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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell friend not to bother actually.

33 replies

Alisvolatpropiis · 22/08/2013 19:29

Ok I am genuinely annoyed and might need some perspective on this.

Close friend has been complaining for a while that she misses spending time with me and dp (all get on well). Invite her round for dinner tonight, is agreed she will come rooms straight after work to save faffing. Finishes at 5, works 15 mins away from where we live.

At 5:45 I give her a call to see if she's been held up at work. No. She was on the phone to the bloke she was seeing, now meeting friend for a drink. Meant to text me but forgot.

I feel a bit narked at this point, not least because she was pleading poverty earlier on in the day. She eventually offers the explanation that other friend has split with her boyfriend and is quite upset. Ok fine. Friend then tries to get me to invite other friend round. I don't on the basis she can't eat the meal planned and it would be a bit awkward for my dp to meet her for the first time when she's upset.

I tell my friend we had planned to go for a drink before dinner but hadn't been able to due to her not actually letting us know when she would be arriving. She apologised and said she would be with us soon.

This was an hour ago. She is still not here.

AIBU to think she is being incredibly rude and to want to tell her to not bother coming round at all?

I appreciate other friend is upset. I would be less annoyed if friend had just said "look can we reschedule, she's in a bad way" than leaving me hanging.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 22/08/2013 19:31

Very rude of her not to keep you informed.

Put her dinner in the dog.

Salmotrutta · 22/08/2013 19:31

And go out.

FruOla · 22/08/2013 19:33

YwouldNBU to tell her to forget it, then you and DP enjoy the meal that you've planned.

She is BU.

shazbean · 22/08/2013 19:34

I'd be pretty annoyed but I'm also a bit of a weed so I'd probably eat my dinner and keep hers warm in case she turned up later but assume she isn't going to IYSWIM.

But it would be a very long time before I ever asked her again. Very bad manners on her part.

Justforlaughs · 22/08/2013 19:35

I would be just as annoyed as you BUT maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and wait until she does turn up/ gets in touch and explains before totally losing the plot. I'd probably eat my meal and send her a text saying that you are down the pub if she would like to meet up later on.

kinkyfuckery · 22/08/2013 19:35

YANBU. Tell her not to bother.

Play it by ear as to whether you try to rearrange or not.

Original poster
Alisvolatpropiis · 22/08/2013 19:35

I've called her to tell her what time dinner will be ready, she's around the corner apparently. dog is devastated

The thing that annoys me the most is she's been saying how skint she is. And then goes out for drinks with somebody else. Merrily using me as a food station.

Too late to uninvite her now. Shockingly poor manners. Going to have to do my best not to have slapped arse face for the rest of the evening.

OP posts:
oldgrandmama · 22/08/2013 19:36

Shocking manners.

steth · 22/08/2013 19:37

Let her turn up then just don't bother answering the door

shazbean · 22/08/2013 19:38

Hope it's beans on toast Grin!

YouStayClassySanDiego · 22/08/2013 19:40

Do the slapped arse face anyway then come back and tell us all about it.

Ignore her future moans about poverty.

CuppaTeaForTheBigFella · 22/08/2013 19:40

I see you have already called her now...Personally I would have bitten my tongue and sent a text along the lines of "your friend obviously needs you, let's do it another night".
YANBU to be pissed off though, she really should have rang you, explained the situation and cancelled it herself. Pretty shitty behaviour I think.

CuppaTeaForTheBigFella · 22/08/2013 19:42

Oh and I also agree, it's not really great circumstances to invite her friend round for dinner too, if she is that upset?! Confused

TramadolDaze · 22/08/2013 19:42

Blimey. That would have me jumping up and down OP and having a slapped-arse face for the rest of the evening. Lights out, curtains drawn and note on door "Sorry, gone away" - crack open the ice cream, chocolates and vino and go overboard on the lot!

Mia4 · 22/08/2013 19:49

YANBU OP, call her and find out exactly where she is. She may be rushing on her way or the cheeky moo bag might be taking liberties and having 'another quick drink'.

TheOrchardKeeper · 22/08/2013 19:50

Just don't bother again op

I bloody wouldn't!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 22/08/2013 19:52

Rude!

diddl · 22/08/2013 20:13

I would have told her not to bother at 5.45!

Cheeky cow.

Forgot to text you-lovely!

PenguinBear · 22/08/2013 20:15

Hoping she has arrived now op!

Original poster
Alisvolatpropiis · 22/08/2013 20:44

She's arrived,eaten and is now on the phone to the bloke she's seeing.

My eye has started twitching.

OP posts:
gintastic · 22/08/2013 20:48

Surely you are going to bed NOW? And she has to leave NOW?

Rude madam.

MrsHoratioNelson · 22/08/2013 20:51

And she wonders why she hasn't seen you in a while?! Hmm

SugarMiceInTheRain · 22/08/2013 20:55

I'd be seething by this point. She's seriously taking the mick. I agree with gintastic. She can continue her oh-so-important phone conversation in the car. Hmm and Angry

WhereYouLeftIt · 22/08/2013 20:55
Shock Close friend Hmm? At arms length from now on I hope.
MrsLouisTheroux · 22/08/2013 21:46

Has she left OP? Very rude.

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