to be mad at things people say when you announce you're expecting?

[Littleen]

I'm just feeling really frustrated with the things people come out with when I tell them I am pregnant.

My boyfriend started off, saying
"hey, you're not sick, you're just pregnant" - yes! But hell, I feel pretty sick here I am retching every minute of the day, and I am utterly knackered too!
(Got him a pregnancy book for blokes, and after he read it he has been more understanding. If he said it again, he'd get a slap :P )

Then, I decided to tell one of my good friends, whom I've known since we were born -
"oh my god, you're going to be in so much pain in labour! What if you have a nightmare birth experience like XYZ and have an emergency c-section? Or you rip? oooh my god, you will hurt so much! Get an epidural!"

Then yesterday, I told my older sister (who has no kids or any wish to have kids)
"Let's hope it's not allergic, so you have to get rid of your cats!"
"Was it planned?" (it was)
and then
"Well you never know, my friends baby died inside her the day before she was due. So you're never really safe, you don't know it'll be okay. It could go wrong any time."
(I am extremely anxious as it is, so really not the best of things to say..."

I just don't feel like telling anyone now. Dunno what to do? Just wait until it shows perhaps, because I can't deal with any more ignorant or inconsiderate comments! Would a simple "congratulations" be too much to ask for? >

My father in law's reaction to our news (first grandchild, that he has been pressuring DH about for years) was " remember, there is still plenty that can go wrong"

He hasn't improved. On trying to check that our car seat would be compatible with his car, he said " oh, we all survived without any of that nonsense".

Most people are lovely though, congratulations!

I think I'll just stare blankly next time someone tells me they're pregnant.
After reading all the complaints about pregnancy announcement comments on MN I decided to just say "congratulations" when work colleague told me she was pregnant. My usual comment used to be a tentative "are you pleased?" which would have been better as she promptly burst into tears and went off sick with stress. Turned out pregnancy was unwanted

Gah! Some people really need to not just say the first thing that comes into their heads. I had a friend gleefully tell me how awful labour was (she's never had any children)... thanks.

Anyway. Congratulations.

Congratulations!

I had a friend that called me every day to tell me about different miscarriage stories.

When I told my boss she made an 'ewww' noise with a look of utter disgust on her face. But she is a vile bitch so...

I'm amazed at what some people think is appropriate to say! My brother and SIL both asked if it was planned when we told them

We've been together for 10 years, married for 3, have a lovely home and are lucky enough to have good jobs.

Ermm yes, yes it was planned. When we mentioned getting married and having a family of our own was something we'd like to do, we we're making it up.

I'm afraid OP that IMO the comments just get worse. Everyone likes to comment on your size! I got 'Oh you are big/small' in equal measure! oh and the well meaning advice! "Don't do any heavy lifting!!!" I was carrying a small polystyrene box FFS!

I got lots of insensitive comments too although noone asked who the father was. Me and dp work at the same place and it's common knowledge we're together. He's also massive with a big spike in his lip and looks a bit intimidating when he's pissed off so noone dared!

When people tried to tell me their labour stories I politely told them to shut up. Just because they've experienced something doesn't mean you will. I ended up saying if you've nothing nice to say then I don't want to hear it. It worked most of the time!

And the stink eye I used to get when drinking a coffee! I should have had a massive flag tied to my head saying 'ITS FUCKING DECAFF"

Congratulations!
I've had all sorts of annoying comments to. A lot of 'was it planned?' Which I find to be a really rude question.
Also when we told my step mother in law & a friend (both separately) thy both told me they 'knew' that that was what we were going to tell them because of women's intuition, which is frankly bollocks. We'd not seen either of them in months & never really talked about having a family in front of them. They were either lying or they always been assuming we were going to tell them I was pregnant every time we've seen them & just got lucky that time!

Hahaha Sleepy!

I actually got tired of it in the end and just leant over to the next table to tell the two women throwing me 'those' looks.

Sleepybunny mine isn't decaf fuck them

Congratulation OP!

I recently announced my 2nd pregnancy and one of my dad's mates at the pub said "Oh it'll be like shelling peas this time then"....Thats easy for him to say!

I don't know why people do it. I have actually said to the last few people who have told me they are pregnant 'rather you than me lol' and they have laughed to but that's because I nearly died just after my last child was born and I could never get pregnant again as it would kill me. Luckily I have 3 beautiful children so I don't mind.
I guess some people don't engage their brain before their mouth starts going lol.
Don't be offended by it, pregnancy evokes lots of different emotions and feelings in people and even if you have never been pregnant it can send fear through the strongest of people.
Congratulations and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

congratulations OP

and yes i agree re stupid things people say...it will continue throughout your pregnancy and until the child is grown up IME :o

I got "Was it planned?" x100
"Do you know who the dad is?"
"Are you still with the dad?"

Oh, the power of a reputation

And my dad who said "No you're not! [laugh]"

Congratulations!

Ignore these killjoy people. A lot of people dh's horrible family we told made our news all about them....not one congratulation between them!

And smile and nod when told how painful/difficult/sleep deprived things are....you will have a gorgeous snuggly newborn and that beats everything

People view things in different ways, what is bad for one person isn't for another...my ds rarely sleeps and is teething badly right now....he's my first and I'd have another one of him anyday....the joy far outweights the bad.

From what other people said I thought I would hate leaving him in nursery but I see him enjoying it and developing so well and it's really not that bad. You get a hot cuppa to yourself at work

I found out who really cared about me when I had ds and who didn't...people.can be horrible and unnecessary.

Enjoy your pregnancy and.your.snuggly newborn

Hehe wow... Well I am glad I don't like coffee!