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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate parents like these?

56 replies

PattieOfurniture · 20/08/2013 20:35

Went out with dc today, a safari park with theme park rides and every fucking time we go somewhere like this there's always a kid or several crying their eyes out on a ride while their parent forces them to go on, I always feel so sorry for the kids and feel like slapping the parents.
Aibu?

OP posts:
GangstersLoveToDance · 20/08/2013 21:47

Tbh I think the op is exaggerating.

I have seen many instances like mine described below. Parents coaxing nervous kids in a queue.

I have never seen a crying/screaming child 'forced' into a ride seat. Hmm

There is a huge difference.

zippey · 20/08/2013 21:50

I had to do this the other day. DD is a bit anxious about trying new things and I knew if she tried it once she would love it. It was going down a slide.

There was also another occasion when going to a dance class for the first time, DD was screaming no no no etc. We decided to just watch the children dancing and after a while she wanted to join in.

I think as parents you have to do what you think is best. We make decisions for our children every day they probably don't particularly want to do... get out of bed, have a bath, brush teeth, do the dishes...

So I think YABU. They aren't doing any harm to their children, in fact, probably helping them to aquire social skills and enjoyment over things which they were not going to try.

GangstersLoveToDance · 20/08/2013 21:53

What theme park is this?

On the rare occasions that I have seen a youngish child crying on a fair ride, it is always stopped to let them off. The parents are not given the chance to watch them scream the whole way.

ReallyTired · 20/08/2013 22:04

"Poppy, but you're not forcing him to go on, what I'm talking about is parents physically forcing children kicking and screaming on to a ride, strapping them in a seat and watching them bawl their eyes out the whole way round."

I find that hard to believe. I think that at most theme parks the staff would intervene. I have never seen that happen at a theme park.

Original poster
PattieOfurniture · 20/08/2013 22:04

It was west midland safari park, the rides were not stopped.

OP posts:
MrsOakenshield · 21/08/2013 08:51

I agree that doesn't sound great, but unless you stalked them for the rest of their visit, for all you know the end result could have been a child wanting to go on everything. Like I said, that's exactly what DH did, tucked screaming DD under his arm, carted her up to the top of the helter-skelter, plonked her down in front of him, off they went, DD still screaming - she bloody loved it. Of course, if some nosey parker you hadn't seen what happened next (instant demand to go on again, this time screaming with glee), you would have thought he was awful. But you would have been wrong.

RoxyFox211 · 21/08/2013 08:51

If the situation is how you perceive it then Yanbu.
But sometimes it's hard to judge a situation from the outside. For example, we were at an adventure park a few days ago and dd wanted to go on some bumper boat things. We queued for about 40 mins and just before we got on dd stung her finger on a stinging nettle. For the first five mins of the ride she was crying her eyes out (shes only 3), and it must've looked like she hated it. But actually being on the ride eventually distracted her eventually she was enjoying it. I'm glad we stuck it out, but to some watching out of earshot it must've looked like we were forcing her on!

pianodoodle · 21/08/2013 08:56

Ah hoof them on I say. You've paid the entrance fee so they'll bloody well enjoy themselves whether they like it or not Grin

wannabedomesticgoddess · 21/08/2013 08:59

AIBU?

YABU.

No I am not, you all are.

Hmm
cory · 21/08/2013 09:00

I was the child who was always anxious about everything and then upset for days because I hadn't done it.

Dd very similar. Even at 16, she still needs to spend some time proclaiming loudly that she can't do anything new.

She went off just now to the theatre project she has been dreaming of for months. But first we had to endure a full two weeks of how she couldn't do it, how she didn't want to do it, how she just wanted it to stop. And since she started on Monday she has been walking on clouds. Bloody annoying, but she has been like this since she was 2. About abso-bloody-lutely everything. Hmm

Azultrailer · 21/08/2013 09:03

I took my three plus my nephew to a softplay place with a big slide - the bumpy type where you need a mat to slide on. DC2 stood by the side crying saying he didn't want to go on it AND wanted me to stay with him, which would have meant leaving the other three to climb up by themselves. So DC2 had to stand by the side and wait. Luckily there was an attendant at the top so the other three were ok but still DC2 was screaming. He wouldn't go on anything else, he just wanted to stand and scream at the other three.
In the end I carried him up to the top of the slide, put him on my knee and we went down together. Then he did it by himself and I have the most fantastic video of him shouting "mummy I did it!"
So OP, chew on that!

StitchingMoss · 21/08/2013 09:05

I was at Legoland Duplo Splashpark last month and saw a mum slap her child very hard across the back of the legs because they had an argument about going on the large water slide, girl refused, mum hit her.

