To want to sleep in same bed as ds forever

[Pinkpinot]

Well, until he doesn't want to anymore
He's nearly 6
We've been away for a lot of the holidays, so shared a bed
He's so lovely and snuggly
And still wants to cuddle his mummy
Even though he's told me he hates me a couple of times this week

DS is 7.5 and still sleeps in my bed regularly and will continue to do so as long as he is happy to. I made the mistake of saying so in work once and I was basically told I was some sort of weird pervert but to be honest I don't care he's happy and I'm happy.

ds is 8 and when dh is away he comes and sleeps in my bed, i ask dd if she wants to too, but she's older, 11 and says ewww no when it comes to sharing with her brother.

My DD is 12 and just (2 weeks ago) stopped sleeping in my bed! Her Dad left us when she was 2 and I'll be honest for the first year it was for my benefit not hers. We moved when she was 4 and she has always had her own room but I let her choose where she slept. For the last couple of years I have been reminding her she has her own room but she said she likes being with me and I knew that when she was ready she would move herself. We have the best chats when snuggled up together and as it is just her and me it is a very special time for us.
I redecorated her room over the holidays and she has now decided she wants to sleep there. Very bitter sweet emotions but it is just a new phase of our relationship. I guess it would have been different if I had had more than 1.
By the way she is very independent minded young lady and not clingy at all!

Forty, I had that reaction from my Mum and the odd friend who knew, so we just said she slept in her own room! A lie I know but I'm just not prepared to keep justifying my parenting choices.

It would be physically impossible for me to share a bed with my DD and actually get some semblance of sleep.

She's only 18 months but she fidgets, moves, wiggles, throws her limbs about. I woke up once with her backside on my face as she was sleeping horizontally across the pillows. I also regularly get hit in the face or kicked in the chest.

She has also started sleeping talking. Well sleep babbling.

For my own sanity she stays in her own room!

At risk of being seriously flamed. I really can't see the benefits of sharing a bed with DC!

I like sharing a bed with DH, it is enough for us to put up with each other's thrashing about, snoring, farting. I wouldn't want to inflict it on DC. Also, if we want to DTD then we can't if DC in bed with us!

I have two female colleagues both with DC aged 6 and 7 who have both said that they still sleep with their DC and have done since birth. One rarely gets a good night sleeps, she's got health issues and is often uncomfortable, the other says she doesn't like going to bed without her DD 'snuggled up' with her.

1st one, i often whether colleagues DC manages to get a good night sleep or not and the second one I often think that this colleague is sleeping with her DD to meet her own needs rather than DD.

Surely the sleep requirements of a child and an adult are different and sleeping in the same bed means someone is going to get disturbed?!

I am all up for morning cuddles though. :)

My DH has been away with work. I've been indulging in some lovely snuggly cuddles with our two DCs guilt-free.

Although I do often wake up in DC2's bed after going to resettle him in the middle of the night and falling asleep myself.

My 10 year old DS loves cuddles. I LOVE cuddles with him. I want him to stay little forever (if I could have boxed him up at the age of 6 I would have)

If I am honest I would just love a huge bedroom with a 20ft bed where we could all snuggle up. I think id sleep so well! Bollox to the clingy rubbish. Who so you think would have problems with relationships more, someone who's been cuddled lots or abandoned as a child? Duh.
They soon throw you out, enjoy the cuddles!

Glad you had nice holiday cuddles. I'm slightly jealous, first night away me and the kids they both didn't sleep until in the double bed with me. I ended up on kids size single. Then the second night ds slept with me and wet the bed.

Not my idea of fun!

I don't know a 6yr old who doesn't wriggle and squiggle and throw the covers off and turn through 360deg at least three times in the night, not to mention occassionally slipping entirely towards the floor and pulling back in again, eventually ending up with head at foot and feet on pillows (or up the wall).

Give me Dh any day!

Such a genuinely sweet thread ... (unusual on MN, no?!)

