongly they may not be set up for anything other than average children? That should be advertised so you can challenge it/ work with them.

I reckon if you talked to the boss this could be very easily sorted out.

I am dyslexic and drama was great for helping me with gain confidence and learn how to read aloud. I would be very upset with the group as they should have said no to taking your son on if they couldn't accomodate him. Forget sending him back. His confidence has been affected and you can't risk it happening again. I would ask for a refund.

I had 1-1 speech and drama lessions because I couldn't read aloud. It took 5 years of a lesson a week and I can't tell you how thankful I am that I had those lessons. During sixth form I was in a small group setting. There were 4-6 of us in a class. I work as an auditor and you need those skills when addressing the audit committee.

It sounds very much as if there has been some crossed wires. It is very difficult for people who don't know a child to understand the limitations that their special needs/disabilities will cause them. Perhaps in hindsight you could have found out more about the tasks and how they could support him. It sounds like they tried their best but their approach didnt work with him.

thankyou all so much for all your helpful advice and support, I was so sad last night, trying to make light of it with him on the one hand, but make him know it wasnt his fault, and that I would support him and make sure they understood if he felt able to go back. Last night he was up for it and we read through his bit of the script and sang the song they were learning, but this morning he was so panicky about having to go again that I decided against it. I know I am probably sending the wrong message about giving up at the first hurdle etc etc but I couldnt put him through it, and it was meant to be a fun holiday experience after all, not something to be endured and worked through.

I do agree that with hindsight a hothouse, week long drama camp was not the best idea for his first experience, and that was my big mistake. He would be much better going to an ongoing drama club where there isnt so much pressure to put a show on at the end of the week. Maybe in time he will be up for that, who knows. I have little experience of all this myself as he is my youngest of 3 boys and his brothers were both just interested in sport, so football and cricket is where my experience lies too.

I feel so sorry for him because he is constantly compared to his brothers/ cousins/ friends and found wanting. He prefers to stay at home playing games on his xbox, because there he is on a level playing field with his contemporaries, but I try my best to get him out and doing other things. I was hoping that his interest in drama could be developed into something that only he was good at in our house, something that he could be proud of himself for.

Anyway, sorry to go on!! its like a bloody confessional this! Instead of drama boot camp, we went uniform shopping, had a lovely lunch out and I asked him if he would cook tea for us all. So he has made us stir fry, noodles and chicken wings, all on his own.....and now he wants to be a chef

Bugger Bugsy eh?

I get what you're saying about the message with 'giving up', and take this with a huge pinch of salt as I don't have kids, but I've taught a couple of dyslexics and I'm dyslexic, and I think there's actually a lot to be said for not putting yourself in a situation that you know will be really stressful and upsetting.

Would it be possible to encourage him to say 'I'm not good at reading aloud', and to feel it's ok to admit that casually. It is a really hard thing to do, but it does sound as if for quite some time he will have this difficulty. The reason I say this is because I still can't read aloud much, especially when I'm stressed. I even get my students to read aloud in class because it's a much bigger stress for me than for most of them. The first few times when I was a teenager, saying 'I can't read aloud very well' made me feel hugely self-conscious (and of course people react to that and notice), but then I got better at saying it quite casually, and if need be, saying briefly that I'm dyslexic and it's something I find hard.

I know it's going to be a balance between managing his stress levels and not making him feel he has to admit defeat .... but it might be an idea to think about?

It's nothing to be ashamed of, after all. It is just a mechanical skill he is less well equipped to deal with than most of his peers, through no fault of his own.

I am so sorry to hear that your son had such a bad experience. As a "theatre mum" I am on the side of not giving up. Ok, so he didn't find the week long intensive situation worked for him. So next step, is there a local group he can join?

Let him know that many actors with similar problems to him have made a successful career for themselves and there are ways around the reading, as detailed in earlier posts. Most drama groups would start with games, confidence building, improv. By the time they get on to script work he would feel much more confident and if they were aware of his reading issues they could easily make him feel more at ease.

A local theatre group, with a sympathetic leader, would be brilliant. Ours runs for weeks/months doing improv, songs (but all learned together, not scripts) and then a show every 6 months or so in which you could easily learn the stuff at home/by digital tape/prepare in advance. But much of the activity is improv/puppets/masks/fun games and if you let them know no reading aloud in classes, it would be fine, very little of their work depends on this except learning song words/parts prepared in advance every now and again.

There are sooooo many actors with dyslexia, as someone else said, google the dyslexia association and look at the list. Heaps of well-known actors have dyslexia.

Also, the documentary by Kara Tointon (thanks everyone) is great and I really encourage him to watch that, perhaps when he's a bit older.

Sorry it didn't work out this time, but don't give up on it.

I'm so sorry to hear your ds had such a rubbish time, birdinatent. I do think it would be worth looking around for different holiday courses another time, though. DD's bf is severely dyslexic, and really couldn't read at all when she was 10.

They've done a couple of drama courses together - one was a week long course where the children put together, rehearsed, and put on a show over the course of a week. The other was a circus based show. Neither required any reading/writing ability.