I was so disgusted I nearly said something but I was on my own with two small DC and the dad was built like a brick shithouse.

Some parents are mental.

Emilythornesbff · 21/08/2013 09:05

That would have been upsetting to see Pattie

Fakebook · 21/08/2013 09:07

I think I used to be one of those children, but it used to be my older brother and sister pulling me on rides. I used to cry until the ride started and then loved every second (they obviously knew loving thrill rides was in my blood!). I did this on every new ride at every theme park we ever went to. It hasn't left me scarred for life...I still love thrill rides and theme parks.

Also, if I sometimes ran out of the queue and never went on a ride, I used to regret it for the rest of the summer when my brother and sister used to keep mentioning how much fun it was.

So yabu.

littlemisswise · 21/08/2013 09:12

We went to Legoland years ago with some friends. Their eldest DC didn't want to go on one of the rides. He was bawling his eyes out and begging not to go on, they forced him on. He screamed and cried all the way round. It was horrible to witness.

LiegeAndLief · 21/08/2013 09:13

I did this with dd the other day. We queued for a ride that both dc wanted to go on. It was very gentle and I thought dd would love it. They both got on, then dd started to cry and wanted to get off so fine, I took her off before it started.

She then cried watching ds go round and said she really wanted to go on. The queue was about 15 min and ds wasn't keen to go on again so I asked several times to check she was sure she wanted to go. She is 4 btw, not 2. She said yes definitely. We queued again. She was all excited.

They both got on, dd started crying to get off again. I made her stay on, thinking she would enjoy it when it started and ds was with her. She screamed all the way round. If it's any consolation OP, I felt truly awful.

geeandfeesmum · 21/08/2013 09:14

I remember when I was around 9 or 10, my uncle took me to a theme park. He insisted we went on a rollercoaster. I was terrified. I pretended to be to be too short, I literally was kicking and screaming. He told me to sit on it and he would just take a photo and then we would get off. He lied (obviously), and the rollercoaster took off. I screamed and wailed the whole way round. As soon as it stopped, I dragged him back on it again. I went back on it at least 15 more times!! For the record, I still love roller coasters!!

Nerfmother · 21/08/2013 09:21

We had similar on holiday. Kids club, small girl sobbing about being left, dad forcing her to stay.
Pick up time, play leader tells same parents that they'd tried to ring several times, little girl so upset, couldn't be left without a parent again.
'Oh that was you ringing?' Says mum.
Shock

Growlithe · 21/08/2013 09:30

I'm in two minds about this. I wouldn't force a child to do something which obviously terrifies them, but I don't like to see children missing out on fun because they are scared of everything, and parents not challenging this.

fairylightsinthespring · 21/08/2013 09:33

of course there will be some parents who put their own enjoyment before their kids but I think it is far far more common that the majority of situations are as others describe, eg one parent, two kids who want to do very different things, or kids changing their mind at the last second and crying for a bit then being ok, or like my DD who cried because she was sitting next to her Nan instead of me because it was DS's turn to sit next to me. YABU to "hate" parents for a situation that you have no understanding of.

youarewinning · 21/08/2013 09:37

I have an overly anxious DS. He would try nothing new if not forced co erced into it. I always say you cannot know you don't like something unless you try it. So he'll try it - he may cry - but he tries it.

LadyBryan · 21/08/2013 11:03

It depends.

My DD is exceedingly cautious about trying new things. So we coax and bribe and get her onto things. Which she then invariably loves and wants to go on again.

I would never, EVER try and get her on anything I know she wouldn't like. I am also able to tell when she is being "her" and genuinely worried, in which case again I wouldn't aim to get her on it.

OP you are very judgmental when completely ignorant of any sort of fact

cory · 21/08/2013 11:08

"I am also able to tell when she is being "her" and genuinely worried, in which case again I wouldn't aim to get her on it."

That's it in a nutshell!

kali110 · 21/08/2013 14:33

I was the child who would beg to go on a ride. Then change my mind and then cry that i didnt want to go on it. My dad in end would make me go on rides, i loved them. Iv always been anxious at new things. If he hadnt i would never try anything new. Think yabu, you dont know the child.

xuntitledx · 21/08/2013 15:02

On the other hand, it's also quite annoying when your children beg you to do something with them (in our case it was taking them to a waterpark) but then refusing point blank to go on anything...

In our case we managed to pursuade them to have a turn but because they didn't enjoy it we didn't pressure them to do it again and just spent the rest of the time in the bog standard pool - money well spent(!)