As for myself, I love cuddles too! My 10 year old is still my own personal hot water bottle come bed-time.

He still loves to start the night out in my bed, but since he was 6 and grew so tall and fidgety, I do kick him to the kerb to his own bed at some point in the night, as he's all arms and legs; that way I get a good nights sleep. He goes to sleep in my bed usually, and wakes up in his own! So I get the best of both worlds .

It works as long as it works and when it doesn't it will be a little sad goodbye.

I work full-time and study, too, so couldn't imagine not sharing a bed with my daughter. I love the hour before bed- cuddles and musical bears and stories until we both fall asleep. Magic.

She's not quite three, though.

I come from a culture where letting children into your bed is far more accepted than here. So I tended to go with what was normal for me rather than what the HV's told me was normal. Hasn't made any difference to ds that I can see: he is a perfectly normal, lumbering, semi-grunting teenager.

But I found the quality of sleep was far better with small child than with adult dh. Obviously not a longterm solution since they don't stay small. But now and then when I was desperate for a good night's rest, I was not sorry to see a small figure appear by our bedside. Dh moves around far more and is far noisier.

I love cuddles with my DS (a rarity with him being a fidgety 8m old) but I would never share the bed with him. My bed is for me and DH to snuggle in and DTD when we please.

Also my area of work means I have met a lot of adults with scarily unhealthy attachments with parents that I would rather not replicate!

Just to add, I realise that co sleeping is not the only thing the adults I mentioned had experienced, didn't mean to imply it was such a horrendous act!

I don't think scarily unhealthy attachments come from one individual thing, like whether you sometimes share a bed or not. Otherwise a large proportion of the world's population would have unhealthy attachments, seeing that invididual bedrooms is very much a Western phenomenon.

But no doubt in a culture where a certain behaviour is frowned on that behaviour can sometimes be a sign that the person is also not following other societal norms- sometimes in ways that might be damaging. So sometimes a symptom, if not a cause. But not necessarily even a symptom- it might just mean that they came from a different culture (like me) or followed a different parenting style.

I would love it.

DD (3) has never come into our bed even for a few minutes. When I wake her in the mornings I sometimes get into her bed and we lie there and have a cuddle. It's flippin' lovely.

My four year old still co-sleeps.

Has done from the day she was born. She starts off in her bed now but ends up in mine.

Dh has his own room as he snores due to some heavy meds and I have insomnia so it's just me and DD. Me and Dh always go up at the same time and we cuddle and stuff in his room or mine before we go to our own rooms so we still get plenty of time with it being just us.

DD told me she was going to sleep in bed with me even when she is married

My 14 year old slept with me until he was 7!! he is far from clingy. He is very independent and wouldn't dream of sleeping with me now

My 10 year old sometimes gets into bed with me too. He has panic attacks since his dad was diagnosed with cancer so if he gets one during the night he just gets in with me.

I must be weird then because I couldbt think of anything worse. The occasional times that either dd has ended up in bed with me I barely slept at all. They get hot they wriggle I pull duvet up they pull it down and when I do finally drift off I'm woken minutes later with feet wedged into my head.

I dream of a large double bed To myself and a spare room for dp cos he keeps me awake too. All of us would be hell
.

[freak emoticon ]

Wheresmycaffeine, you are talking about my dh, surely?

The whole point of having the children in bed was that they would absorb the shock from his trashing about and with a bit of luck spread so far his side that he wouldn't have room to lie on his back and snore. They were the only good nights' sleep I had. Now sadly gone.

My ds is 19 and still will come in and jump in my bed and lie down Says he prefers my duvet and pillows although his are identical!

He does these weird jerks, or snores like a frickin drill, or sometimes even rolls over onto me in his sleep. And on top of that he bloody overheats the bed. I could not be dealing with him and the kids. I'd rather sleep in the shed :o

yes when little. at now 23 and 22 both over 6foot and built like brick shit houses and hairy.. not so much really.