Is the gender window narrowing or something? Disconcerted...

[SolidGoldBrass]

Three times last week I got addressed as Sir by shop assistants. Last night, walking home through the town centre, some yobs yelled 'Oi, tranny!' at me. I find this a bit unsettling.

I am average height, moderately chubby and while my hair is short, it has in fact grown quite a bit since I had it shaved a couple of months ago. I had much, much shorter hair when DS was a baby and I didn't get shouted at or anything then. I do wear cast offs from my dad and brother ie jackets and shirts, and sometimes I wear men's shoes because I have big feet and men's shoes tend to be cheaper. But I don't have any actual gender ishoos. I don't want a willy. AiBU to find it a little bit unsettling that people seem to want to react a bit negatively to me because I don't look sufficiently 'girly'?

The oi tranny thing is our of order.

If you have shaved hair and wear men's clothes then the sir thing is a hazard associated with dressing like a man.

Out of order

I don't even think my clothes look particularly like 'men's' clothes, though. Last night I was wearing my dad's raincoat, and the jackets and shirts seem to me to be fairly neutral.

I don't look girly really. No one ever thinks I'm a man.

Maybe stop wearing your dad's raincoat?

My DH is 6'4", 15 stone, has long frizzy hair, and a big overgrown beard. The other day he served a customer, then a couple of minutes later overheard the customer saying to another member of staff he was helped by "that lady over there".
Lol. Maybe he should work for a circus as the bearded lady.

If you want people to know you're a female you should wear something pink at all times. It'll soon be mandatory uniform for women to wear pink and men to wear blue and of your gender is undecided or in transition you must only wear varying shades of puke colours.. Judging by the standards of most children's clothing sections

I get called sir a lot, short hair no make up, men's coat.it doesn't bother me, I do look like a bloke doesn't stop me being a woman underneath.

thora that still wouldn't work. My baby daughter who I dress in girly pink clothes still gets referred to as he, and people still ask if she's a boy or a girl.

I was in a services a few months ago with my shoulder length curly hair loose, wearing mascara and lipgloss, pink cardi, pencil skirt and heels (latter two not visible by server) and as he was rummaging in the till he said "how can I help you sir?" I assume all he caught in the corner of his eye was someone about 6ft2 and assumed male, and he did have the grace to apologise when he properly looked at me.
Thing is, if you are not especially curvy, or wear baggy clothes that disguise shape (as in, could be female curvy or male chubby) and have a male/androgynous hair cut, I can see why people may get confused. As others have said tho - the "Oi tranny", totally out of order.

I think the shop assistants were probably just tired/inattentive but the shouting probably came from the kind of slime-balls who feel it is their job to intimidate women to 'keep them in their place' - that type just shout whatever offensive thing happens to come to mind.

Fuck em.

You dress how you want. You clearly threaten them as you don't fall into their 'all girls are tarts & fair game' category.

Saying that, how much did it upset you? Are you OK.

As Tee who btw is not inconsiderable of boobage herself can testify to, I have long hair, sizeable boobage & do look like a 'girl' woman, I prefer but I have been asked in a gay bar if I was a tranny. Personally took it as a complement given the gorgeous men dressed way more fabulously than me.

Frankly some people are just dicks and therefore will shout out the first inane insult that comes into their heads. As for the shop assistants not sure since I've never been addressed as Miss or Madame never mind Sir

Twice last week, over the phone, I was mistaken for a man. I don't think I have a particularly deep voice.

A shop assistant called by short haired dd in a pink dress 'him'. When I said 'her' she tried to argue with me that 'he has short hair' ffs. Forty years ago my brother was called 'her' for having shoulder length hair. Times haven't changed .

I think shop assistants don't really see people just shapes so your hair threw her a bit .

The 'tranny' comment suggests there are wankers in your area. We all have them - draw a line and move on.

My DP has a long ponytail and a rather nice bum, which he likes to put into tight jeans. He has been mistaken for a lady a few times, much to my amusement!

My favourite one was when he did a spit (disgusting, I know) and a man behind him berated him for it not being ladylike. Got a shock when he turned round

Mistakes do happen if people don't look properly.
Knowing, and calling you a tranny though is fucking disgusting even if you DID have gender issues. I've known a couple of ladies who have become men, and I wouldn't dream of using that word to describe them either. It's a horrible thing to say.

when you say the gender window SGB, what do you mean by that exactly?

There's this one till worker in my supermarket, who always ALWAYS calls me Sir. I don't look like a man. At all. Apart from having short hair.

I have short hair and often wear boys clothes but I'm a shortarse and clearly not a teenager so I'm probably suitably feminine. People think ds1 is a girl sometimes despite his boys clothes and hair because he is 'so pretty'

Someone yelling at you in the street is out of order no matter what. But if three people within the space of one week have accidentally mistaken you for a man and you are going about wearing men's clothes, then you probably do look quite masculine. But if you are happy with how you look, then it's a non issue.

I have no idea what you are on about with the gender window narrowing thing.

Was at the natural history museum and the most beautiful blond haired girl served me, until she spoke and saw her adams apple bobbing up and down!

I thought the idea was no gender?

So no sexism.

If the gender window is narrowing, it can only be a good thing. A gender neutral mode of addres would be excellent. Why do we need to categorise by gender to sell someone a lotto ticket, for example?

Oh I'm not really traumatized or anything - what was on my mind was: is it becoming unacceptable to do or wear anything that isn't the obvious extreme of your gender? Ie women must wear skirts and heels and make-up and men must have short hair, otherwise they are fair game for abuse?