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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want the midwives to do something?

42 replies

ruledbyheart · 24/08/2013 08:54

I am really sorry if this comes across as very "poor old me" but I am at a loss and really don't know what to do.

Im 40+5 weeks pregnant and I cannot take anymore, midwifes wont do a sweep until I am 41+ weeks and cos of the bank holiday I have to wait another day on top.

I'm desperate to have this baby now and I have tried absolutely everything to help but not so much as a twinge.

The issue is I have severe SPD coupled with back problems caused by an accident 10 years ago, I am genuinely in agony and haven't slept more than 2hrs unbroken for 3 months now, everytime I move in my sleep I am woken with pain and a sickening cracking sound in my hips and pelvis.

The midwifes don't seem to take me seriously but I really really can't take another night of agony, is there anything I can do?

AIBU to want the midwifes to do something other than saying I'm fine see you in so so days?

OP posts:

Finola1step · 24/08/2013 16:13

Oh good luck ruled. If nothing else, it might help you sleep a bit better tonight. There is of course the old trick of having sex (if your pelvis feels up to it!). What gets them in, gets them out and all that.

Finola1step · 24/08/2013 16:14

And keep us posted.

CakesAreNotTheAnswer · 24/08/2013 16:57

another one wishing you luck

idiot55 · 24/08/2013 17:23

Sending some hugs xx

peppinagiro · 24/08/2013 17:28

Good luck OP. I really, really sympathise. My baby was born at 40+5 back in June, after a miserable SPD-filled pregnancy. I dont think I'd slept more than a couple of hours at a time since month 5, like you. It is so, so miserable and wearing, and the midwives really don't have a clue. I was in tbe same position as you where they told me to wait until 41+1 for a sweep, but I burst into tears at the news, and thankfully the midwife had had SPD herself and felt sorry for me, so checked with her boss and gave me one anyway! I really hope things get going for you. At that stage every extra hour is a torment, and nobody understands - i was close to murdering the next person who jollily told me to 'make the most of it' or 'get plenty of sleep now while you can'. So I shall say neither :) and rest assured, having a newborn baby has been difficult, but a million times easier and less miserable than being pregnant. So it will get better. Xxx

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 24/08/2013 18:02

Thank you everyone followed the acupuncture up with a clary sage bath and a curry so keeping my fingers crossed, to be honest I just want to be able to sleep for more than 2 hrs without being woken by my hips cramping up or cracking although having a baby right now would be great too.

Thank you so much for your post Peppinagiro it's nice to know someone knows exactly how I feel.

OP posts:

MakeGlutenFreeHay · 24/08/2013 18:10

It's a horrible time - I was 2 weeks over with both and soooo uncomfortable with ds especially. Reflexology really helped me relax and certainly made pre-labour cramps more intense (I think it helped get labour started with dd). Might be worth a try of nothing happens tomorrow. Best of luck.

primroseyellow · 24/08/2013 18:17

I heard Mayday had bad reputation for obs/gynae back in late 70s, depressing to find same after so many years ......

Jackanory1978 · 24/08/2013 20:08

The nice guidelines state a multigravida lady (Someone who's previously had children) can be offered a sweep from 39 weeks. However each hospital writes their own policies and most say 41 weeks for a sweep.

But the vast majority of mw/drs I know would give a multigravida patient a sweep once she's reached 40 weeks regardless of what the hospital guidelines say. I've found that new/inexperienced mws tend to be very much of the opinion that they must stick exactly to the hospital guideline & are really scared to deviate from it, even if it's obvious that it would make sense to (such as in your case). Drs & experienced mws use their common sense & don't stick quite so ridgedly to the policy.

I would definately give you a sweep (but you realise that's no guarantee that you'll labour? Even with a sweep it can take up to 72 hrs to work, so don't pin all your hopes on it. I had a sweep at 40 wks & delivered at 40+10. Plus it depends on the person doing the sweep, some people are more vigorous ie. Effective than others.)

I'm an obstetrician by the way!

MikeOxard · 24/08/2013 21:01

Just wanted to say I've been there too, overdue and awful SPD, you have my sympathy. Hopefully baby will decide tonight's the night. I was told that a sweep will not work unless you were going to go into labour within the next 48 hours anyway. (But then I was told all sorts of bollocks, who knows if that's true or not?!)

Have you tried Evening Primrose Oil? Pop a casule or two right up there, it softens the cervix. If you can reach, you can even break a capsule and massage the cervix with the EPO and try to do your own 'stretch and sweep' type thing. Good luck with everything. x

Bearandcub · 24/08/2013 21:18

Demand to speak to the consultant in charge/ on call, raise a complaint with PALS and ask them to refer it to the Director of Nursing of the Healthcare Trust. Tell them you will raise merry hell until someone contacts you.

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 24/08/2013 22:07

Thats interesting to know Jackanory, I am going to see how tonight goes and will be phoning the midwife again first thing and will use the information and see if they will relent.

I understand a sweep may not work but would at least like the option to try as I am in a lot of pain.

Ive been using evening primrose for the last week but unfortunately no effect on me yet

OP posts:

peppinagiro · 24/08/2013 22:12

Whatever you do, dont try having sex. I did, and the dragging and yanking and cracking of my SPD-ravaged hips was bloody agony. And it didn't even work. X

babybearsmummy · 24/08/2013 22:39

I went over with my dd and on the 3rd day I'd had enough, I had similar problems and can totally empathise. Sorry if this next bit is TMI but o.h and I had an early night that night and I asked him if he'd have a quick feel of my cervix to see if it was low or hopefully slightly open. Which he did, and said it felt like he could get a finger tip in there... Well it must have triggered something as I woke up at 12pm (4hours later) contracting every 2 mins lasting a good 1-2 mins. My l.g was born at 5.09!

So if you and your partner are feeling brave, get him to was his hands and have a quick prod! Lots of luck xx

babybearsmummy · 24/08/2013 22:41

*wash his hand sorry

fuckwittery · 25/08/2013 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NapaCab · 25/08/2013 00:26

Push to see a consultant. That's what I had to do as I was 40 + 6 and it was heading into the weekend. They wouldn't start induction until the Wednesday and I was DESPERATE to get things going. Midwife was a complete cow to me so I pushed to see a consultant and he bumped me up a day to the Tuesday. If you have SPD etc s/he might take pity on you though, you never know!

In the end DS started moving on Sunday and arrived on Monday so all was well with no need for induction. You'll have your baby soon too!

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