To think that jumping to a person's defense

[MrsLouisTheroux]

Is very noble and all that but is very irritating at the same time.

I can fight my own battles, have my own disagreements, make my own judgements and don't particularly welcome others butting in in a misguided attempt to 'stick up for me'.

I see it quite a bit on here between posters. One will appear on a thread out of nowhere and contribute nothing to the conversation orher than some random comment in defense of their friend.

Why? Leave people to have their own discussions/ disagreements. smells of sucking up to me

Pag Is the angry face because it infuriates you. Did you tell them it was inappropriate? yes and yes! :)

I didn't mean that entirely, Isla - just citing my own experiences really.

People often jump in in any situation, just, they rarely do it to defend me!

usual I'm talking generally, I haven't got a current thread in mind.

I think that sometimes any poster whose name is well known can post something that I disagree with, I can say so but I have seen replies like "Oh xxxxxx always speaks sense/is usually right" - not always.

See I'm a case in point - usually I'm as eloquent as fuck but my good luck if you managed to make any sense out of my last post. I know what I meant to say if that helps!

I once got a PM inviting me to come to a thread. I didn't know them, didn't recognise who they were and it was on,try third day Was very odd.

I had no idea people posted other people to join them on threads. How extraordinary.

PMed them, I mean.

The arse licking that used to go on is less than it used to be.

It tends to be the threads about certain subjects that bring the usual suspects wading in to try to shut up anyone who disagrees with their opinion and the opinion of their friends.

Porn, body part shaving and odd one's like wearing panty liners (this one has got better) etc.

Ahhh MrsLouisTheroux. Then that would annoy me too.

Wow! I can't believe people get pm'd to come to a thread.

I agree with usual.

I've always defended you, usual

What on earth would be the point of sucking up to people on here? How does one differentiate between thinking someone is right, defending someone who's being unnecessarily raked over the coals, and sucking up to friends? I'm quite that anyone would get their mates over onto threads to back them up.

Panty liners?

That being said, I probably avoid most contentious threads anyway.
I don't come here for a fight

^

isla I am almost certain there are people who come on MN specifically for a fight

I did not know the true meaning of the word "goady" until I joined MN 2 months ago!

Are panty liners a contentious issue?

"isla I am almost certain there are people who come on MN specifically for a fight"

No there aren't.

And I'll deck anyone who says otherwise.

I guessed they did.

But I think what usually happens is that a thread is constantly at the top of the most active list, and that attracts attention.

Also,apparently there are Facebook posts about MN which alert people.

People do accuse of this when it doesn't happen too.

Someone will start a thread saying something like 'kids with SN should be hidden away', it's in active convoy and unsurprisingly parents of kids with SN see it and come on thread being annoyed separately.

Then someone always makes digs about gangs and getting your friends to come to the thread, but it hasn't actually happened like that.

*convos not convoy...silly iPad

Agree with Birdsgottafly though. It is a lot better than it used to be.
Some people have the same interests, and like to stick together. You cant blame them for that.

I'm billy-no-mates on here, it does feel quite cliquey, if people have a history and make like they know each other so well, probably like in RL!

Going back to the OP, MrsLT I think psychologists have given it a label (as only they know how!). They call it "rescuing" - the incessant need to leap to someone's defence. Its as if they are depriving the person of their own ability and initiative to sort things out for themselves, making them a "victim" who only the rescuer can help. I agree it can be frustrating!

Trouble is, as with most things, there are grey areas. The converse is (depending on the situation), sometimes it takes guts not to walk away, not to turn a blind eye and to stay and help rather than not get involved. It takes judgement to know when backing someone up becomes "rescuing".

Its a bit like the old chestnut of grabbing an old lady's arm, frogmarching her across to the other side of the road, whilst she is trying desperately to say "..but I dont want to cross the road!" But of course the person was doing it for her own good .