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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to consider living next door to my MIL?

73 replies

SuperFlea · 26/08/2013 15:40

MIL is lovely but can be quite overbearing sometimes, she's quite loud and chatty. I get on with her great but wouldn't want to spend lots of time with her. Currently we live about 5 miles away and initially we were concerned she would be "popping round" all the time. As it happens, she hasn't and only does so every now and again. (We are a drive away though).
A house has come up for sale just a few houses down from MIL, lovely house, great potential, cheap and in the village location OH idolises.
You can see the house from MILs!

Would you want to live so close to your in-laws?

OP posts:

Happiestinwellybobs · 26/08/2013 17:35

No no no! I was in the same position about 12 years ago. She was fine, we got on well, spent a lot of time at their house etc. But thankfully we didn't. We live a mile away and that is too close. Her overbearing ways (which I could cope with then) turned into a complete and utter nightmare when DD arrived.

We would not have had a moments peace if we had lived there. (Well we didn't really when DD came along, but that is a while other thread).

LookAtTheTwain · 26/08/2013 17:37

I would. It'd be great, she has a lovely big garden and two young teenage boys from her current 2nd marriage that are the best uncles ever to my DC. I'd love it.

My own mother though.. not a chance.

It all depends on your relationship.

tiggerishtom · 26/08/2013 17:37

We live opposite my MIL and whilst we don't have a good relationship with her anymore, I don't think this has be caused by the close proximinty.

BUT we can't really tell what has caused her to bahave badly/crazy/nutrotic towards us. A theory is that because she can see us all the time, she contantly over thinks everything, where If we were out of site we may be out of mind.

skyflyer · 26/08/2013 17:38

Not in a million years.

breatheslowly · 26/08/2013 17:56

No - when I was small we moved house and I think it was primarily due to living too close to my GPs.

Dackyduddles · 26/08/2013 18:03

;)

ladymariner · 26/08/2013 18:06

Think it all depends on your relationship with her, tbh, and you definitely need to have a chat regarding 'boundaries' but if you all get on well then I see no reason not to.

(nice to read about how people love their mils on here for a change, instead of the usual mil-bashing......even though I detest mine )

SeaSickSal · 26/08/2013 18:15

I loved my MIL but wouldn't have lived next door to her. It's too close to live near anyone you know unless they are someone really, really close.

I say this as I used to live in flat below a very good friend and we are now no longer friends.

MissStrawberry · 26/08/2013 18:16

YANBU to consider it but you need to be realistic about how it would work. Talk to your DH about what you would and wouldn't want. Then discuss with your MIL. You never know, she might not want YOU living so close!!

WantedGSOH · 26/08/2013 18:22

I've done it.

Don't do it.

You can tell from my name

flossy101 · 26/08/2013 18:37

God no!

Inertia · 26/08/2013 19:35

I would happily live near my MIL. She is lovely and wouldn't be overbearing though.

How likely is your MIL to respect your family's boundaries ?

ipswichwitch · 26/08/2013 19:44

Not a chance. But then again I would not want to live that close to any of my family, in laws, out laws or otherwise. I do love them all (even when they are hugely irritating) but I value my privacy and I know MiL especially would comment endlessly about what time our curtains get opened on a weekend, what we're doing in the garden, what time we go out, and so on. Step dad would comment repeatedly about the state of the garden.

yourcruisedirector · 26/08/2013 19:54

In your situation I would, with some guidelines.

We're about to move within a mile of PILs - they were 200 miles away, moved about 15 miles away from us to help with their gc, and now we're moving to their village. They're going to help a lot!

catsrus · 26/08/2013 20:12

I lusted after the house next to PIL - MIL thought it wasn't a good idea when it came on the market so we didn't buy it. I now live a 10 min drive from her - and she's now an ex-mil - but I would install her next door in a heartbeat or even in my spare room if it wasn't for her evil cat that she adores

The in-law relationship is an odd one, you have to get on with people you might not normally like but you might be lucky and get someone who becomes a friend for life. It really is a case of "it all depends". I struck gold with my MIL I probably stayed with exdh longer than I should have just so I wouldn't lose her as a MIL

RubyGoat · 26/08/2013 20:17

As previous posters have said, check out 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. That was my first thought before I even opened this thread.

I live half a mile away from my MIL & she is still here way too often...

Gracie990 · 26/08/2013 20:28

No no and no.

We live a five min walk from ours...we had a major falling out when we set down the ground rules.

The ground rules were .....you can't pop round without an invite, you can't let yourself in. We don't want to see you more than once a fortnight. they thought we were going to be the waltons

Really don't.

ladymariner · 26/08/2013 20:47

Agree that nobody should just let themselves in to your house, but only seeing your in laws once a fortnight at most seems a bit harsh....

ladymariner · 26/08/2013 20:47

Bugger, presses Post too soon......

A bit harsh if you get on with them....

raisah · 26/08/2013 21:03

No. I lived with them for two weeks & it nearly killed me. We were waiting for our landlord to finish decorating before we moved in.

MickeyMouseHasGrownUpACow · 26/08/2013 21:04

Not if it was the last house in Last House Ville

Hopasholic · 26/08/2013 21:09

I wouldn't even if it was free

She'd drill a hole so she could spy on us

I'd end up doing time.

Gracie990 · 26/08/2013 21:10

:-) were a really busy family. we don't like them that much they wanted to be here every other day, before DC we saw them about once every two months.

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