DD (PFB and first GC) is 5 mo.
Before DD was born we didn't see much of IL's, we lived with them briefly when my own DM kicked us out years ago (a whole other thread or 10) but otherwise only at family gatherings or when I have dog-sitted for them etc. Everything was pretty civilised, I've always thought IL's were a bit weird but I'm sure they thought the same of me.
Obviously since DD has been born we have seen a lot more of them and I have come to the conclusion MIL is a bitch.
I struggled with PND, probably not helped by the fact alone with a baby post EMCS with no support from my own family. MIL turned up on my first day back from the hospital, at 9pm demanding tea and letting us know that she would not be having DD at all to lend a hand as she had "raised her kids". Fair enough, but I never asked or even mentioned it.
That was just the start. Since then it seems she has made a point of shouting at me, disagreeing with me and putting me down every time she visits.
Examples such as taking the piss out of me for being "sucked into advertising" because DD has a carseat. Butting into my conversations with SIL to shout at me that I'm wrong (according to her cheating isn't a bad thing and it's perfectly fine to trick your partner into having a baby), basically it seems like she would argue that black is white. She looked in my cupboards and called me a gannet!
I don't know if anyone remembers my previous thread under a different nickname (Dandelion) about the Santander bank account, can't be bothered to explain it but that looms over my head too.
It all came to a head about a month ago when we visited DH's great aunt with DD. PIL's turned up, I expressed an opinion about some faddy diet and MIL let rip at me. She was shouting so loud it upset DD, and then she had to shout louder to be heard over DD's screams instead of stopping. We left, obviously. I told Dh that was the final straw and that I would not put DD or myself in her line of fire again, he agreed.
Now obviously a month has passed, MIL text DH saying that they've been keeping their distance as they've upset us. But we were disrespectful and they weren't the bad guys. She doesn't see an issue in anything she does. They text again asking if we were still angry because they want to come round and see us ( condescending IMO).
DH wants me to just forgive & forget because they miss DD, I've told him that he and DD are free to continue seeing them but I won't. I don't see why I should sacrifice my own mental well being for his parents when I won't even do it for my own.
DH says it puts him in an awful position and it's not fair. AIBU?
Sorry for the essay!