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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be mad at things people say when you announce you're expecting?

40 replies

Littleen · 24/08/2013 23:13

I'm just feeling really frustrated with the things people come out with when I tell them I am pregnant.

My boyfriend started off, saying
"hey, you're not sick, you're just pregnant" - yes! But hell, I feel pretty sick here I am retching every minute of the day, and I am utterly knackered too!
(Got him a pregnancy book for blokes, and after he read it he has been more understanding. If he said it again, he'd get a slap :P )

Then, I decided to tell one of my good friends, whom I've known since we were born -
"oh my god, you're going to be in so much pain in labour! What if you have a nightmare birth experience like XYZ and have an emergency c-section? Or you rip? oooh my god, you will hurt so much! Get an epidural!"

Then yesterday, I told my older sister (who has no kids or any wish to have kids)
"Let's hope it's not allergic, so you have to get rid of your cats!"
"Was it planned?" (it was)
and then
"Well you never know, my friends baby died inside her the day before she was due. So you're never really safe, you don't know it'll be okay. It could go wrong any time."
(I am extremely anxious as it is, so really not the best of things to say..."

I just don't feel like telling anyone now. Dunno what to do? Just wait until it shows perhaps, because I can't deal with any more ignorant or inconsiderate comments! Would a simple "congratulations" be too much to ask for? >

OP posts:
MohammedLover · 24/08/2013 23:15

Congratulations :)

trashcanjunkie · 24/08/2013 23:15

congratulations Grin

Boosiehs · 24/08/2013 23:17

Congratulations!! X

CointreauVersial · 24/08/2013 23:17

Congrats!

And chill. You've got months of this to come; just don't let unthinking and tactless people burst your bubble.

LoopThePoop · 24/08/2013 23:17

Congratulations!

LookingForwardToVino · 24/08/2013 23:19

Congratulations! Grin

( I tend to find people very rarely have sensible replies to the 'I'm expecting' comment. Hell, dp just spits out his drink Wink )

Littleen · 24/08/2013 23:20

Well thanks guys :P I just haaate, and I mean hate, the idea of this for the next 6 months!

OP posts:
Famzilla · 24/08/2013 23:26

Congratulations!

Get used to it though, the negative comments never stop. At the end of your pregnancy it will be how hard newborns are, then how horrific teething is, then how upsetting going back to work is (if you do), then the toddler stage etc etc.

People love a bit of doom & gloom.

You won't give a shit though cause your baby will be the most amazing thing ever.

DanicaJones · 24/08/2013 23:37

God you certainly have some tactless friends/family! Congratulations!

WorraLiberty · 24/08/2013 23:41

Congratulations Thanks

I have to say though, you know some very odd people.

I've had 3 kids and have never experienced anything remotely like that

So there's hope for you yet Grin

Littleen · 24/08/2013 23:59

I'm just going to keep quiet until it is so obvious I can't hide it :P Should give me a little bit of peace and quiet at least!

OP posts:
marriedinwhiteisback · 25/08/2013 00:05

But all the other people you know might be more sensible. Congratulations btw. And it needn't hurt at all there's a little modern trick called an epidural

...... So, early March :)

JockTamsonsBairns · 25/08/2013 00:16

Congratulations!

Strangely, one of my closest friends asked who the father was Confused . I've been married to dh for years, and it was our second child. Odd.

VisualiseAHorse · 25/08/2013 00:26

One of my close friends asked if my boyfriend was the dad. HE WAS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

VisualiseAHorse · 25/08/2013 00:27

O, and congratulations?? I'm very jealous, I can't wait to be pregnant again!

GroupieGirl · 25/08/2013 00:29

I've told this on here before, but one of my customers asked me if I knew who the father was.

Yes. Now fuck off.

MummyPig24 · 25/08/2013 07:20

Congratulations! Ignore the negative comments and enjoy the positive!

My dads response to me telling him I was expecting dc2 was "oh bloody hell!" He came round in the end! We have our scan for dc3 on his birthday and he is supposed to be coming over for dinner so I'm not sure how to tell him. But ultimately it's good news, and so is yours, so anyone being negative can piss off!

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 25/08/2013 07:39

Congratulations! And ignore.

With dc1 the first person I told (because I poas in work and was shellshocked) was a coworker who sat by my desk. He said "omg how are you going to poo for the next 8 months? Aren't you afraid it's going to push the baby out into the toilet?"

I'm still not sure whether he was trying to be hilarious, or if he actually had such a faint grasp on women's anatomy. Hmm

MooMa42o · 25/08/2013 07:49

Not quite the same thing but shortly after i had my DD & pregnant with my DS a "friend" said to me "i always thought i wanted to have children but having seen what it has done to your body i think i will adopt"....i just didn't have the words to reply!...

Littleen · 25/08/2013 09:25

Goodness! Glad I'm not the only one with utterly tactless friends and family. Atleast I've (so far) not had anyone ask who the dad is!

OP posts:
BlackholesAndRevelations · 25/08/2013 09:34

I've had lots of "are you mad?!" and "was it planned?"

How rude! It may be the third but yes it was planned, if you mean did we have sex without using contraception which when you think about it, is quite a personal question!!

And we may well be mad but it's done now.

Anjou · 25/08/2013 09:35

Congratulations!

As other posters have said, there may well be lots more to come, sadly. In my experience, it's usually associates/colleagues rather than friends that come out with the corkers. I was asked several times by people I'd previously considered polite, mature adults "Was it planned?" Shock What do they expect you to say?! In the end I started saying "no, my husbands condom split. Nightmare. My mums going to kill me". (I've been with my husband nearly 20 years and I'm in my mid thirties). If they thought I was being snippy I just blamed it on pregnancy hormones - and their bloody stupid question! Grin

Lweji · 25/08/2013 09:35

Congratulations! Flowers

I had only someone say that he had noticed a bump but thought it was just a fat belly (I was very much underweight then).

And -now ex-H was manifestly underwhelmed (kind of Oh, yeah?), while watching a game. After I had taken the whole day planning to tell him, and over 2 years to get pregnant.
With hindsight, I should have divorced him there and then. With any luck he'd never have got attached to DS and we'd now live happily without him on the background.
But I digress.

DontmindifIdo · 25/08/2013 09:38

Congratulations!

I was asked "how?" - now, I'm not sure how to answer that, are they suggesting I'm too pig ugly to shag or was this someone in their 30s who didn't know where babies come from? I answered "er, had sex..." with a "WFT?" look on my face...

VikingVagine · 25/08/2013 09:39

Congratulations!

If it makes you feel any better, my "D"M said she'd drive me to the clinic to get a termination when I announced she was going to be a grandmother.

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