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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want the midwives to do something?

42 replies

ruledbyheart · 24/08/2013 08:54

I am really sorry if this comes across as very "poor old me" but I am at a loss and really don't know what to do.

Im 40+5 weeks pregnant and I cannot take anymore, midwifes wont do a sweep until I am 41+ weeks and cos of the bank holiday I have to wait another day on top.

I'm desperate to have this baby now and I have tried absolutely everything to help but not so much as a twinge.

The issue is I have severe SPD coupled with back problems caused by an accident 10 years ago, I am genuinely in agony and haven't slept more than 2hrs unbroken for 3 months now, everytime I move in my sleep I am woken with pain and a sickening cracking sound in my hips and pelvis.

The midwifes don't seem to take me seriously but I really really can't take another night of agony, is there anything I can do?

AIBU to want the midwifes to do something other than saying I'm fine see you in so so days?

OP posts:

fuckwittery · 24/08/2013 09:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JakeBullet · 24/08/2013 09:12

Midwives generally have to adhere to the rules the hospital set for them so am guessing that's why they wouldn't do a sweep.If the midwife did one and caused problems then she'd be in trouble for not following the policy.

Thing is that the less overdue you are, the more likely it is that your cervix won't be favourable for a sweep.....sometimes waiting until 41+ means it has more time to soften up ready.

Is this your first baby?

If it isn't then the chances of doing a sweep are easier in which case you could ask if the hospital will do one. Be prepared for them to say no though because if they cause a problem then you are in hospital which has a skeleton staff and everything takes longer to get sorted. That's isn't right by the way but just how things are which is why they won't induce etc at weekends or night unless its an emerge DH.

JakeBullet · 24/08/2013 09:15

emerge DH?....I meant "emergency" lol.

But yes.....speak to the hospital about things, you are in pain and at the very least they might be able to help you decrease that pain.

The end of pregnancy can be so hard ....without SPD to contend with too.

Hope it isn't too much longer for you.

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 24/08/2013 09:36

Its my 4th baby and the others were near enough on time with no problems and no SPD.

Who would I phone at the hospital to see if they can do something as I only have my midwifes number and labour and delivery?

OP posts:

bigbutsrus1 · 24/08/2013 14:17

Pretend you are in labour - get examined - pretty much the same as a stretch & sweep

Daisypod · 24/08/2013 14:26

I had reflexology when my 4th was overdue by 3 days, waters broke that night. I don't usually believe in things like that but I was willing to try anything too. even if it doesn't work it was a lovely 40 minute foot massage! Worth a try.

pianodoodle · 24/08/2013 14:34

Clary sage did it for me that was at 2 weeks overdue though. Maybe if you just turn up at the maternity they would give you a sweep?

fuckwittery · 24/08/2013 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkdelight · 24/08/2013 14:42

IME (sweeping generalisation alert!) midwives have an extremely high threshold for what constitutes agony. If you're coherent enough to tell them you're in agony, they assume you can cope fine. It's not till you're completely out of your mind that they take a blind bit of notice of you.

Hopefully you're not in Croydon/Mayday though and will have better luck!

MortifiedAdams · 24/08/2013 14:46

Tell a porky and say movements have stopped? Go in for monitoring and ask them to do an internal as you are getting stabby pains?

IsThatTrue · 24/08/2013 14:51

I kinda did my own sweeps at home, if you can reach your cervix it might be worth a go. Make sure your nails are short and hands clean though.

this is not medical advice, if you do not feel comfortable do not do this

funnyossity · 24/08/2013 15:05

I was in a similar sounding state and asked/begged midwife to ask the doctor in charge that I be allowed an induction, this was agreed for a week before due date. Having that date in the diary helped me cope.

Keep asking and good luck.

BinksToEnlightenment · 24/08/2013 15:11

I also took matters into my own hands, like IsThatTrue. Et voila - baby born on due date. I do appreciate that it's not advised due to the risk of injuring yourself, but after nine months of hell, I simply didn't give a crap.

