Is the gender window narrowing or something? Disconcerted...

[SolidGoldBrass]

Three times last week I got addressed as Sir by shop assistants. Last night, walking home through the town centre, some yobs yelled 'Oi, tranny!' at me. I find this a bit unsettling.

I am average height, moderately chubby and while my hair is short, it has in fact grown quite a bit since I had it shaved a couple of months ago. I had much, much shorter hair when DS was a baby and I didn't get shouted at or anything then. I do wear cast offs from my dad and brother ie jackets and shirts, and sometimes I wear men's shoes because I have big feet and men's shoes tend to be cheaper. But I don't have any actual gender ishoos. I don't want a willy. AiBU to find it a little bit unsettling that people seem to want to react a bit negatively to me because I don't look sufficiently 'girly'?

No, I think its totally the opposite, the lines are blurrier thsn ever and people get more easily confused.

I don't wear skirts, heels and sometimes make-up but I don't get called names or referred to as a man. But then I don't wear men's clothes.

If you wear men's clothes, short hair and no make-up, are you actually trying to look like a man?

Why would you mind being called 'sir' by shop assistants though? They are being polite. If you dont like it, then the obvious solution would be to wear clothes that are not designed specifically for men. Or buy clothes that give you 'the look' that you want other people to react to. why do you view it as negative? I once heard a little boy with his mother refer to me as 'that boy' when I was out running. I found it quite amusing but didn't lose any sleep over it.

The yobs are just idiots. People get called all sorts of things by yobs. Ive also had a man shout at me 'get a haircut!'

Short hair - very short hair - is absolutely in fashion now.

The cover of the magazines are featuring beautiful women with peroxide blond crops.

If your complexion can handle it you don't need make up.

Most men's clothes are androgynous. There is so much pink in the men's section at the moment.

I think you've just been unlucky. Shop assistants not concentrating. Yobs being yobs.

Don't give it another thought.

I've kept my crop haircut so long it's finally come back into fashion :)

I dont think most mens clothing is androgenous though, especially suit type jackets. Its cut for broader shoulders and a flat chest surely? There is a way of wearing mens tailored clothing and looking very feminine, but I suspect that wearing your dads and brothers cast offs is a difficult way to do that.

People who yell things from cars are always arseholes and always wrong.

I was loudly, across several lanes of traffic, told I was a "MILF" while struggling along with my daughter's pram about two weeks after my crash c-section, with an infected wound, lochia, streaming everything and tears pouring down my cheeks. I did have enough of a sense of humour to think, "Er, no, you really wouldn't."

I was also told, again from a car window as I sat on my bike at the lights, that I would always be mistaken for a "bull dyke" unless I wore makeup. I was 13 and on my way to school in a blazer and kilt and my raunchiest thoughts at that point were still wondering if oral sex meant kissing someone on the lips or on the neck (bless).

OP, you doubtless still look like a woman, if that point is bothering you even remotely. The fuckwit had his dazzling bit of wit all ready to go and was driving along looking for the first woman he saw with short hair, no doubt about it.

I wear fairly 'masculine' stuff sometimes...rigger boots and jeans and so on. But having long hair I think makes most people aware that I'm female.

I remember the days of living at home and borrowing my Dad's jumpers, jeans and shoes from time to time

It was really nice. I only remember wearing one thing of my Mum's and that was her wedding dress, which was kind of a purpley Indian print summer dress.

I also used to love wearing my Granny's old dresses from the 1940s I suppose. I had one I wore till it literally fell to pieces.

Keep on keeping on, SGB

Kim: That's a very good point. Feel a bit silly now.