To want to sleep in same bed as ds forever

[Pinkpinot]

Well, until he doesn't want to anymore
He's nearly 6
We've been away for a lot of the holidays, so shared a bed
He's so lovely and snuggly
And still wants to cuddle his mummy
Even though he's told me he hates me a couple of times this week

Also my area of work means I have met a lot of adults with scarily unhealthy attachments with parents that I would rather not replicate

Can you say more about this custard ? i'm intrigued

Its total bullshit that sharing a bed till a bit older will cause all manner of problems.

I have many examples of where everyone ended up completely 'normal'

This is one. I have some relatives that let their son share the bed ( when he wanted to) till 14-15!

He is fine.

He has had girlfriends.

Now he is married with 2 children of his own , I think he is about 28.

Maybe its because he was breast-fed till 4?

that was mainly for beagles.

YANBU.

He will be big soon and not want to share with you.

My 10yo came into my bed every night for ages...he never does now.

Enjoy it while you can.

I don't believe for one minute that there's anything wrong with it. I just don't. I think we are meant to sleep in big, happy, family heaps. There's surely a reason why for so many people (I do appreciate not all) it feels so good, so happy and relaxing, to sleep child / parent, or sibling / sibling.

If you think about it, it's odd that current convention has the two adults of a family sleeping together while the smaller family members are off in their own rooms and expected to sleep alone, until they grow up and meet someone and then are expected to sleep with them.

Enjoy it while it lasts. DS2 used to sleep with me most of the time and I really miss it and treasure the memory. He was er ... older than 6 when he stopped.
He's a hulking six footer now but still does great hugs except that he picks me up and swings me round

Biologically there is nothing normal about human babies and children sleeping separately from their mother. Mother, baby and children together for food, safety and warmth. Father somewhere around. No wonder it feels so good to have our babies in bed with us.

Ds age 5 usually comes into bed with us at some point around 4 am. Ds age 2 is happy enough in his own space, but i usually end up in with him having a snuggly morning feed and snooze. We have a massive bed, left over from sleeping all four of us to a bed for nearly the years.

DD(12) will still sleep with me if DH is away!

When DS1 was born other mothers seemed to be putting babies in their own rooms at 6 weeks. To me it felt wrong. I think when parenting you should do what feels right for you.

justwondering... but... maybe the reason we did used to all sleep together was necessity rather than it feeling nice as such. It was a practical measure, exactly as you've outlined. Not necessarily pleasant per se, but sensible. We don't all need to sleep together for food, safety or warmth any more here. It's not the dark ages. We have evolved. We have Tescos. Brick-built houses (with alarm systems). Central heating, 10 tog duvets. Electric blankets.

I'm never a big fan of using past times as a measure of how good it used to be.. probably life was shit, back when families had to huddle together for food, safety and warmth. I bet Mrs Cavewoman wished her offspring had a (safe, warm) cave of their own so she could get some downtime with Mr Caveman. For all we know.:)

I didn't co-sleep but still share with one Inferiorette or other - they have to take turns now they're bigger - when their father is away.

Mind you the very expression Couple Time makes me feel faintly sick...

I love when my little DSs share my bed. One slightly more than the other though. One's super snuggly but the other kicks the covers off, grinds his teeth and talks in his sleep. The latter does wake up and tell me he loves me though while he's still all sleepy so that makes up for it ALL.

Ahh where else does a mum and a child belong... sounds bit biblical but I totally believe the best sleeps for all concerned are when all our primeaval instincts are set to rest with our baby (even at 17!) beside us at bedtime. zzzz. Cots? Not a chance!

Dh is out tonight and staying at my brother's house.
Ds1 7 nearly 8 yo asked if he could sleep in my bed and I can't wait for cuddles, we're going up soon.
know it won't be long before he grows out of it though :(

^^I spoke too soon with my earlier post. No cuddles for me, he's changed his mind about sleeping in my bed, I guess he's grown out of it

We are at my mums, so another week of cuddles, then back to his own bed, to get ready for the school routine
Making the most of it, don't worry

Oh yes, I love cuddles with my little ones, especially my 3 year old who strokes my hair at night. That sends me off to sleep!

I too could think of nothing worse.
I don't even like sleeping with dh.

Would love my own king sized bed with pristine sheets instead of sharing. Dh won't contemplate separate rooms as his parents did (and we haven't got a spare room anyway) i relish time away on my own in big beds.

I used to enjoy the dcs coming in bed for a morning cuddle, and ds 14 occasionally still does that.

No way. Sleeping alone is one of life's unsung pleasures.

Good posts from cloudkitten

I have seen with quite s few of my friends the scenario where prolonged co- sleeping ( age 4, 6 and up) was what mum wanted, but have not yet met a DH who lived this arrangement.

Very often, behind this set up, is a mum who feels she gets a lot more love and affection back from her kids ( a child's love of its parents is unconditional) than from her DH, and a father who can feel sidelined and wishes he could share his bed with his wife again.

Would be interested to know some men's opinions on this actually

Our DD is 2 and both DH and I adore having her in the bed. She used to be in with us all the time but lately likes being in her own bed. I'm so glad she's enjoying her big girl bed but both DH and I miss her in the night. She does sometimes runs in to us in the early hours of the morning and when she does both DH and I are really happy to have some family snuggles.

We also nap with her as a family or individually if we've had a bad night for whatever reason.

It's not affected our marriage at all, we're incredibly happy together and both adore our DD equally. She's not at all overly attached to us, she is very independent in the day time.

Even in my early 20s, if I stayed over at my parents house I would sometimes sleep in the same bed as my mum and snuggle. It was lovely and I always cherish the memories (mum died last year).

So co-sleeping isn't always about bad marriages and overly clingy kids. It's about families who enjoy being with each other.

I'd like to point out when I was pregnant I was SO against co-sleeping and was very judgy about those who did. I quickly ate my words when I realised co-sleeping saved our sanity in the early days when DD was a terrible sleeper.

We have our DS's cot fixed next to our bed with one of the sides off, that way me and DP can still cuddle and DS can cuddle during the night as well if he wants to.
He normally sleeps in his cot without any issues, but when his teeth are hurting him or he has a bad dream he rolls over and finds me :)
I guess I have the best of both worlds. DS is 16 months now but will be keeping it like this till he gets better at self settling.

I love getting cuddles from the 2 men in my life.

To the poster above who asked about a mans opinion on co-sleeping I can tell you my DP's. He was never happy with our DS sleeping in the middle of us. He hated being kicked in the back by the baby and hated the lack of intimacy between us.

So we compromised and moved the cot into our room.

Works for both us of now.

Well, if a woman's not getting affection from her partner perhaps he should tackle his own behaviour rather then feeling 'sidelined' by a baby...?

Just ftr, we don't co-sleep usually, it's just because we've been away from home for a lot of the hols and that's how it's worked out.
We are normally all in our own beds
But dh is a pAin to sleep with and I have a much better nights sleep with ds

I don't want to be cuddled or held or kissed, or a big heavy leg draped over me
I don't want to be woken up every morning when he goes to work
I just want to sleep