She seems to think that because she only lives ten minutes away she can just pop in to see them every week, only giving us a couple of day's notice that she'd 'like to come over and see the children for a few minutes if that's ok?'.
She's also suggested several times that me and DH should go out for a meal and she will babysit - as if I'd agree to a mad idea like that.
Last year, when I had DC3, I arrived home from hospital to discover that she'd hoovered the house and left a casserole and a shepherd's pie in the fridge. I felt totally invaded and just burst into tears.
AIBU to consider sending her an email explaining that they're our children and really have nothing whatsoever to do with her; and that if I need a babysitter I will, of course, be asking my own mother and not some random paternal grandmother?
AIBU?
To be getting really fed up of my MIL's interference
arabesque · 18/08/2013 17:20
My MIL is always causing trouble.
She has a holiday home in Cornwall and she texted DH last week saying 'why don't you all come down here for a holiday'. I assumed she was giving us the house to ourselves so you can imagine my dismay when we arrived and she opened the door with a big smile on her face.
I decided I was not going to give her the satisfaction of a row so I just marched straight past her and up to our bedroom where I unpacked my stuff making sure to slam the wardrobe door at regular intervals. When she asked what I would like for dinner I just shrugged my shoulders and when she put some fish fingers on the grill for the dc I just said politely but coolly, 'actually they don't eat processed stuff like that. I'll make them some scrambled eggs'. By about nine o'clock she obviously realised that she was behaving like a spoilt brat and gave a big martyred sigh and said she would book into a local B&B.
The following morning we went down to the beach and would you believe it, there she was sitting in a deck chair soaking up the sun. Well, I just marched straight up to her and said would she mind leaving as myself and my family were planning to spend the day there. She just gathered up her stuff and left without so much as a goodbye or a wave to the dc. Cow!
She's kept out of our way since then but, to be honest, I'm just not enjoying this holiday. DH is behaving most oddly. He doesn't want to come on any outings saying he's 'too embarassed to show his face'. I hope he's not becoming agoraphobic.
And the locals are very odd. When I walk in anywhere they stop talking, shoot me filthy looks, and turn their backs on me. Very rude! I can only assume that MIL has upset them all and they're taking it out on me. Typical of the bloody woman. She can't go anywhere without causing trouble and bad feeling 
"If my mum empties MY dishwasher ONE more time while she's looking after MY kids when I'm at work or brings me ANOTHER home made pie, I'm gonna knock her over the head with a frying pan angry"
No HaveIgot I am totally genuine. I mean, this is the woman who complained a while back that the dc wouldn't know what she looked like they see so little of her. So I said I would put a photograph of her in the sitting room, but no, that wasn't enough apparently...... 
OP back. My MIL is getting worse. It was DS1's birthday yesterday and she asked if she could drop around with a present. I said no she couldn't because we were planning a nice family day. So then she asked if she could leave it in the day before his birthday and I again said no my parents and sisters were coming over for a little party with cake and a bouncy castle. So then she asked if she could just drop his present on the doorstep this morning and sneak back into her car without bothering us. So I just exploded and told her to fuck off and leave us alone and stop pestering the DC.
FIL and SIL have now both been on the phone to DH saying I am selfish, unwelcoming and treat MIL like dirt. God knows what lies she's been telling them .
Twisted, I just can't BELIEVE your MIL didn't probate herself before she died. Utterly, shockingly selfish. You poor thing. Here, have some 
.
Oh you can have mine op. She is sooo thoughtful. She tells everyone at birthdays/Christmas not to get anyone elses kids anything because they have so much already and they won't appreciate it anyway, and that we're embarrassing ourselves because they don't do things like that in her family. And you don't get anything for the grow ups, no not even if they have cancer, because she sent flowers to them from all of us. And it's disgusting them asking for money for charity - you don't ask for money.
She's so good with dd too. When dd had that phase where she bawled her eyes out about visiting Nana, and I (shit stirring of course 
) said well you don't have to go, she shot right back 'Yes I do. Mummy doesn't want me', and she was only 2.
Bless. Lovely MIL going to such lengths just so I can have some relaxing downtime. Ain't she sweeeeeet?
My PIL have offered to buy our long awaited DC the pram/pushchair. And this after she quietly took me aside and asked how I was. Of course that was a veiled allusion to knowing how long we've been trying and remembering my mc. And being all empathetic because she had 13 mcs before my DH arrived. I mean.... Does she think I want her lovely quiet support and marmalade ? Marmalade ? It's not like its the best in the world and bump loves it. Christ on a bike she's just too fucking thoughtful and nice.
I'm just girding my loins for a visit to theirs this weekend where I know my FIL will insist on ensuring I have the best and comfiest sun lounger and make sure my favourite hot sauce is on the table for lunch AND breakfast.
AND to add insult to all these bloody injuries my MIL will make her delicious home made sausage rolls and chocolate cake just for me.
Fuck me I need a lie down now I've had to think about the indignities I'll have to suffer this weekend.
I'll need you all to be here for me. 
TIA
If my mum empties MY dishwasher ONE more time while she's looking after MY kids when I'm at work or brings me ANOTHER home made pie, I'm gonna knock her over the head with a frying pan
Don't get me started on the ironing.....
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