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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that one of the most disturbing visions ever...

39 replies

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 18/08/2013 21:25

...is that of your own mother removing the wrapping from a cucumber? It just makes me want to remove my own eyeballs.

OP posts:
SucksAtRelationships · 18/08/2013 21:26

hahahahahaha :o dirty minded OP

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/08/2013 21:27

Ugh. No i do think YABU. What IS a disturbing vision is walking upstairs in your parents house, to go to the loo, glancing into the parents bedroom to see a vibrator on their bed. My eyes!!!

ClartyCarol · 18/08/2013 21:28

Grin it is the most suggestive kitchen based activities there is.

Tee2072 · 18/08/2013 21:29
Grin
MalcolmTuckersMum · 18/08/2013 21:29

Malcolm Tucker's WHAT????

Shock Hmm Hmm Shock

SirChenjin · 18/08/2013 21:30

No, it's my memory of sitting at the kitchen table when I was 15 with my (incredibly lovely but totally naive) mother asking me what a 69 was.

There isn't enough bleach in the world to remove that from my brain.

ClartyCarol · 18/08/2013 21:32

Grrr, it is one of the most. ..

Wtf with the vibrator?! Did your parents ever realise you'd clocked it? I kept cringing inwardly when my OAP mother kept telling me her views on Fifty Shades of Shite which she was reading at the time, however a sex toy on full display takes the biscuit.

Ilovegeorgeclooney · 18/08/2013 21:35

Oh no it is my lovely, sadly deceased, MIL asking me to explain what oral sex is because she heard about it but thought it was talking dirty. She was in her 50's I was in my 20's.

Original poster
MalcolmTuckersMistress · 18/08/2013 21:35

Holy shit...it's the MIL! I bey you have LOADS of cucumbers?

Nottalotta oh that is something...you have my deepest sympathies...I can't imagine how much bleach that would take to wash your brain!

OP posts:
RubyGoat · 18/08/2013 21:36

Haha. This may out me but a friend of mine said when they stayed at their parents for the weekend, they got home after a night out to find a used condom in the sink. Seriously. Shock And yes, it had been put there by the parents. I have met them and they seemed very middle class naice people. It just goes to show you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/08/2013 21:40

Oh. Well at least i was adult by then. Thank god. Not made any better when i told my sister who blithely informed me that DstDad had asked her to buy it for them.... Shock !!!!

Another VERY unfortunate occurance was taking mum and (now) MIL to see Black Swan. One sitting either side of me. would rathr stick pins in my eyes than go through that again

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/08/2013 21:42

I don't know if they knew i'd seen it. Bizarrely my mum asked to borrow 50 shades of shite after i told her how shite it was. She returned the books after a week saying she didn't like them......either she really didn't, or she read the lot in record time!

TidyDancer · 18/08/2013 21:43

It's not a vision, but my MIL (who I love dearly) getting drunk one Christmas and trying to discuss anal sex with me. She had trapped me in my BIL's childhood bedroom. I had to phone DP to come and rescue me as she had propped herself up against the door!

She remembered everything and was utterly mortified in the morning. Grin

RhondaJean · 18/08/2013 21:44

At least they were being safe Lego!

samithesausage · 18/08/2013 21:51

I remember being 14 and seeing condoms on my mum and dad's bed. Utterly horrified I said "you left something on your bed dad"... He replied "huh? What do you mean". I ended up spluttering "something personal... Get rid of it!"

Wolfiefan · 18/08/2013 21:53

Haha! Recently had to have a word after my retired mum referred to Psy song as "gangbang style"!

bittenipples · 18/08/2013 21:56

Found my mums tampons once when I was about 7 up, I thought they were cigars. Grin

bittenipples · 18/08/2013 21:57

7up??? 7 years old . .

ClartyCarol · 18/08/2013 22:15

My friend had to sit with her DH and his aged and very prim and proper parents watching the film Secretary, featuring explicit scenes of S&M and other shenanigans. Friend said they were rigid with mortification and suppressed hysteria and couldn't move to suggest turning it off. Every so often her MIL could be heard muttering the likes of Oh I say!, Dear me!! and Well I never!!! under her breath.

One of those kill me now moments.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 18/08/2013 22:21

No, what's bad is coming into your mum's room and finding a complete stranger being given a blow job by her. I was 6 and he was one of many ifyswim, but the door was slightly ajar and I couldn't sleep.

Brain bleach isn't enough. A brain transplant was probably more suitable.

Pimpf · 18/08/2013 22:26

Wow, I though nearly catching my mum giving my dad a blow job was bad enough but to actually catch them at it!

Binkyridesagain · 18/08/2013 22:26

My DM bought a doggy pearl necklace for her little pooch, which led to lots of giggling between my Dsis and I. Finally DM and My step father couldn't stand the in joke any longer and asked what was so funny.

My Dsis at 18 years of age had to explain to her parents what a pearl necklace was, 3 years later she still hasn't recovered.

MakeGlutenFreeHay · 18/08/2013 22:27

That's a shocker, magickey. Mine's not as bad, the standard condoms-in-the-drawer discovery. The problem is, I've never been able to trust them since as I am one of 7 and my father was happy to stop at 2.... So either my mother is very persuasive (eek!) or there were at least 5 failures....

BOF · 18/08/2013 22:29

Did she roll it down with her teeth? Grin

BOF · 18/08/2013 22:35

MagicKey- that is so inappropriate as to be verging on abusive. Are you ok?

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