AIBU re treatment by GP?

[Wildwaterfalls]

I am in floods of tears so possibly not quite in the right shape for AIBU, but I need to know if I am overreacting.

DD (12 months) has developed a rash which has been getting worse and worse over the past 24 hours. First red spots on her bottom and tights, but spreading to other parts of her body. Called 111 earlier today who advised that as she had no other symptoms, watch and wait, but seek medical advice if it got worse.

We were out this afternoon when I noticed the rash being more blister-like and prominent. I also remembered a sign I saw this morning re chicken pox at her nursery. Anyway, I decided to pop into the GP surgery on the way home. Asked for an appointment today or tomorrow. Was told the duty doctor could phone me. Said I'd already sought medical advice on the phone, and would like someone to look at her. Was told the doctor could see me although it might be a bit of a wait. I said great, thanks.

Was then seen by GP who was brusque and rude from the beginning. Showed him the rash which he described as "a bit like hand, foot and mouth, but not quite, possibly a viral infection", and indicated the appointment was over. Being a first time mum this doesn't mean much to me so I asked "so does that mean it is nothing to worry about?". He said, angrily "well, what were you worrying about to begin with?". I said "I'm a first time mum and my baby has a rash all over her body, so I thought she might be ill". "Does she have any symptoms of illness other than the rash?", "no", I said, and he said "Well, come back if she gets those". By now I was more or less in tears because of his manner, and said "I'm really sorry if I have wasted your time, I didn't realise a rash was nothing to worry about without other symptoms". Rather than accepting my apology he said "well, we don't offer a walk-in service" and stood up to show me out.

I was crying by this point but went to reception to get his name (he had only been described to me as the duty doctor), and left.

Now AIBU to be so upset? I know I was being PFB and inexperienced but shouldn't doctors treat you better than this? I did't insist on being seen as I walk-in, I just refused a phone consultation as I didn't think there was any point and asked for an appointment today or tomorrow.

And if you think IANBU, would you complain? I kind of want to but this is out practice and I don't want to be seen as the difficult patient who complains.... even thought I know that is week.

Sorry this is so long. for lasting this long

Another GP who thinks YANBU. It's perfectly normal for 1st time parents to be anxious about illness - and in fact for any parent to be anxious about a rash that is changing. A GP should be able to reassure you that is nothing serious without making you feel that you are wasting his time.

I'm a bit confused as to why someone would take a child to the doctors if the suspected their child had chickenpox though...nothing they can do for it and totally selfish to others in the surgery who are immunosupressed

From the OP it sounds like the mum in this case was thinking it was chickenpox rather than anything major

Naiceham So how was the OP meant to know the rash was nothing?

The doctor's attitude was wrong, regardless of whether or not you should have used the service as you did.

Most GPs will see plenty of patients in a day that completely don't need to be there - especially on duty doctor day. That's a wider issue and isn't one that's necessarily going to be solved by being rude to patients/parents who are perceived to have wasted an appt.

On the other note, I'm a paeds reg for my sins, and if a GP is worried about a rash and calls for advice, I almost always see the child.

MarriedinWhiteisBlack I'm really sorry about your friend.

But has it occurred to you that your friend would have gone to the back of the queue behind people who were prepared to come in and push the the front of the queue like the OP?

There is a world of difference between an obviously sick child with parents who can't get to the surgery and a parent with a well child who has rash who refuses a telephone triage which would have given her a same day appointment had she needed it.

I nearly died (of a burst appendix) when phone triaged (by a gp) rather than a face-to-face appt. I always refuse phone triage unless it is for something minor. The dr who triaged me hadn't even bothered to make a note in the system of my call, just told me to take paracetemol for the pain. A few hours later I was unconscious. The surgeon later asked me why I hadn't seen a dr sooner .

Candycoatedwaterdrops If she'd taken the telephone triage then she would have known....

naiceham yes there is a difference - a huge difference. Precisely why a home visit shoukd not have been refused - twice - when mum was also a patient and had just had major surgery.

The OP is a new(ish) mum and wasn't sure - she needed reassurance. I know what chicken pox looks like - in fact when my ds had it at 9 mponths I didn't take him to the doctor. I should have because he was a chronic asthmatic and his steroids should have been upped because that's a comlicatin of chicken pox in vulnrable babies with asthma. Had I takenn him we wouldn't have had a three day hospital admission and then a second course of oral steroids because he hadn't quite turned the corner. Pig ignorant mother who doesn't like to waste the doctor's time see.

I have never even heard of the term telephone triage. My surgery certainly doesn't use them and I'm very glad for that.

By ringing 111 the OP had already been through 'telephone triage'. She was told if it got worse to seek medical advice. It did get worse, so she did exactly what she was told to do.

The doctor was rude.

YANBU

Evilberry I refuse to believe that people can be so stupid that they cannot understand the difference between speaking to an operator in a call centre and speaking to a doctor at your own surgery who has access to all your own notes who can make a decision on whether or not you need to be seen immediately.

Marriedinwhiteisblack not only are you completely missing the point what you are saying is just backing up mine. There are occasions where children NEED to be seen pretty much immediately. A child like your friend who had a visibly ill child and couldn't attend the surgery. A child like your own who had a rash but also had a complication because he was asthmatic which needed to be picked up immediately.

People like that have their treatment compromised or delayed because mothers who's child has been well enough to go to nursery and go out and about with their mother and apparently wait until the next day for an appointment suddenly become so ill their parents insist they must be seen in that surgery when something which the parent finds slightly inconvenient is suggested, like a telephone triage rather than an appointment there or then.

