Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider living next door to my MIL?

73 replies

SuperFlea · 26/08/2013 15:40

MIL is lovely but can be quite overbearing sometimes, she's quite loud and chatty. I get on with her great but wouldn't want to spend lots of time with her. Currently we live about 5 miles away and initially we were concerned she would be "popping round" all the time. As it happens, she hasn't and only does so every now and again. (We are a drive away though).
A house has come up for sale just a few houses down from MIL, lovely house, great potential, cheap and in the village location OH idolises.
You can see the house from MILs!

Would you want to live so close to your in-laws?

OP posts:
eggsandwich · 26/08/2013 16:24

only if there was a moat and drawbridge around the property would I even consider it.

Original poster
SuperFlea · 26/08/2013 16:29

eggsandwich that made me laugh!

OP posts:
Janek · 26/08/2013 16:31

My db lives next door to his mil, he would like to move to another are of the city (ie not far away, but handier for work/school), but i don't think his dw would ever consider it. With hindsight he was naive to move there without realising this would happen.

RNJ3007 · 26/08/2013 16:32

I think I'd rather chew glass...

FriskyHenderson · 26/08/2013 16:45

I wouldn't mind, because she needs some looking after . However I would be intensely irritated at the broadcasting of my every move to SIL and BIL.

So yes, as long as she didnt have a working phone line.

BeTheChangeYouWantToSee · 26/08/2013 16:45

Did it, eternally regret it.

Now exP lives with the crazy ils and all watch us, send a running commentary of what a shit mum I am, and ignore DC in the street when they're with me Confused

Struggling to find affordable house in my area and not entitled to social housing unless we move to a whole new area with crap schools and bad crime rate.

mrspaddy · 26/08/2013 16:48

I love my mil, but privacy and space are invaluable. No, a bit of distance is a good thing.

Toohottohandle · 26/08/2013 17:01

No no no

PrincessFlirtyPants · 26/08/2013 17:03

I'm getting chest pain just thinking about the idea, honestly this is my idea of hell. I wouldn't do this in a million years.

Dackyduddles · 26/08/2013 17:03

Only if it was a grave yard.

perplexedpirate · 26/08/2013 17:03

Absolutely 100% no. Could be a free house, I still wouldn't.

MortifiedAdams · 26/08/2013 17:05

DH lives up the street from his MIL, and we only see her when we pop into her.

WayHarshTai · 26/08/2013 17:06

My parents and brother live a few doors down, middle sister opposite, little sister across the way.

Mil & Fil live a fifteen minute walk away, BIL a ten minute walk, BIL & SIL is more like a half hour walk but obvs still close.

I say go for it. But then we are WEIRD.

Ireallymustbemad · 26/08/2013 17:11

Would never do it. 3 hours away from MIL is fine for me Smile

FondantNancy · 26/08/2013 17:12

Mine are lovely but NO. They wouldn't understand a 'call before you pop round' rule - they grew up in a place where everyone was in and out of each other's houses.

IJustNeedANap · 26/08/2013 17:17

No. Way.

There is nothing in this world that would tempt me to leave in the same street. No amount of money or house. Ever. Ever. Ever

I do hate my MIL

bluecheque4595 · 26/08/2013 17:18

Watch "Everybody Loves Raymond" for this situation playing out. Lol. They regret it.

I lived where I could see Mil s flat from mine and we never regretted it. She was a nice woman who didn't want to interfere so we didn't see too much of each other. But she was always lending things and cooking all the lovely meals for dh I don't like cooking like liver and bacon.

LookingThroughTheFog · 26/08/2013 17:24

I would, but I love my MIL. Also, I worry about the times ahead when she's less mobile than she is now and needs regular visiting.

Thaumatrope · 26/08/2013 17:29

My problem was actually the opposite to most people's worries. MIL wouldn't come to our house. We invited her, of course, and she'd come if it was something special (a big meal for example), but she'd absolutely never just pop in.
A couple of years after we moved away, she explained that she didn't want us to see her as 'always there' in case we tapped her for some babysitting. Confused
So that was nice.

MikeLitoris · 26/08/2013 17:30

I live next door to mine and tbh I'm worried I may have to move away someday.

She is amazing with the dc and never calls in without warning (unless is to borrow something like normal next door behaviour)

Ex mil. No way in hell. My worst nightmare.

IloveJudgeJudy · 26/08/2013 17:31

No, no, no. Don't do it. SIL lives next door to her/DH's mother. It's not worked out well at all. MIL wanted us to when we got married, or at least live in the same village. We didn't. We live about 10 minutes' drive away, which is too near, really.

FrenchRuby · 26/08/2013 17:31

I live WITH my mil. I would happily move in the same street as her. But I get on with her so it would depend on your relationship with her.

StuckOnARollercoaster · 26/08/2013 17:34

I moved in with DP and it's the same street as his parents. At first I thought it was odd but it works well, but I think that is because everyone is pretty considerate. We don't see each other every day or live in each other's pockets, but very convenient when we do want to see them!
Now we have a little girl it's fab - easy for them to see her and so convenient when something crops up unexpectedly. We do have long term plans to move away but will probably hold off while DD is little.
I think the only reason it works is that everyone is considerate, with normal family relations. We don't have any of the toxic behaviours I read about on MN, in which case I'm sure it would be a nightmare!

ConflictDodger · 26/08/2013 17:34

Based on you using the word 'overbearing' to describe her I wouldn't do it.

LillyNotOfTheValley · 26/08/2013 17:35

No way. I love and get on very well with both my parents and ILs but sometimes an ocean between us does not seem distance enough.

If it is likely to become hell on earth, I suspect that it will indeed. Do not do it, OP.

Dacky Grin at graveyard