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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think husband is lying

67 replies

Arnie123 · 23/08/2013 13:31

Husband quit smoking a year ago but recently I have seen him with a few crafty cigarettes. I have offered support and got him to see the doctor who gave him patches. Today I went to see him while walking the dogs and he had a packet of cigarettes the normal brand he buys on the pram. I quizzed him about it and he said he found them on the floor and picked them up. I do not believe this as he is registered blind and is someone who drops litter rather than cleaning up. I am aware I am being a control freak but I am really worried about smoking around my son as he has had one cot death already. Do you think he is lying?

OP posts:
pianodoodle · 23/08/2013 15:59

I found Allen Carr's book helpful maybe buy him a copy from Ebay?

ilovesooty · 23/08/2013 17:13

There are far better places online for supplies than most local shops. If he is interested in the Ecig idea why not research it together online and look at a forum such as AAEC - a lovely supportive and informative forum - so that he can make an informed decision?

seensomuch · 23/08/2013 17:21

he probably is lying because he doesnt want to look like a failure, at the end of the day he will only give up if he wants to , no amount of nagging , moaning or talking about will help if he is not in the right frame of mind to quit yet .

SeaSickSal · 23/08/2013 17:30

YANBU. Yes he is lying. But he has every right to smoke if he wants.

What he doesn't have the right to do is to make your son breathe it in.

Tell him you know he smokes and just tell him not to do it round the kid.

If he knows you know he will be able to go for a fag when you're with the baby rather than taking the baby out so he can have a fag.

mrspremise · 23/08/2013 17:31

I gave up easily because I wanted to. My hubby doesn't want to, so it's really hard for him. Make sure he stays outside to do it, or ask him agree some limits you could cope with? At least he's not smoking while the children are in the car with him like I see parents doing near the school where I work, that drives me potty!

CoteDAzur · 23/08/2013 17:37

What do you mean by "... worried about smoking around my son as he has had one cot death already"? Shock

ginmakesitallok · 23/08/2013 17:38

AAEC board I've been using ecigs for nearly 10 weeks now, haven't wanted a cig at all. Plenty of online vendors, AAEC has discount codes and lots of helpful advice.

ilovesooty · 23/08/2013 18:03

Thanks gin couldn't link on my phone. I've been using Ecigs for a couple of months and don't want to smoke again either. The forum is such a help.

ginmakesitallok · 23/08/2013 18:56

~tries to work out who sooty is on AAEC~

~fails~

ilovesooty · 23/08/2013 19:35

I was going to do the same gin!

LimitedEditionLady · 23/08/2013 19:39

Why does he need to lie about it?I have an e cig and i think its fab because i actually have got to the stage that i rarely smoke it and rarely get cravings to.

Original poster
Arnie123 · 24/08/2013 19:57

I found another pack on him so I went and bought him the top of the range e cig and he massively prefers it to smoking! He is really happy now

OP posts:
WMittens · 24/08/2013 20:01

DuelingFanjo

"he's blind and he takes the dog out walking and you're worried about him smoking?"

I think blind people are very diligent dog owners, whenever I see a blind person they're walking their dog.

In fact, it's so common I wonder if there's some link between being blind and owning a dog...

Original poster
Arnie123 · 24/08/2013 20:02

He wanted a guide dog but his mobility was so good with a cane they said the guide dog would slow him down

OP posts:
OldMacEIEIO · 24/08/2013 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

FobblyWoof · 24/08/2013 20:13

Wow, duelling

Nice. Apparently blind people can't be parents? Can't take thier children for a walk? Without causing worry it seems. What a spectacularly idiotic view. Perhaps you should educate yourself (like the fact that the majority of blind people do infact have some level of vision, and, shock horror, most have the cognitive capacity to be able to risk assess for themselves without someone worrying) before you post such flippant remarks.

FobblyWoof · 24/08/2013 20:15

Well fuck. The spelling mistakes in that really took the wind out of my sails. Sorry if my post sounds too harsh- it's just views like this make my piss boil

ginmakesitallok · 24/08/2013 20:15

Oldmac, sorry I don't get your post at all???? I've got an ecig and am very happy now too??

ginmakesitallok · 24/08/2013 20:17

Oh, and ilovesooty, thanks to autocorrect I've told olive and sooty who I am on AAEC.

Original poster
Arnie123 · 24/08/2013 20:18

I have reported old mac s idiotic post. Shame there are backwards trolls using this website but that is what happens when someone incoherently bangs their knuckles and forehead on a computer keyboard

OP posts:
OldMacEIEIO · 24/08/2013 20:20

gin.
let me explain...

you have a bloke married to a control freak. the bloke is doing stuff that makes him happy. very happy. then the control freak finds out, blows a fuse and makes him change his behaviour. Then she come here like some sort of super hero, 'I sorted him out, now he's happy'

he was happy in the first place. leave the poor sod alone. then he wouldnt have to lie

Original poster
Arnie123 · 24/08/2013 20:22

He actually rated smoking as a 4/10 and the e cig as a 10/10 and having lost relatives to cancer I am just doing my best to protect his health

OP posts:
OldMacEIEIO · 24/08/2013 20:25

arnie, get real. look at your opening post. what he is telling you and what he actually thinks and does are two different things.
thats the real problem

ilovesooty · 24/08/2013 20:26

So you just went out and purchased his ecig without doing any research with him? You just bought "the top of the range" one - whatever that might be in a local shop- without him having any input?

gin I'm even more confused now... Grin

ginmakesitallok · 24/08/2013 20:27

I see it differently oldmac. Op's husband has tried to stop smoking, didn't manage it. Op has now given him an alternative, with which he is happy. Win win.

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