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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to never wear heels so I'm not freak-lady at work

71 replies

TheGirlWithTheFeatherTattoo · 17/08/2013 22:16

I'm fairly tall, not huge, standing at 5 foot 9. I've always been the short one in my family (my mum is 6 foot) and I never thought much of it.

But now I've become increasingly aware of being tall and feel unable to wear heels - particularly at work - because they make me considerably taller than everyone else. Including the men which makes me feel silly.

AIBU the veto heels completely?

OP posts:

GiveItYourBestShot · 17/08/2013 22:40

I'm sure there's some research that says tall people do better in salaries and promotion.....wear them if you want to :)

ExitPursuedByABear · 17/08/2013 22:41

Yeh fuck off Argy. What an attitude!

Mimishimi · 17/08/2013 22:44

Wear your heels. I have a friend who is 6'1" (I am only 5'4") and she looks fantastic in heels. Obviously, for her, it's not about looking taller but she likes the way they look. I don't feel intimidated by her because I'm obviously not going to be the total glamazon that she is anyway.

Naoko · 17/08/2013 22:46

I'm actually completely aghast, and I probably shouldn't bite and go do something soothing somewhere else, but... are you actually saying that I should buy flat shoes only (which, by the way, isn't actually all that easy if you want something vaguely fashionable, everything has a sodding high heel these days) just so you won't feel uncomfortable? And if I do wear heels, I'm attention seeking? This strikes as something that's rather more your problem than mine.

ArgyMargy · 17/08/2013 22:49

OP asked; I answered.

Sheshelob · 17/08/2013 22:49

Don't bite, Naoko. Argy is being a goady toolbag. Anyone who puts that much thought into other people's footwear choices needs to get out more.

MamaChubbyLegs · 17/08/2013 22:51

Argy please tell me that was poorly conveyed humour

Ain't nothing wrong with being amazonian. I'm 5'8" and wear my heels with pride. If that puts someone out, that is their problem!

ExitPursuedByABear · 17/08/2013 22:51

Or stay in.

thornrose · 17/08/2013 22:54

Complex or attention seeking behaviour? Or just wanting to wear gorgeous shoes that happen to make them even taller?

Your post smacks of attention seeking tbh

PersonalClown · 17/08/2013 23:39

Attention seeking??

God forbid I like a fabulous pair of shoes. Should I stay in my Converse so that it doesn't 'bother' other people?

littlebillie · 18/08/2013 00:01

I am tall and always wear a heel at work. There is enough crap in the world to worry about and height it is something you have to live with it is not a life style choice. As long as you can walk in them go for it!!! Take no notice of the hobbits they are just jealous.

HoneyDragon · 18/08/2013 00:06

My friend is very tall and wears fabulous heels. I am very short and wear flats. We are both content with our choice of footwear.

You wear what you damn well please.

ilovebabytv · 18/08/2013 00:18

Im 5'9 and wear heels all the time. It does make me taller than dp/most people but its not my fault hes a short arse and heels make my legs look better :D

ouryve · 18/08/2013 00:19

Why the hell should you feel like heels as an obligation, anyway?

MrsKoala · 18/08/2013 05:34

I'm 5'10" and i wear heels when i go out. But i don't usually to work. I really hate towering above everyone in that situation (when i'm out i like being tall but work just feels wrong). I am also really broad shouldered so am taller and broader than all the men in my office, and even tho i am very curvy (hourglass shape and very long legs) i just feel really butch.

I have 'jokingly' been asked if i'm a man in drag before and called the incredible hulk. Some people really hate it and i've had men get quite aggro with me. People make comments about me being 'a big girl' etc despite the fact i'm only a 12-14. I've also been told people 'remember me as fat' - everytime they see me they look astonished and say 'you've lost loads of weight' and i point out i haven't, they really insist i must have because last time they saw me i was soooo much bigger. They then do this the next time too. I asked a couple of them why they think i am much fatter than i am, and they say it's because i'm so tall and broad that their mind just remembers me as big all over.

