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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is really lazy?

34 replies

mrspremise · 26/08/2013 15:29

I spent quite a lot of time making a present for my niece and combined the homemade gift with a bought wooden toy to play with as well. The only thanks I have had from parents is a group email, purportedly from the baby to 'dear everyone who gave me a present'. AIBU to think that this is really lazy and bloody ungrateful? I sent individual thank you letters for all the presents my DCs received until they were old enough to write their own. I don't think an email is unreasonable these days, but I would have liked to have been addressed directly. What do you think, should I just have lower my expectations?

OP posts:
PrincessFlirtyPants · 26/08/2013 15:34

YANBU- I agree with you but some people are like that. I once got a black and white photocopy of a thank you card... That was a pisstake.

Sirzy · 26/08/2013 15:35

whatever the thank you it should be personalised whether a phone call, in person or a card/email.

LostMarbles99 · 26/08/2013 15:46

That's incredibly lazy and really ungrateful!

Original poster
mrspremise · 26/08/2013 15:46

Princess Shock That's dreadful!

OP posts:
LostMarbles99 · 26/08/2013 15:48

Also it's really tacky when people send cards from their babies!

Babies cannot write or send cards, don't be so bloody stupid! Write the friggin' card from the parents!

And breathe!!!

ThedementedPenguin · 26/08/2013 15:52

I actually think YABU.

Crikeyblimey · 26/08/2013 15:52

Did you give the gift in person or was it posted? See, to me this makes a difference. Also was it a random gift or for a birthday?

If someone gives me or ds a gift in person, I or he will thank them "in person" there and then. I don't send a card afterwards (why would I? We've said thanks).

If we don't see the person who sends the gift, I usually phone to say thanks.

I don't "do" thank you" cards / notes apart from to elderly relatives or if a random (not birthday / Christmas) gift arrives unannounced.

catgirl1976 · 26/08/2013 15:52

YANBU

That's really rude and lazy

LtEveDallas · 26/08/2013 15:53

Did you have a verbal thank you when you gave the gift?

pumpkinsweetie · 26/08/2013 15:53

Yabu, as a baby cannot actually say thankyou.

pumpkinsweetie · 26/08/2013 15:54

A verball thankyou should be enough

Original poster
mrspremise · 26/08/2013 15:54

Grin Marbles This child sends separate cards to her parents for every occasion! Most of them have her photo on them Wink

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 26/08/2013 15:55

How old is the baby? If she's a newborn her parents may honestly not have the time or energy to sit and write dozens of thank you cards, and I would cut them a bit of slack.

YANBU to be disappointed though. A group email is a bit shoddy.

BaronessBomburst · 26/08/2013 15:56

X-post. That puts a different light on it!

Original poster
mrspremise · 26/08/2013 15:57

I live 100 miles away so it had to be sent. You're absolutely right, a verbal thank you would have been lovely, but this just felt like 'getting it out of the way'

OP posts:
StephenFrySaidSo · 26/08/2013 15:57

did you hand the gift over in person and if so did they say thank you?

StephenFrySaidSo · 26/08/2013 15:59

ah x-post. well if they got lots of gifts then I understand them sending a generic email. at least they sent one! you got thanks, does it really have to have your name on it to be valid?

PrincessFlirtyPants · 26/08/2013 15:59

You could send the same email and just change the name, if you were that short for time! It really is just rude. As I say, some people just think its acceptable.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 26/08/2013 15:59

Actually unpopular opinion here but YABU. You had a thank you - just not in the format that you wanted it.

I understand why it's important to thank people for presents, but honestly I just feel that we should cut folks a break. They have thanked you, consider yourself thanked. If they are not thankful enough, then don't send anymore presents, problem sorted.

ZenGardener · 26/08/2013 16:00

I agree that if a gift is handed over in person then a verbal thanks at the time is fine.

It is also ok to thank by phone.

If you posted the gift then I would just assume the parents are super-busy/stressed out/received an overwhelming number of gifts so I would probably let it drop. They may thank you in person next time they see you.

Of course it is better to thank individually but I wouldn't get upset over it

Sizzlesthedog · 26/08/2013 16:05

I've written all dd thank you cards from her. Oh dear have I committed a mn offence

Original poster
mrspremise · 26/08/2013 16:09

Smile Good for you, Sizzles, clearly you have excellent manners. Sod who you've written them from, at least you've written them! Brew Thanks

OP posts:
confused3331 · 26/08/2013 16:11

I think YABU. I have sent personalised cards before, but recently ive not as find it tough to find the time. but then I am not bothered about receiving thank you cards. I don't even remember if I have received one or not. Surely there are more important things in life ?

meganorks · 26/08/2013 16:12

Agree with crikeyblimey. But in this case as sent YANBU. I had a printed postcard with a pic of baby as a generic thank you which I thought was kind of lazy. Think our names were written on but nothing else.

CaptainCapybara · 26/08/2013 16:19

Oh god I did the photocard with a pic of the new baby and a printed message saying "Thankyou for the lovely present" when DD was born, I didn't realise this would piss people off so much, although nobody complained (to my face anyway).