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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just go and sit in A&E tonight.

51 replies

Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 21:34

I have a long and complicated history of MH problems. I have been well for about 5 years, graduated got a job, got married, etc.

Occasionally I have times when I suffer so much I want to die. They don't last long (1-2 days).

I asked my husband to give me a cuddle, I was crying so much, but he just sighed and then turned his back on me. My mum is lovely but I can't go to her as she would worry so and I don't need to feel like a burden right now.

I have no one I can call.

I can't even get out of this bedroom we use as a living room for a drink because I can't face a conversation with my inlaws.

At this point A&E on a Friday night even sounds more comforting than feeling trapped in this tiny room in someone else's house that's dirty because I've been lazy the last 2 days.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 23/08/2013 21:36

there is someone you can call www.samaritans.org/ - please do - you know you can get well with support

I am sorry your DH is being so cruel - if it's the only thing that WILL help please DO go to A+E x

Original poster
Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 21:37

I support him so much and he let's his fear of me being unwell make him into a cruel and cold person. He is really kind and loving but as soon as I get upset he runs for the hills. I need his support so much.

Maybe a nurse in A&E might talk to me. I just want a cup of tea and a hug :'(

OP posts:
Original poster
Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 21:39

Thank you gordysheep. That is helpful.
I'm not not well, I would never hurt myself again I'm just in a lot of emotional pain.

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 23/08/2013 21:39

If you feel unsafe then you should go.

Sorry your DH isn't being the support he should be.

MrsHowardRoark · 23/08/2013 21:40
Brew (((Hug)))
fuzzpig · 23/08/2013 21:41

It sounds very claustrophobic - are you living with your ILs or is it a 'holiday'?

Can you get out for a walk?

Beastofburden · 23/08/2013 21:41

A&e will be busy, this is Friday night. It may be less supportive than you hope. Ring the Samaritans. And do ring your mum, perhaps she will worry but she loves you and will give you that tea, a hug, and a reminder that you can get through this.

FootOfOurStairs · 23/08/2013 21:42

Unfortunately, A&E on a Friday night will probably not be able to offer you the space to talk that you are looking for. If you feel unsafe, then they are there, but it sounds more as though you need emotional support. Can you try again to talk to your DH, or ring your own family? Or the Samaritans?

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 23/08/2013 21:43

Love, it does not sound right that you are trapped in a room in someone's house with everyone waiting around for you to clean it up whilst you are unwell. Please go to a&e. someone there will help you and make you safe and comfortable. You don't need to feel so sad and alone xx

MisselthwaiteManor · 23/08/2013 21:44

Call your mum, you are not a burden. I'm sure she would want to comfort you if she knew how you were feeling.

Original poster
Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 21:45

Been here for 2 years, saving up for a deposit. Bit dark and cold out for a walk.

Your right A&E might just be a nightmare. I wish would ring mum but even after 6 years she looks at me with terror in her eyes and asks me if I'm going to try and kill myself. She is anxious enough, I can't worry her.

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
sneezecakesmum · 23/08/2013 21:45

As an ex A&E nurse my idea of drunken hell is A&E on a friday/saturday night. Any night frankly. And as for MH services in A&E you can expect to wait several hours before a MH nurse will see you and hopefully a psychiatrist too Sad. If you are known to MH services do you have the number of the emergency team? They will see you at some point. The emergency out of hours doctor will see you if you can attend an appointment centre. The samaritans will listen but are not there for practical advice and it doesnt sound like you have much privacy.

A&E is OK if you can cope with the idiots there and maybe just getting out of the house is what you need, so maybe not such a bad idea after all. Hope you get some help, it sounds like an awful situation to be in. Either way, see your own GP asap.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 23/08/2013 21:47

There are lots of us here to talk to.

It sounds like a bit of a miserable existance. I cannot believe your husband did that to you :(

How long are you planning on living at the inlaws for?

Do you have any friends you could go and stay with?

If you have anywhere else you could go, I woudln't worry about the inlaws, I'd just walk out of the house.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 23/08/2013 21:49

I can understand why you don't want to worry your Mum, but on the other hand, she is your Mum and would probably be very upset to know you haven't called her to spare her feelings x

You have been at the inlaws for TWO YEARS? I'm handcrafting you a medal Grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 23/08/2013 21:50

How far away does your Mum live?

Cuddlydragon · 23/08/2013 21:52

Please do go to A &E if it will help. Warm warm hugs meantime.

MisselthwaiteManor · 23/08/2013 21:53

Vent here if you want to, we're all listening. I want to shake your husband, I can't believe he denied you a hug.

Original poster
Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 21:53

Thanks guys,

I'm not sure I'm known to services anymore. I used to live in A&E! But I got better. I'm not a danger to myself I'm just suffering so much.

I don't need my gp or meds or therapy, I've had it all, what I need is my own space at 28 years old and a husband who is able to give his crying wife a cuddle.

We put an offer on a house so hopefully in month or two we will be out! Smile

No friends to stay with, I lost all my friends when I was crazy, then put all efforts into getting qualified and a joband my marri

OP posts:
Original poster
Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 21:55

*marriage. I have mates just no one I could call at 10pm at night.

Mum lives 10min drive away. I see what your saying with going to see her but I've put her through enough.

OP posts:
Original poster
Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 21:56
OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 23/08/2013 21:57

Unfortunately, as much as the advice is "Go to A&E if you feel you are a risk to yourself", the reality is you will sit for hours in a busy room, then be seen by someone who is less than sympathetic, then wait a few more hours if you're lucky enough to be told to wait to see MH teams. It's shit, and it shouldn't be that way, especially when it's the advice you're given, but it tends to just make things worse if you're already feeling crap.

Sorry.

Keep talking here. Do call the Samaritans, and find out if there is a mental health services OOH line in your area (some trusts are rolling them out currently). I really hope you feel better soon. And that you H stops being an arse.

Maryz · 23/08/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 22:02

I guess I should have explained "I want to die" better. At this time I do, but I would never hurt myself. I'm not suicidal as such I just have a few days a year when I think it would be easier if was not here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Buddhagirl · 23/08/2013 22:04

maryz I could do that but then all 4 parents would want to know why and my husband would think I was being dramatic.... And I'm hoping this will be ok tomorrow and I can have a half decent bank holiday. I hope so. I don't choose to feel like this.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 23/08/2013 22:08

Why don't you go to your mums but tell your husband and Inlaws that it is because she feels ill and wants you to stay tonight , that way its only your parents that need to be told that you just need some breathing room .