to have another baby now for practical reasons?

[CuteFeet]

I have 3 kids aged 9,5 and 14 months. I would like one more child and recently got my period back after having dd whichwas a shock as it took up to 3 years with the others because of bf hence my childrens age gaps. Naturally it's made me wonder about dc4. I'm currently completing training for my much longed for career but had planned not to begin it til all dc are at school. Wibu to try for/have dc4 now for practicality reasons (ie because I'll get to be home with them now but not if I waited, because it wouldn't affect my career etc) Dh works long hours so everything falls to me really including this decision as ultimately it's me who has to cope. In an ideal world I'd have more quality time with dc3 first before dc4 but practically I think it could be now or never. AIBU?

It has to be a joint decision when and if to have another child and are you sure that a career that you are completing the training for now will still be waiting for you in 5/6 years time?

Yes, it's something thats better to wait to start than start and be interrupted.

How old are you? How long will your training take?

I'd echo Casmama - can you afford to wait 5/6 years to get into this career?

Given your recent thread regarding your partner and your living circumstances, then yes, I would say YABU.

Can you afford it?

I'll be trained by 28. Still have all the baby stuff from dc3 and I breastfeed so not much more to cause expense

Based on just this post, I don't understand why this is an AIBU question? You and DP want dc4, sooner the better, then do it. Unless I'm missing something? Another reply refers to another post?

I have just read your other thread and think that your relationship is not stable enough to have another child. No one says you have to have 4 children.

Based on the Op, fine,go ahead, so what. Based on previous posting, Id have to say youd be quite mad to have another one. You dont even live together.

Given your age and the fact you've got 3 already, I would get your training done and get into work before having another. You've got plenty of time.

'I'll be trained by 28. Still have all the baby stuff from dc3 and I breastfeed so not much more to cause expense'

You do realise a baby becomes a young child and then a teenager and then an adult? Each time adding more and more expense. 4 mouths to feed home isn't cheap. Have you considered the finances on a more long term setting? Your posts sound pretty naive tbh.

Unless your situation has drastically improved from your thread earlier this month, ie your partner now lives in your house and contributes financially or you moved closer to where he works, I think a fourth child would be madness.

On the other hand if you're happy for him to live sometimes close to his work, or at his Mother's house or sponges off of you by staying at your house although he contributes nothing because of debts, then go for it and good luck.

It does sound sensible to have a 4th baby now given your current circumstances.

Haven't looked up your previous posts though, so unsure what other posters are referring to but would your dp be 100% on board with the idea? Also since he works long hours would you be able to manage 4 children mostly on your own? If yes to these, then go for it :)

You're the poster whose partner lives with mummy? YABVU to have any more kids with this man

Just checked your other post and i would suggest you wait until your family is more stable and settled. 3 children is plenty to care for in your current circumstances. You getting fully trained and working would help with this a lot.

You are young and there is nothing stopping you from having a baby in 10 years time and taking maternity leave from your career.

Is your training still going to be relevant in 6 years? I can't think of many careers where it would be.

I don't usually stalk OPs but your other thread was fresh in my mind and you are being very disingenuous posting this question. If you other post is even half true, you are being extremely unreasonable even considering another baby at this point.

Your children need and deserve a financially stable home life. They need parents who are committed to them. They need routine.

Your other thread suggests they do not get any of these things.

Can you explain what you mean by "for practical reasons" OP?

What are your reasons for wanting another child?

You are still young, and I thinkit would be better to wait; at least until DP can afford to move in with you and make any sort of ontribrutiin to famil life.

Start your career ASAP. Maternity breaks can be managed in anything. Get yourself established, think about a baby then.

What practical reason? Do you think your partner will finally move in with you and play happy families if you have another baby? It didn't work out that way last time.

He can't support the children you have, you resent him til much to support him and you don't even live together.

I'm sorry to be so rude but I find it absolutely absurd that you're even considering to bring another child into this ridiculous arrangement,

I wouldn't think having another child would be a great idea given what you said previously about your dp not doing much for the kids and not being there full time. It sounds to me as if you have alot on your plate already.

Is this because your ex and his girlfriend are having a baby?

You sound horribly immature about this, and it's a really REALLY bad idea.

I remember your other thread. YA Definitely BU! Don't have another child with this man till you're settled as a family. There's no rush - or stability at the moment. Do you just like the drama?