I absolutely hate pictures of me in comparison to smaller people i look so freakishly massive. One friend is 5'4 and her sister is 4'11, we all went out once and pics were taken, and oh my god, i look like a giant. Big hands, big arms, just big all over. Photos of me and DH otoh look normal, as he's 6'2 and really broad. So as a couple we match. When we went to Milan last year the natives gasped when we passed them I don't think we saw a man over 5'6!

MrsHoarder · 18/08/2013 05:43

I'm 5 11.5 and generally don't wear heels in a work context since the time I met a long-term collaborator and practically had to bend in half to shake his hand.

They slow me down and hurt my feet anyway.

raisah · 18/08/2013 05:44

I wish I was your height. I am 5'2 and heels make my feet ache so can't wear them. I wore a pair to a wedding once and spent the whole evening petrified of tripping over that I didn't enjoy myself.
:-(

singaporeswing · 18/08/2013 05:51

I'm 5'9, size 10-12 and work in Asia. My female colleagues are all 5' - 5'2 and size 4-6. I feel huge constantly.

I then come home and DP is 6'2 rugby player and all seems normal again

nooka · 18/08/2013 05:55

I'm 5'10" and don't consider myself to be very tall, but I would say one of the advantages of being tall is that I have never felt the need to wear heels. I hate heels, they make me feel really tottery and I don't like the weird things they do to my posture and stride. It can be difficult to buy nice shoes without heels though, so I can understand you feeling limited in your choices, especially if you like the way they look.

If you are 5'9" surely you can wear at least 3" heels without feeling that you are towering over the men? I tend to feel pretty average compared with most men I know, and just to think a lot of women are really quite small .

Possibly I only feel this way because dh is 6'5" and my children are either my height or very near to it. dd is 5'9" and loves to wear heels especially to be taller (she has fantastic posture and body confidence though, which I hope lasts through her teens as I was very self conscious).

Catsize · 18/08/2013 06:02

I never wear heels. Can't understand why people do, or why they want to damage themselves in uncomfy footwear, but if want to OP, then you go for it! I am 6'. But wouldn't wear heels if I were 5'. Ouch.

Whisper6 · 18/08/2013 06:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AKissIsNotAContract · 18/08/2013 06:35

I'm 6ft and can't wear heels. I would if I could, it's so difficult to find nice flats.

chickensaladagain · 18/08/2013 06:40

I'm 6 ft and wear heels

I'm also a size 10 and went through most of high school in men's shoes as ladies just weren't available

If I want to wear pretty, feminine shoes -why shouldn't I?

You get a few men with short man syndrome who make the odd comment but no one else at work seems to care

Happiestinwellybobs · 18/08/2013 06:46

I am 5' 8" and always used to wear heels at my old company however got out of the habit at my new place. Just recently I've started wearing skyscraper heels...just because... and must get about 5-10 comments a day from people about how tall I am.

I take it in good humour. But it's like the comments like, "aren't you skinny". Well no, I'm not skinny and I would never comment about how short someone was or their size. It's funny isn't it??

Anyway I like the feeling of being tall. Heels make me feel a bit more dressed up after chasing round after DD in my flats. I say go for it.

CoTananat · 18/08/2013 06:51

MrsKoala, me too. I don't wear heels. I look like a drag queen in heels/lipstick/long hair. I've got such broad shoulders my torso is practically triangular: 18 across the shoulders and 8 on the waist. On my first day at secondary school the headteacher looked me up and down and said, 'Heavens! And we don't have a girls rugby team!'

People also used to congratulate me on my weight loss, until I changed the cut of my clothes in general. My neighbour stopped me in the street once and exclaimed that I'd lost SO much weight how HAD I done it. I protested that I had not lost any weight and he shook his head and said, No! You were a BIG GIRL. I figured out later that he had moved in that winter so had only seen me in my duffle coat until then.

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