Naice When I have spoken to NHS Direct etc on the phone about my child, they haven't just been operators. Initially maybe, but then spoken to a nurse or doctor. I still believe that the OP did the right thing and if technically it wasn't correct according to NHS procedures, the doctor didn't need to be so rude.

Did you mean to call me stupid in your post as well?

Naiceham You must have some very talented doctors that can tell if a rash is serious or not via phone.

I spoke to NHS direct and they eventually gave me to a doctor to speak to who desided my dd was ill and should see a gp - it turned out it was swine flu and I shouldn't have been sent to the gp at all.

My gp at the time wasn't to happy I had gone into the surgery as all the posters said - stay away with swine flu

I said well blame NHS direct then as they told me to come here in the middle of a swine flu outbreak they told me her symptoms were not swine flu. Not much use if your own docs cock up is it, how do you expect me without qualification to know if your doctors have got it right or wrong?

He was very smiley after that...

OP if the 111 service told you to see a doctor if it got worse and that is what you did - then tell the gp to sort it out with them for wasting his time as you were under instructions

naice you have completely missed the point that the doctor should not have been rude whatever the circumstances and an inexperienced mother needed some reassurance. As others have said a diagnosis over the phone can never be accurate.

yanbu op, its scary bring a first time mum, its understandable you wanted her checked out.

But, I do actually agree with naiceham too. There are far too many unnecessary appointments made and the nhs is a finite resource. Someone who genuinely needs the nhs cannot get access if the doctor is busy with someone who doesn't need it. I can fully see why this would be frustrating for a doctor.

When my 3month old had a cold, the Dr dismissed us immediately saying 'all first time mums are like this with their pfb's first cold'. I was absolutely sure it wasn't just a cold. I was right. 3 hours later she was being fed oxygen through her nose at hospital, and the start of a 5 dayr stay for bronchilitus.
I don't blame the Dr for missing this, I blame the hundreds of mothers who did take their babies with nothing but a cold.

Another time when I was getting dressed I saw a most horrendous rash all over my back, as an adult. My reaction was to swap the backless dress I had been about to wear for full cover. I felt fine and didn't give it a second thought. I try to remember that whenever I see stash on the girls.

I have heard with meningitis, the rash is the last thing they get, the other horrible symptoms will be first.

Also a GP and I think YANBU at all. All doctors should be concerned about children with unusual rashes and also take the concerns of parents on board. If nothing else it's a good way to run through worrying signs to look for and to empower parents. GPs doing this are often the same ones running late!

I understand this GP could be having a terrible afternoon on call but that is likely to be a system problem. Taking it out on you isn't fair. Talk to the practice manager like suggested above. Complaints are horrible but they help people learn and might nudge your GP to think about his communication skills and also the practice to reflect on it's systems.

Hope your daughter is ok now and you're having a well deserved rest.

Stash = a rash

I find this astonishing! What dreadful treatment you received, OP. I would certainly complain

You really are an ignorant @@@@ Naice.

I hope to God that you are just a self important pen pusher and that you don't actually have to deal with frightened vulnerable people or make decisions about their health. It scares the fuck out of me to think that you would be allowed within 100 feet of a patient with an attitude like yours.

And I will tell you something for nothing, If I was in a GPs waiting room, in pain or having had to wait 3 weeks for an appointment or whatever was happening to me at the time and a Mum with a small Baby with a rash wanted to go in front of me I would not hesitate to give her my place.

If these GP's that Naice knows can diagnose rashes over the phone then I need their number.

My GP saw me twice and told me my rash was an allergy. It was actually shingles.

And, for what it's worth, he is one of those Dr's who rushes your appointment and never actually resolves the problem.

I don't see him anymore.

Arethereanyleft if your gp missed A diagnosis there is no one to blame but him. It's his job to spot the one that's really ill... do you realise that all the mums who took their pfbs with a cold 'knew' there was something wrong?

Thanks all who have expressed there support.

Naice - I started this thread being fully prepared to discuss my (un)reasonableness, and I really accept the issues around NHS resources - I work for the NHS myself. Now that I know a bit more about viral rashes I can make better decisions about using GP next time.

However, there is no need for you to be so offensive and call me stupid, and imply I am selfish.

I did not walk and demand to be seen, I walked in and asked to make an appointment.

I did not decline telephone triage. I was offered a phone consultation and explained I had already had medical (not operator!) advice over the phone and was keen for someone to look at the rash - again not immediately but could I please make an appointment.

If there were no appointments that day they should not have offered me one. If they have a system of telephone triage in place for same day appointments they should have explained that to me.

Thanks again for all the kind posts from others.

YANBU

The nurses and HVs at my NHS post-natal group drummed into us new mums that if we are concerned about our babies to not hesitate in taking them to the GP. They said that they'd rather have babies brought in than to hesitate and it to end up being something serious.

The point is Naice that most first time parents are not medical professionals who can tell when something is potentially serious or benign. That's what the GP is for, for when we are unsure and think further intervention could be required. If we could tell that it wasn't something to bother Doctor with then we wouldn't make the appointments!

I still have the mindset that I don't want to bother the doctor if it turns out to be something minor. I am trying to fight this now for DS, but thankfully he hasn't needed to be seen apart from immunisations so far. If I'd been spoken to the way OP was, it would make me delay further the next time, which could be the really serious ailment.