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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU re treatment by GP?

99 replies

Wildwaterfalls · 21/08/2013 17:19

I am in floods of tears so possibly not quite in the right shape for AIBU, but I need to know if I am overreacting.

DD (12 months) has developed a rash which has been getting worse and worse over the past 24 hours. First red spots on her bottom and tights, but spreading to other parts of her body. Called 111 earlier today who advised that as she had no other symptoms, watch and wait, but seek medical advice if it got worse.

We were out this afternoon when I noticed the rash being more blister-like and prominent. I also remembered a sign I saw this morning re chicken pox at her nursery. Anyway, I decided to pop into the GP surgery on the way home. Asked for an appointment today or tomorrow. Was told the duty doctor could phone me. Said I'd already sought medical advice on the phone, and would like someone to look at her. Was told the doctor could see me although it might be a bit of a wait. I said great, thanks.

Was then seen by GP who was brusque and rude from the beginning. Showed him the rash which he described as "a bit like hand, foot and mouth, but not quite, possibly a viral infection", and indicated the appointment was over. Being a first time mum this doesn't mean much to me so I asked "so does that mean it is nothing to worry about?". He said, angrily "well, what were you worrying about to begin with?". I said "I'm a first time mum and my baby has a rash all over her body, so I thought she might be ill". "Does she have any symptoms of illness other than the rash?", "no", I said, and he said "Well, come back if she gets those". By now I was more or less in tears because of his manner, and said "I'm really sorry if I have wasted your time, I didn't realise a rash was nothing to worry about without other symptoms". Rather than accepting my apology he said "well, we don't offer a walk-in service" and stood up to show me out.

I was crying by this point but went to reception to get his name (he had only been described to me as the duty doctor), and left.

Now AIBU to be so upset? I know I was being PFB and inexperienced but shouldn't doctors treat you better than this? I did't insist on being seen as I walk-in, I just refused a phone consultation as I didn't think there was any point and asked for an appointment today or tomorrow.

And if you think IANBU, would you complain? I kind of want to but this is out practice and I don't want to be seen as the difficult patient who complains.... even thought I know that is week.

Sorry this is so long. for lasting this long

OP posts:

Original poster

Wildwaterfalls · 21/08/2013 22:26

*their

OP posts:

ukatlast · 21/08/2013 22:36

Quote NICE 'I know you all seem to think that the doctor has nothing better to do, but the fact is that it's not the doctors time she will have been encroaching in, it will have been the time of sicker patients who had more need of the doctor.'

What utter tosh! He barked at her for 30 seconds and so did not get behind on any of his appointments.
Dealing with the admin fallout from her complaint is going to make him be more civil in future.
I have friend who is a kindly GP who had a case where a child with meningitis went downhill fast and he told me if I were ever concerned about my kids, do not ever let a GP/hospital fob me off. Trust your instincts and get things checked out.

SomethingChanged · 21/08/2013 22:40

Sorry, where I said '*complaints are horrible' I really mean '...horrible to receive'. There's nothing wrong with giving feedback and making people consider their practice.

ukatlast · 21/08/2013 22:40

Nice - what was the point of telephone triage when she was standing there in the surgery with her baby who had deteriorated? Where's your common sense?

FutTheShuckUp · 21/08/2013 22:43

But it appears the OP was thinking more along the lines of chickenpox than meningitis though...otherwise anyone would agree with insisting on seeing a medical profession

FutTheShuckUp · 21/08/2013 22:48

But I agree there's no call for rudeness from the doctor

McNewPants2013 · 21/08/2013 22:55

My pfb is 7 and if he has a rash that i am unsure og I phone the GP explaining DS has a rash and could I have an urgent appointment.

The doctor was rude and I would complain.

But I would never just walk into my GP surgery with a child with a rash.

Lilacroses · 21/08/2013 23:30

Op, make your complaint and then move on. If you find that your Drs surgery isn't helpful in the future then change. I think it is really worrying and upsetting to feel that you cannot get your child checked over when they are ill. At my Dr's surgery you can often be given a nurse appt if they're are no GP appts. I have never been dismissed like that and I visited pretty often when Dd was small.

mamadoc · 22/08/2013 00:45

I'm a dr although not a GP and I think he was rude and uncalled for and you should complain.

How is a person to know what is and isn't serious. Surely any decent Dr would rather people err on the side of caution especially with a baby?

I have screwed up both ways myself:I failed to take DD to GP when she was a baby and had 'just a cold'. That turned out to be bronchiolitis and she needed a week in hospital. I hadn't wanted to waste a GPs time.

OTOH I once took her with a freckle on the sole of her foot! Despite 5 years at medical school I didn't realise that's what it was and thought it was some serious lesion. My GP didn't laugh at me. He was very kind and since it took him all of 5 secs to diagnose he could catch up some clinic time.

Please don't let this put you off. If you are worried you go and take some advice. That is what we are there for.

