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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel so sorry for kids growing up in this social media era

121 replies

whitesugar · 20/08/2013 14:36

I am devastated for that young girl at the concert in Slane. My teenagers have just told me that she is no. one trend on Twitter. One mistake by a 17 year old and it goes worldwide. I am distraught for her and fearful for her safety. Also appalled that the boy is seen as a hero and she is vilified. Sometimes I just despair.

OP posts:
JustinBsMum · 20/08/2013 19:04

Maybe it will get to the stage where we have seen everything and nothing shocks and we don't give a monkeys. We being the general public which includes teenagers.

TheOnlyPink · 20/08/2013 19:05

Well said fourgates completely agree. A friend of mine on fb is constantly posting pics of her teenage DD in her pajamas etc, I feel so sorry for her. If people wanted to get at her, fb security isn't impenetrable.

MurderOfGoths · 20/08/2013 19:05

whoop Absolutely. It's grim isn't it? He's somehow come out of this unscathed whereas she's the disgusting one. :(

whitesugar · 20/08/2013 19:12

Whoop, my 16 year old DD said exactly the same. She is about to get GCSE results and go on to other things. This story set me off on a negative spiral about the misogeny that exists in society that she will have to deal with. I sincerely hope that young girl gets the support she needs.

OP posts:
MintyChops · 20/08/2013 19:51

Poor, poor girl. Whoever posted the photos is just heartless.

PeriodMath · 20/08/2013 20:22

Couldn't agree more. It's the sheer vanity of it - endless pouty selfless everywhere.

And it's not just teens doing it, grown women too. Oh look at the subtle lighting in this hazy photo which makes me look 33 instead of 36 - must post on FB for everyone (who knows exactly what I really look like) to see.

The recording and sharing of every moment, mundane or otherwise - why???!!!

And yes, the bullying it lays them open too. And the filth they see online and share. I dread getting to the internet stage with mine.

Re the girl in Ireland, my niggle is this: she is giving out blow-jobs and letting guys grope her in full public view in broad daylight. She knows there is an audience. These kids know and expect there to be camera phones everywhere, they live through them. Did she really think nobody had seen/would see? Confused

It is of course wrong for it to have been photographed and distributed. And yes it took two and he is a seedy fucker for allowing it.

But, but, what on earth possessed her?

SomethingOnce · 20/08/2013 20:24

That lad has the bearing of an arrogant, misogynistic little shit.

What decent man would allow that to happen, let alone take pride in it? And who is bringing up these empathy-free boys who call him a legend? And what the fuck is up with people who photograph such things?

Arseholes.

I feel so angry on behalf of this girl.

SomethingOnce · 20/08/2013 20:25

And here comes the victim-blaming ^

MintyChops · 20/08/2013 20:27

It's the people calling him a legend and whoever posted it who are more devoid of any decency if you ask me although I wonder how proud his mum is of his leering face

PeriodMath · 20/08/2013 20:27

Don't start that. I fully agree with much of what has been said. But is she not to be criticised one iota for this? Confused

CorrineFoxworth · 20/08/2013 20:30

Perhaps his mum was trying to do her best but through no fault of her own he had a misogynistic fucker of an largely absent father?

CorrineFoxworth · 20/08/2013 20:31

Which is not to say that I didn't think of his mother first myself. How quick we are to blame a woman.

Feminine · 20/08/2013 20:31

How drunk do you have to be to do that in broad daylight?

Or wasn't she?

Teens are so aware these days, there is no way she couldn't it have known it would have been 'shared'

I'm sorry it backfired. However isn't she 17? an age where most MNetters are saying our 'kids' are adults?

I have zero respect for an ass wipe like him however.

I'm hoping this girl will teach a few other 'ladies' how to conduct themselves in public. A sorry tale for all.

QuintessentialOldDear · 20/08/2013 20:32

When I was 19 I was sat right opposite a young lad receiving a blowjob by two girls in his class - all three of them horrendously drunk. He can be really glad this did not happen now, and that nobody had mobile phones or digital cameras back then. He went on to become a defense lawyer, and is now chief inspector of police in X place..... Had he lived in the digital era, his life would have taken a very different path, I bet.

Kids today needs to be smart about how they behave, anything they do can spread like wildfire online.

MintyChops · 20/08/2013 20:33

Ah come on Period, have never done something stupid when you were younger and regretted it? Imagine waking up to find that the whole world, including your mum and dad, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, classmates, their parents, parish priest, the guy at the local petrol station and all the gossiping biddies in your hometown not only know about it but have seen a photo of you doing it. Her life will be hellish after this.

SomethingOnce · 20/08/2013 20:37

What happened was far from ideal, but she is being bullied and the blame for the awfulness that has resulted lies with everyone who documented and shared.

MurderOfGoths · 20/08/2013 20:39

I love how the blame for the situation is being put squarely on her and not the nasty little shits who took photos and put them online!

MintyChops · 20/08/2013 20:40

If that's meant for me Corinne, I am not blaming his mother, I sympathise with her, she will not be one bit proud of him.

CorrineFoxworth · 20/08/2013 20:42

I have been very drunk as a teenager. You are only aware of what is in your immediate vicinity and have no peripheral awareness. She could possibly have been at the stage where she was about to pass out.

If so then there are serious consent issues here because she wasn't able to think at all.

This little prick doesn't seem to be at that level of drunkenness.

Meglet · 20/08/2013 20:42

yanbu. It worries me. How am I going to drum some common sense into the dc's when they are teenagers or do we need to move to some remote Scottish island with no broadband cover Hmm.

NapaCab · 20/08/2013 20:42

Just saw Jani Schofield's father has written a book about coping with his daughter's schizophrenia, it's called 'January First'
www.amazon.com/January-First-Descent-Madness-Struggle/dp/0307719081

Feminine · 20/08/2013 20:43

Do you not think she knew it would end up being 'shared' then goth?

All teens know the drill these days...my son (now 14) has known it since he was 10.

I'm sorry that she is being vilified though.

NapaCab · 20/08/2013 20:43

Oops, sorry everyone! Wrong thread - ignore, ignore, ignore...!

CorrineFoxworth · 20/08/2013 20:43

MintyChops sorry, I was agreeing. Who is raising these boys? And who, more crucially, isn't?

SomethingOnce · 20/08/2013 20:44

I'm up for the Scottish island, let's go!

[also wonders if the Amish are recruiting]