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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel so sorry for kids growing up in this social media era

121 replies

whitesugar · 20/08/2013 14:36

I am devastated for that young girl at the concert in Slane. My teenagers have just told me that she is no. one trend on Twitter. One mistake by a 17 year old and it goes worldwide. I am distraught for her and fearful for her safety. Also appalled that the boy is seen as a hero and she is vilified. Sometimes I just despair.

OP posts:
TheOnlyPink · 20/08/2013 16:16

Saw on twitter that the girl was admitted to hospital last night. I don't know how true it is, but I hate to think what had happened.

I have two sons who are still very young and I am terrified to think what way their society will be when they are teenagers. I can't rule their lives, I just hope I can teach them right from wrong in time!

FondantNancy · 20/08/2013 16:28

Awful. Poor girl. I hope she's ok.

I won't even put pictures of my DCs on FB. I think everyone should have a choice as to whether they're online. But when they become teenagers ... who knows what'll happen. Will have to step up my paranoid ranting education about keeping safe online.

Mintyy · 20/08/2013 16:42

I think kids will cotton-on soon enough.

When my dd is old enough I would show her the newspaper coverage as food for thought.

TheOnlyPink · 20/08/2013 16:52

Fondant, I don't put pics of my kids up either. People think I'm weird and paranoid or else they think I don't understand the fb settings and try to explain. I just don't feel comfortable with it as I don't know every single person I'm friends with really well.

FondantNancy · 20/08/2013 16:55

Yep, same here TheOnly. Most of my friends/family respect our choice but I know a few people eyeroll. Don't care. And I don't think FB settings protect you from anything - look at FB's track record. Who knows what will happen in the future.

garlicagain · 20/08/2013 16:55

I can remember several drunken exploits that I would be Blush to have posted online.

OMG, me too. I didn't stop at 21, either Blush

Just another aspect of this - I once had a short, highly energetic, fling with a guy who filmed it all. I didn't know he had until some of his friends told me. That was a small group of people & I had no further dealings with them. Apparently the dick sold his films but, again, it was unlikely to impact on my daily life.

Using social media, people like him can absolutely wreck a person's life within days. It's just another area young people need to learn caution. It's a pity, as learning caution means learning cynicism.

On the other hand, social media does enhance all our lives in myriad ways, too. Maybe it's not so much "worse" as "different".

NewAtThisMalarky · 20/08/2013 16:58

If you are devastated by it being spread online, op, why are you spreading it further? Surely you by doing so are part of the problem?
I wasn't aware of it, but wont be clicking the link or posting further.

ARealDame · 20/08/2013 16:59

Worrying. Methinks a lecture to my teenage son as he grows on dangers of social media Sad.

However, we have all behaved recklessly esp. with alcohol and would such knowledge be enough of a barrier, especially with exploitative or unpleasant friends/media...

MrsOakenshield · 20/08/2013 17:04

I think we should be teaching our DC not to take photos of everything they see and post it online! I know you can say she did this in public so what does she expect but I also think that it wasn't actually necessary to photograph or film it!

emmelinelucas · 20/08/2013 17:05

I was bullied terribly at school, I wouldn't have been able to cope with being bullied online too, on Facebook, etc.
Home was where I could get a modicum of peace.
On the other hand, I enjoy MN, it's the only forum I go on, so there are good things about social media.
I still wouldn't facebook, for fear my bullies found me.
They won't have suddenly turned into nice people.
That poor girl, she must have been drunk, surely and shame on the lads watching. Haven't any of them got female relatives of about the same age ? Would they watch them ?

Sanctimummy · 20/08/2013 17:05

She looked like she knew she was being photographed. She was giving head in a VERY public place. Silly silly girl.

FondantNancy · 20/08/2013 17:06

If you are devastated by it being spread online, op, why are you spreading it further? Surely you by doing so are part of the problem?

Don't you think this is worth discussion, NewAtThisMalarky? I didn't click the links either but I think it's a really good reminder about the dangers of social media and the need for educating our children (and ourselves).

Original poster
whitesugar · 20/08/2013 17:11

The sites my DC showed me were highly critical of the girl and lauded the boy as a 'legend'. I wanted to show some compassion for a young girl who had clearly made a big mistake. I also wanted to express how tough it is for young people growing up in a world where their activities are monitored so frequently. This incident was reported in The Sun, The Mirror, Irish and US media to name but a few. I certainly wasn't trying to spread it further.

OP posts:
zatyaballerina · 20/08/2013 17:28

I feel so sorry for this poor girl, everybody makes mistakes when they're young, it's horrifying to think that kids nowadays can't do anything stupid without having it spread over social media to be bullied and degraded in front of the whole world. She didn't hurt anyone except herself, she does not deserve this public humiliation following her for the rest of her life, she doesn't deserve the abuse she's getting, this must be so traumatic for her, I hope she gets all the support she needs to overcome it.

It is a reminder for parents to drill into our children the importance of not doing anything in public you don't want the world seeing. Sadly that's the world we live in now.

I do think that people should be held legally responsible for posting images/videos that degrade, humiliate, distress, abuse others. Public bullying should not be tolerated.

NewAtThisMalarky · 20/08/2013 17:30

I think issues regarding social media are very much worth discussing.

I'm just not sure that giving all the details of this specific case is the best way to do it, especially given the ops good intentions.

garlicagain · 20/08/2013 17:33

I do think that people should be held legally responsible

Agreed. Since there are usually several onlookers recording at once, their videos would incriminate each other, surely?

FrigginRexManningDay · 20/08/2013 17:40

She is sedated in hospital Sad .

zatyaballerina · 20/08/2013 18:12

That's awful FrigginSad, poor girl and her family, I really hope those cunts who posted and shared it around social media get their comeuppance for inflicting this suffering, it's so unnecessary and cruelAngry

Mintyy · 20/08/2013 18:15

"I do think that people should be held legally responsible for posting images/videos that degrade, humiliate, distress, abuse others. Public bullying should not be tolerated."

Couldn't agree more.

CorrineFoxworth · 20/08/2013 18:26

Christ, the poor girl. It isn't just social media is it? She is behaved how our culture tells young women that "empowered" women should behave and is now being crucified for it.

ARealDame · 20/08/2013 18:35

She is behaved how our culture tells young women that "empowered" women should behave and is now being crucified for it

Yes I agree, very sad for the girl, simply appalling.

FourGates · 20/08/2013 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whoopdewhoop · 20/08/2013 18:50

How awful that it is only the girl who gets ridiculed, called a tramp, vilified. What about him?? He also took part in a public sexual act. He was hardly an innocent victim. But no, he's a 'legend'. It is sickening.

FourGates · 20/08/2013 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whoopdewhoop · 20/08/2013 18:59

And had it been the other way round, with him going down on her, she STILL would have been the slut and he the hero. ARGH.

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