Bastard, Bloody, Buggering Post Office has absolutely F-ing RUINED my birthday. I am Very Very Upset.

[AtYourCervix]

Fuckers.

I am Destroyed. Devastated.

a bit

I've been lying on the sofa watching Harry Potter DVDs and eating my considerable weight in cheese since 9am.

I have an Enormous Loud Barky Ill-mannered Puppy who barks when people approach the front door.

Yet Bastard Postman has still managed to sneak a card through the letterbox saying we weren't in when he/she/it tried to deliver a parcel.

And not just any parcel. MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT PARCEL

I'm working tomorrow so won't even get it until friday.

I am Very Very Upset.

[BrokenSunglasses]

YANBU. The Post Office are Farty fucking fuckers.

Have extra cake to make up for it. With cream.

[Tittypulumpcious]

Happy Birthday!

Despite the wank faced postie I hope you have a very lovely day

[YouTheCat]

Happy birthday!

It's mine tomorrow but I already had 6 bottles of wine delivered (from my brother). I have plans for that wine.

[Ishtar2410]

Similar happened to me. Not the Post Office though.

Paid extra for next day delivery before 1pm, which needed a signature - and just in case I was on the school run, I arranged for them to knock next door for my neighbour to sign for it. Nipped out approximately 5 minutes to collect DS from school.

Came home, no parcel. No card through the door. Checked online tracker to find that the parcel had supposedly been delivered. Signed for by THE PORCH....and signed at a time I was actually in the house. Now, maybe I'm missing something, but I think I might have noticed if my porch had hands and could sign its name.

Rang up and was told it had been delivered to the 'wrong address' and that the driver would collect it and bring it to me within the hour. Suspect very strongly that the parcel was still on the van, but because it was time limited, the driver just signed for it.

Less than half an hour later a very sheepish driver appeared and handed over said parcel.

Oh, and I got a refund. Hopefully he got a rocket.

[Amber66]

I left a note on my door the other day saying "please knock, I AM in", later heard the letterbox go and found the note on the mat with " no you are NOT" scrawled on my note. I ran outside just as the van was pulling off and he pretended not to see me.
Cue me making a very cross phone call to the depot.
I still had to go and collect my parcel the next day

[MrsLouisTheroux]

WHY DON'T THEY KNOCK?! Does anyone know?!

[BrokenSunglasses]

at Amber!! Did he really write on your note!?

Omg, the blatant barefaced cheek of that on my own doorstep would send me apoplectic with rage.

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

Arf @ "no you are not"!

[greensmoothiegoddess]

Saw a postie doing just this the other day as I was driving past. He had jumped out of his van clutching his red card and he sprinted a few doors along to the correct house and just shoved the card in. No attempt to knock. He wasn't holding any parcel.

[greensmoothiegoddess]

On a side note, does anyone remember the halcyon days of two daily house deliveries (first and second post) and twice daily collections from post boxes?

What on earth has happened to our krappy post system?

[GrendelsMum]

Our postie is coming up with ever more sophisticated places to hide parcels for us. He's currently alternating between pushing them through the cat flap and tucking them behind a shutter. I think he enjoys the challenge.

[Youhaventseenme]

John Lewis tried to do this to us, when we were waiting for a new didshwasher. DH sprinted after the van and thumped on the side until they stopped. He is normally very mild mannered but he had taken a day off to stay in and wait, so he had been promised a dishwasher and dishwasher he got.

[Caoilainn]

Happy Birthday and and to AtYourCervix and
Euphemia

Love the two birthdays idea!

[Ilanthe]

Yy to August birthdays being shite. It's even worse when it falls on / around the bank holiday - cards and presents never arrive on time.

However, it has made me remarkably unprecious about it. I celebrated it a day early last year, because no one wanted to brave bank holiday traffic. Wasn't bothered.

[Amber66]

He did, but he actually wrote "no your not". I took it with me when I went to pick the parcel up from the depot and showed it to the lady who served me. We had a good giggle about it. By then I could see the funny side and it wasn't too big a deal for me as the depot just so happens to be in the same road that I work in (30 miles from home).
It still makes me laugh, cheeky fecker!

[Sallyingforth]

The so-called 'Royal' Mail is going down the pan anyway. There are so many competing services to choose from, and the latest parcel charge increases were the final nail in the coffin.

[LayMizzRarb]

My post office van driver was so fucking lazy, he sent a 'while you were out' card through the fucking post!
I did complain to the chief exec and after much wrangling got a £10 cheque 'for my trouble' to be honest, it didn't equal the time I sent emailing, but it was better than nothing.

[Domaby]

I found a parcel behind our rarely used side gate yesterday. It had been there a while - the address label had bleached white and weeds had grown over the top of it.

[TallulahTT]

What is it? Happy birthday!

[RandallPinkFloyd]

My XDH used to be a postie.
If he had any parcels at all you could guarantee he would find a way to deliver them. He could be awfully creative if needs be but no sodding way was he going to carry the stupid thing all the way back to the sorting office after walking 3 miles carrying the bastard!

He would scrutinise the whole house for any possible 'safe place' to leave it, failing that he would knock on every door in the street until some poor bugger accepted it.

My postie is a pita. He always knocks, I'll give him that, he's got a knock that could wake the dead, if you're in there's no way you're avoiding him. But he absolutely refuses to leave anything with anyone else. I live in a terraced street, there is always someone around, always. No courier has ever had an issue. But no. Every single bleeding time he Red Cards me.

Either he really loves carrying parcels or he feels a need to punish people who order things they aren't willing to wait in all day to receive

Soz about the ruined birthday AYC. Many many [sadfaces]

[lastnightiwenttomanderleyagain]

Happy birthday AYC and Euphemia!

I have a good 'un... Sent out our wedding invites out. About a month later a reasonably good friend slightly sheepishly asked me if she was invited. Of course! Made new invite and hand delivered it.

A week AFTER the wedding I get a very odd envelope in the post from Royal Mail. With her wedding invite, opened, in it.

Checked the address, it was 100% correct. What had happened was that instead of delivering it to Letsby Avenue SE17, they had delivered it to Letsby street NW6. Not a great start. However, the helpful people at the wrong address had highlighted and underlined the actual address and written 'deliver to Letsby avenue, not Letsby street' and put it back in the post. This was clearly far too.complicated for royal mail who, instead of delivering it to the address they should have done (printed on envelope, not handwritten, and in normal font), evidently opened the envelope, found our RSVP card and posted it back to us. Phew! Inefficiency at its best...

Bloody useless!

[AtYourCervix]

Happy Birthday Euphemia.

I just bought myself a car to cheer me up.

[HilariousLotus]

Royal Mail are evil i have caught my postman twice just putting the red card of doom through the letterbox and once managed to open the door just as he was doing it expecting him to give me my package but no he said Well i left it at the office so you'll have to go and get it after the time specified on the card which was in 48 hours .... i was not impressed i may of followed him round my block of flats while on the phone to the sorting office yelling at his manager like a deranged crazy person with my only excuse for being less than rational was it was also my birthday and i wanted my presents so i completely understand your point of view :)