To be getting really fed up of my MIL's interference

[arabesque]

She seems to think that because she only lives ten minutes away she can just pop in to see them every week, only giving us a couple of day's notice that she'd 'like to come over and see the children for a few minutes if that's ok?'.
She's also suggested several times that me and DH should go out for a meal and she will babysit - as if I'd agree to a mad idea like that.
Last year, when I had DC3, I arrived home from hospital to discover that she'd hoovered the house and left a casserole and a shepherd's pie in the fridge. I felt totally invaded and just burst into tears.

AIBU to consider sending her an email explaining that they're our children and really have nothing whatsoever to do with her; and that if I need a babysitter I will, of course, be asking my own mother and not some random paternal grandmother?

[Arabesque]

OP back. My MIL is getting worse. It was DS1's birthday yesterday and she asked if she could drop around with a present. I said no she couldn't because we were planning a nice family day. So then she asked if she could leave it in the day before his birthday and I again said no my parents and sisters were coming over for a little party with cake and a bouncy castle. So then she asked if she could just drop his present on the doorstep this morning and sneak back into her car without bothering us. So I just exploded and told her to fuck off and leave us alone and stop pestering the DC.
FIL and SIL have now both been on the phone to DH saying I am selfish, unwelcoming and treat MIL like dirt. God knows what lies she's been telling them .

[HaveIGotPoosForYou]

Oh to the good old reverse AIBUs.

Your DIL sounds like an idiot.

But then, you already knew that I am sure!

[Arabesque]

No HaveIgot I am totally genuine. I mean, this is the woman who complained a while back that the dc wouldn't know what she looked like they see so little of her. So I said I would put a photograph of her in the sitting room, but no, that wasn't enough apparently......

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

"If my mum empties MY dishwasher ONE more time while she's looking after MY kids when I'm at work or brings me ANOTHER home made pie, I'm gonna knock her over the head with a frying pan angry"

[Flibbertyjibbet]

Over the years I seem to have trained my mil perfectly.

they dropped in on sunday for the first time in 6 months, having given us 3 days notice. They only stayed an hour as they were delivering one set of other grandchildren home, who had been staying with them for a full week, and then picking up the other set of grandchildren who are going stay with them for 2 weeks until school restarts.

thank god our children have never ever been invited to stay at their grandparents, I just don't know HOW sil and bil and their spouses put up with this constant KIDNAPPING that goes on every school holiday and half term. And when their other grandchildren stay, mil insists on buying them clothes!!! Taking them for days out!!! To the cinema!!! McDonalds!!! I mean, if she carried on like that with my kids she would get a telling right off for interfering in what they wear and what their little eyes and stomachs are exposed to!!!

And they live at the seaside too, how awful for sil and bil to have their children taken away to a place full of seagull shit several times a year. Thank god she is respectful of our boundaries and lets our children stay in the safety and comfort of their own home 365 days a year.

[HaveIGotPoosForYou]

Yeah that sounds a bit much.

If she doesn't see them for a week, she'll be forgotten not from lack of trying

[Viviennemary]

Well I sympathise. I expect you like to make your own casseroles to make sure only organic veg from Waitrose are used if you have run out of your own homegrown ones. And of course sterilised gloves when handling your baby and a face mask for germs. Some people have no consideration for others.

[twistedtoffee]

My MIL is always causing trouble.

She has a holiday home in Cornwall and she texted DH last week saying 'why don't you all come down here for a holiday'. I assumed she was giving us the house to ourselves so you can imagine my dismay when we arrived and she opened the door with a big smile on her face.

I decided I was not going to give her the satisfaction of a row so I just marched straight past her and up to our bedroom where I unpacked my stuff making sure to slam the wardrobe door at regular intervals. When she asked what I would like for dinner I just shrugged my shoulders and when she put some fish fingers on the grill for the dc I just said politely but coolly, 'actually they don't eat processed stuff like that. I'll make them some scrambled eggs'. By about nine o'clock she obviously realised that she was behaving like a spoilt brat and gave a big martyred sigh and said she would book into a local B&B.

The following morning we went down to the beach and would you believe it, there she was sitting in a deck chair soaking up the sun. Well, I just marched straight up to her and said would she mind leaving as myself and my family were planning to spend the day there. She just gathered up her stuff and left without so much as a goodbye or a wave to the dc. Cow!

She's kept out of our way since then but, to be honest, I'm just not enjoying this holiday. DH is behaving most oddly. He doesn't want to come on any outings saying he's 'too embarassed to show his face'. I hope he's not becoming agoraphobic.

And the locals are very odd. When I walk in anywhere they stop talking, shoot me filthy looks, and turn their backs on me. Very rude! I can only assume that MIL has upset them all and they're taking it out on me. Typical of the bloody woman. She can't go anywhere without causing trouble and bad feeling