NoComet · 22/08/2013 01:33

YANBU
Drs. Make me very nervous, I only go after worrying about things for sometime.

Thus I refuse to see Dr. There's nothing wrong with you

I know I'm not the only one and he always has appointments.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/08/2013 15:40

McNewPants

OP was just passing the GP surgery on her way home and popped in

BlueShirtBlueTie · 22/08/2013 16:48

You went into a doctors and refused a telephone triage and demanded to see a doctor straight away

She didn't demand to see a doctor straight away. She said in her OP that she asked for an appointment either today or tomorrow. How did you get demanded to see a doctor straight away from that?

Even if she had demanded to see a doctor straight away do you really think that justifies the GP being an utter arse?

pumpkinsweetie · 22/08/2013 16:54

Sounds shit tbh.
I would make a complaint, as first of all you should have been told what the rash was not just sent of knowing nothing.

Gps should never make you feel bad about seeking medical attention for your child.

brettgirl2 · 22/08/2013 18:31

to those people who say 'I wouldn't take a child with those symptoms to the doctor. You have no idea what the rash looked like as you haven't seen it

DD2 has a tendency to develop all over body 'viral' rashes and the first time it happened it worried me to death. To not take her to the doctors would have been irresponsible.

So op YANBU. Complain to stop him treating other patients like that.

Original poster

Wildwaterfalls · 22/08/2013 19:58

Thanks all for the kind words. Having read about viral rashes and how common they are I do now feel bad for having taken her in, but I just did not know. And PP is right, it looked (and still looks) pretty scary: her entire legs, thighs and bottom are covered in raised red bumps, some of them blistery, with some further bumps and blisters on her hands, arms and neck area.

I have given this a lot of thought today () and I expect that when I asked for an appointment, the receptionist (who was lovely) decided it was better to be dealt with today and offered the phone consultation. When I said I'd prefer an appointment so someone could look at the rash, she phoned the GP and must have said something like 'mother and baby with rash walked in, don't want phone consultation but prefer to be seen'. The GP must have (wrongly) assumed on the back of that that I'd walked in and expected to be seen immediately.

Bearing that in mind and knowing what I know now about viral rashes, I can see he would have been irritated, although in my view it still does not excuse his attitude.

I would so like to somehow be able to go back and explain to this doctor that I did not demand to be seen immediately, but I can't really and judging from how he was yesterday I expect he would not make time / listen.

Thanks again all

OP posts:

Original poster

Wildwaterfalls · 22/08/2013 20:09

Oh and before anyone jumps on me - of course he can't make time for the explanation I want to give him as he has better things to do - I am just expressing the feeling of frustration you get when someone has wrongly assumed you behaved unreasonably. If you see what I mean.

OP posts:

ukatlast · 22/08/2013 20:31

Wildwaterfalls - where is your self-esteem? He had no right to speak to you like that - you still need to complain - it seems his bullying has worked. Please stop making excuses for him and the receptionist.

Even if you were their worst patient, they are still not supposed as professionals to speak to you impolitely....you are now saying you want to go in and explain why you think he was justified in being rude to you...ffs...are you depressed?
This man made you cry for hours and you are excusing his unprofessional behaviour.

brettgirl2 · 22/08/2013 20:35

how would you know? When I've described what dd has had other people have been omg.

When I went for the second time the dr said 'It's a very dramatic rash isn't it? ' The dr you saw was being vile.

Original poster

Wildwaterfalls · 22/08/2013 20:49

Ukatlast you are right and as I say none of this would be an excuse for his attitude. I guess I was just trying to work out some sort of explanation (although not excuse) for how he acted.

OP posts:

ukatlast · 22/08/2013 21:30

Draft your complaint letter tonight....that's an order.

AidanTheRevengeNinja · 22/08/2013 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Josieannathe2nd · 22/08/2013 22:08

You are not. My 2YO suddenly developed a rash (like nappy rash but over his chest back and legs). I rang GP, they said him in immediately. I was seen within 30 mins & clearly told it was not something to worry about, probably viral and what to watch out for which would indicate something more worrying (e.g. menegitis). I was not made to feel silly at all, and in fact the appt only took 5mins. Same NHS- they should have treated you so much better. Definitely complain.

Original poster

Wildwaterfalls · 22/08/2013 22:28

Thankfully I wrote a very factual letter / note at the same time as I wrote the OP, mainly to make sure I remembered and captured the exact language that was used and upset me.

Thanks Aidan for your really helpful post.

OP posts:

AnyoneforTurps · 23/08/2013 09:11

So I don't think you misused services, but even if you had, this does not justify his rudeness.

Spot on. I think you are right, Wildwater that the GP may have erroneously have had the impression that you had walked in and demanded to be seen. As a GP myself, I do find patients who do this stressful because my day is manic as it is. But this does not excuse being rude to a patient and especially not the mother of a young child. Children can deteriorate very fast and I would rather see 1000 "emergencies" that turn out to be nothing, than miss something serious.

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