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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off that DP thinks it's ok to go to Oz without us?

54 replies

lovelilies · 24/08/2013 19:17

Background: DP and I live together, with my dd from a previous relationship. We are expecting our first child together in January.
Dp's brother lives in Australia but I'd moving back to UK some time in next 6 months. DP's father works for an airline and can get the family (ie not me and dd) 'cheap' tickets to Oz for about £600 return. DP wants to go with his parents to see his brother in November for 12 days, I would rather DP, dd and I went away together somewhere... DP knows I can't afford full price to Oz (he earns about triple my salary) and says he can't afford to pay for me and dd too. He did say he'd go halves... but I don't even have that if I saved every penny Sad
it's not that I mind him being away, I just find it unfair that he can jet off wherever he likes and dd and I can't...
For example, this year he has already been to Oz, Hong Kong and Singapore alone on separate trips, together we have been to France, and a weekend in London.
AIBU to think he should think about the whole family and not just himself?

OP posts:
BobbyGentry · 25/08/2013 04:52
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TobyLerone · 25/08/2013 05:25

I'm on the fence too.

I don't automatically think that because you live together/are married/have a child, all money should immediately be 'shared, family money'.

I don't think I'd make a fuss about the Australia trip. I'd probably make it clear, though, that once the baby arrives, regular solo trips like this (if for pleasure, not work) are no longer ok.

GrandstandingBlueTit · 25/08/2013 06:06

Well, we're at the other end of the world, and DH has a solo trip planned (air miles one way) back to the UK next month.

I have no issue with him going (well, I'm a little bit jealous, but otherwise fully supportive!).

But this isn't what it's about for the OP, is it?

My DH and I fully split our family finances, and one of us doesn't expect to live the life of Riley, taking perks here and there, that the other can't partake of.

YANBU. The current set up, as it stand, is him taking the piss on a pretty blatant scale.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 25/08/2013 07:11

How are finances going to be dealt with whilst you're on maternity leave and not earning? Will he still be expecting you to pay half of everything when you get smp?

I wouldn't necessarily object to my DH going to Oz if it's to see family but I wouldn't be happy about him jetting off to Singapore etc. you should either be doing these things together or doing something cheaper that includes all of you.

You need to talk to him, stop backing down as very soon you'll find yourself on maternity leave with little money whilst he still finds it ok to travel the world. Why are you doing all the housework too.

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