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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this tradition still about??

94 replies

OctopusPete8 · 25/08/2013 10:51

my dm rang before, becuase I said I haven't put much thought into getting my bridesmaids presents, and she rang up to say . well they need one really, so she said she'd get something.

And to talk to my florist mate as the Mothers b/g get a bouquet on the day???
I've never seen this???
Aibu to think this must not happen anymore much?

OP posts:

LondonInHighHeeledBoots · 25/08/2013 21:15

I'm giving my bms their jewellery as their present, and for the mothers we are dispatching an usher to boots with an sd card with a nice photo of us and the mother in question and putting them into nice frames and that will be their present. totally pinched this idea from a wedding I went to a while ago!

I think we'll also send my parents on a nice holiday after as they've done si much for it all. mil hasn't so she just gets the photo.

liquidstate · 25/08/2013 21:31

I just wrapped up the bridesmaids necklaces (£3 in the sale from M&S) that they were to wear on the day and wrote a nice card for them.

For the mums I didn't get bouquets because we had a lot of fresh flowers at the venue which they took with them the next day. Instead I ordered a plant for the garden called 'wedding day' which cost £8 and arrived nicely wrapped.

But honestly don't feel you have to get anything if you don't have the funds. A lovely card would be enough.

selsigfach · 25/08/2013 21:52

Both mums had to stay over and travel for our wedding. I arranged for flowers to be sent to my mum when she got home. my mum had helped loads financially, decorating etc. MIL offered no help whatsoever and grumbled about the date - how could she possibly get a room in August? I didn't get her any flowers as a thank you as she hadn't done anything to say thank you for.

Original poster

OctopusPete8 · 25/08/2013 22:49

I'm getting thankyou cards for all guests anyway. well day guests.
some good ideas here.

OP posts:

Original poster

OctopusPete8 · 25/08/2013 22:50

The idea of my mum buying flowers , that I end up giving back to her grinning inanely is hilarious .

OP posts:

OhDearNigel · 25/08/2013 23:00

I work in a hotel and I've never seen a wedding where the Mums didn't get bouquets

Xmasbaby11 · 25/08/2013 23:33

Yes - flowers to both mothers. Gifts to bridesmaids. It doesn't have to be anything huge. I bought mine necklaces and wrote them cards thanking them. It's a keepsake of the day and a thank you for taking part.

Original poster

OctopusPete8 · 25/08/2013 23:39

would wine be better than flowers?

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 25/08/2013 23:41

Yes,the mums always get flowers.

BackforGood · 26/08/2013 00:18

If you read the thread Valium - you will see that there is no always about it. It's quite common, but certainly not "always". In fact, thinking about it, the two wedding Receptions I went to last year, it didn't happen at either.

raisah · 26/08/2013 00:53

Yes, it is mainly to say thank you to all the kind souls who had put up with your diva behaviour! I got my mum a sari & my b/ms jewellery from this place called Bees.
www.shopbees.com

lastnightiwenttomanderleyagain · 26/08/2013 07:37

I gave the BMs earrings and DH gave the best men pocket watches (bit of a family tradition - DH wears his a lot but then he does wear a three piece suit well skinny git)

For our mums we adapted the tradition slightly and gave them a David Austin rose each. They each send us photo texts when they're in bloom! There are normally enough spare flowers drifting around after weddings anyway (people were instructed to.leave with our centerpieces which were vases of roses) so we wanted to give them something that would last a bit.

SilverApples · 26/08/2013 07:52

DD has several small pieces of jewellery from her bridesmaiding days.

Original poster

OctopusPete8 · 26/08/2013 08:18

lol I'm not even remotely a diva, esp. with BM's I've had to be tougher in order to get things done.

my mum/mil maybe.....I advised told them to buy a certain colour so they would look better and more co-ordinated in the photos .

OP posts:

SHarri13 · 26/08/2013 09:58

The bridesmaids got a necklace that they wore on the day but we didn't do bouquets for the mothers (3 as I have step one in there too). We did get the three sets of parents gifts though, restaurant vouchers for two and a print for their wall for another. A present for them both to enjoy.

thegreylady · 26/08/2013 10:05

The groom gives gifts to the bridesmaids etc. As mum I have been given jewellery twice, flowers twice and nothing once :-)

valiumredhead · 26/08/2013 12:36

I did read the thread. The OP asked if this was tradition or not. It IS tradition, whether you choose to follow it or not is entirely up to you.

marriedinwhiteisback · 26/08/2013 13:39

You told your mum and mil what colour to wear !!!!!! I know times have changed but that's awful - they need to wear what they feel happy wearing.

Floggingmolly · 26/08/2013 14:33

Why on earth do your mum and MIL need to co-ordinate in the photos??
It won't "look better" at all. Why not make everyone wear a uniform and be done with it? Something dead classy like Team Octopus" t-shirts maybe?

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