DropYourSword · 24/08/2013 15:12

I wouldn't lie and say you think you're in labor to try to get examined because apart from anything else it probably won't work! They wouls know you're not contracting, and there wouldn't them be a need for an internal. Same for saying about reduced movements, they will monitor you for that but not do an internal. Agree with jakebullet that they have to work to a set of rules that they can't bend. It wouldn't be that they don't care, or don't appreciate that you're in pain, but they can't change what they can and can't do. BUT if you go into hospital and explain how bad your SPD is and get reviewed by a Dr, THEY may be able to let you have a sweep.

Very best of luck to you, hope it all goes well!

numbum · 24/08/2013 15:14

'Tell a porky and say movements have stopped'

Please tell me people don't actually do that?? Pretty vile thing to lie about

gertrudetrain · 24/08/2013 15:21

With DS1 I'd had full pg hyperemesis and low bp and anaemia so nothing serious but aculmaltive grottiness. I went to see a consultant (he was quite young) at 40+2 and said I need inducing because my antenatal depression is getting very severe and my thoughts are scaring me.

It was true btw, I am categorically not saying to lie, but if you can push the mental stress of pain from SPD over the physical they tend to listen more as in pregnancy and labour physical pain is par for the course but mental distress is a big red flag. I was booked in for induction within 24 hours. I was young, very vulnerable, single with previous MH problems so I'm sure this had an impact. SPD has a high comorbidity with antenatal depression, not saying you have it at all but you do sound very much at the end of your tether Op, you poor poor thing.

GrandPoohBah · 24/08/2013 15:27

Ah, pinkdelight, sounds like you had a similar experience to me at Maydie... Fun times indeed.

woollyknickers · 24/08/2013 15:30

I feel the need to point out that, particularly in a first pregnancy, the earlier an induction is started the less likely it is to work, and so the more likely a c-section will be. If your body's not ready for labour, its not ready. Plus, as someone else said, hospitals usually have policies that staff have to follow regarding timing of interventions, like sweeps.

OP, it's probably worth getting in touch with labour ward due to the pain and discomfort - hopefully they'll review you and plan from there. Why "tell a porky and say movements have stopped"? If you go in for monitoring for that, then the real issue of SPD pain won't be addressed will it?

PearlyWhites · 24/08/2013 15:34

Op phone and ask to the hospitals consultant midwife they should be more help.

jammiedonut · 24/08/2013 15:45

Poor you, it must be awful at the moment :-(
I know this is the last thing you'll want to hear, but unfortunately a sweep at any time is no guarantee to get things moving, let alone done too early. They will try to keep you waiting to see if labour will begin spontaneously as ultimately this is more likely to result in less intervention for you, which is in everyone's interests, especially yours.
Ill keep my fingers crossed that it all starts for you soon.

Finola1step · 24/08/2013 15:53

Would you consider acupuncture? I was 41+6 and vv keen for baby to arrive. Hospital was wanting me to go in the next day to start induction. There was no sign that this baby was on its way. Had the accupuncture, on feet and hands late afternoon on the Saturday. Contractions started 2am that night, baby was born in birthing pool at midday on the Sunday.

There's no harm in googling your local acupuncturist and seeing what they can do for you.

DropYourSword · 24/08/2013 16:01

You could also look into moxibustion.

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 24/08/2013 16:01

Well I phoned the hospital explained how much pain I was in and asked to see someone and was basically told that because not in labour they weren't interested in helping.

Finola funny thing you saying that as I thought sod it I have to do something to get this baby out today as cant stand the thought of another night not sleeping due to my pelvis, and ended up on an acupuncturist table with needles in my hands/feet and head - fingers crossed it works as I am beyond desperate now.

OP posts:

Pinupgirl · 24/08/2013 16:08

I really feel for you op. I had to have c section for my last 2 dcs and I insisted on having them at 38 weeks. I have had previous losses-very late ones and the pregnancies were long enough as it was what with the hospital stays,stress and worry. No way could I have gone to 41 weeks-you are a hero! Hope something works for you.

StrangeGlue · 24/08/2013 16:10

Pinkdelight and grandpoohbar mayday is an amazingly shit hospital!

Op - would the drop on docs or a&e do anything like give you appropriate pain killers?

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