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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go and find this child's house?

29 replies

FloweryOwl · 17/08/2013 15:05

Earlier I was walking through a street a couple of streets away from mine on my way home. In front there was 3 kids stood talking, two girls and a boy. The girls were about 10 and the boy was probably about 7.
Anyway as I got nearer to them I heard the boy say in a jokey way 'she's been having sex with her boyfriend!' to one of the girls about the other girl. They all started laughing. But then as I got a bit past them I heard the girl that he was talking about say 'you're not supposed to tell anyone that! ' and then she started laughing as well.

I don't know what to make of it and now it's playing on my mind. I don't know if they were just being silly and thought it was a funny thing to say. But what she said has stuck with me and now I'm thinking well if it's true then I need to say something. It's quite a small estate so it would be easy enough to find her house.

What should I do?

OP posts:
FriendlyElephant · 17/08/2013 15:08

I would just assume he was joking. At around that age a great deal of humour seems to revolve around sex, it doesn't necessarily mean anything sinister. If it worries you I suppose you could speak to her parents, but you might be told to keep your nose out, or get the girl into trouble.

Original poster
FloweryOwl · 17/08/2013 15:20

Yes that's what I was worried about. I don't want to get her into trouble for a daft joke.

OP posts:
littlewhitebag · 17/08/2013 16:17

It is probably nothing. Kids say things like that as they know it gets a reaction. They probably have no idea what sex is. Or they have some idea and think it makes them 'big' talking about it.

KissMeHardy · 17/08/2013 16:18

Oh dear God - really OP? You really think you should do something?

Original poster
FloweryOwl · 17/08/2013 16:20

Well I didn't know. It was just the way she said 'you're not supposed to tell people that' in a whispery way. It was just odd and didn't sit right with me. I know all about keeping these sort of secrets so it just worried me. But point taken, I'll take it as kids messing around.

OP posts:
thebody · 17/08/2013 16:23

they saw you coming op.

Faezy · 17/08/2013 16:23

Unfortunately I wouldn't be surprised if she was being serious. I had friends at school who were sexually active at a very young age. Don't know what you should do though.

thebody · 17/08/2013 16:26

really at 7 and 10???

Faezy · 17/08/2013 16:28

We don't know how old the "boyfriend" is.

thebody · 17/08/2013 16:34

nonsense.

anyway even if remote possibility it was true how on Earth would any normal parent react at some stranger knocking on her door saying she had overheard their child talking about having sex. said child is 10!!

frankly I would assume stranger was mad.

mynameisslimshady · 17/08/2013 16:39

I agree thebody if some complete stranger hunted my house down, turned up, and informed me my 10yo was having sex because they overheard a 7yo saying it then I don't know what I would do, probably stand there in disbelief then tell them to fuck off, but I certainly wouldn't be thanking them for it.

Original poster
FloweryOwl · 17/08/2013 16:44

I know what you're saying thebody. I'd think I was a mad woman too, it was just the way she said it. I can't explain it, it was as of she was embarrassed but thought it was funny at the same time. I don't know. don't think it was a case of they saw me coming because they paid me no attention at all. I think I'm just gonna keep out. I don't know the kids or their families. I've only spoken to the boy once before when I told him to get off of the top of my shed and he told me to piss off Hah. Maybe he thought talking about sex was funny I guess.

OP posts:
Faezy · 17/08/2013 16:45

A lot of my friends lost their virginity around 13 and had done other things before but yes 10 is extremely young. I hope it isn't true but it definitely isn't impossible. Agreed that turning up at someone's house to tell them that wouldn't be received very well but the parents might then keep a closer eye? I wouldn't do it personally.

Original poster
FloweryOwl · 17/08/2013 16:52

I was having a regular sexual relationship with a much older family member from being 9 years old. At the time I thought it was normal and loving until I got a bit older and then became frightened of him. I grassed him up when I was 14. But looking back now I'd of loved someone to of overheard me talking about it to my best friend. That's why things like this stick with me, but I suppose I can't be child abuse vigilante.

OP posts:
IneedAyoniNickname · 17/08/2013 16:56

It could be something that needs looking into, it could be a joke, or it could be a mis-used word.

For example,
When by step-brother was a similar age, he went into the kitchen to find his dad, then ran back into the lounge and told my mum that his dad and sister were having sex! She rushed out there to find that he was giving her a hug as she was upset, and that dsb actually had no idea what sex was.
We laugh about it now!

Bumblebee333 · 17/08/2013 17:01

What you have been through is terrible. You could possibly be projecting your own history onto this situation though. I would be creeped out by it but I dont think you should say anything. Might be worth making a note of it and keeping an eye out for anything else.

kinkyfuckery · 17/08/2013 17:04

FloweryOwl you were not having a sexual relationship at 9.... you were being abused.

izzydazzling · 17/08/2013 17:06

A friend of my child claimed to know all about sex but when I quizzed my son it turns out he thought kissing was sex. I'd assume they didn't know what sex actually was or they were talking bravado.

phantomnamechanger · 17/08/2013 17:08

sadly some children are very sexually aware at a young age due to the TV and film and other stuff they have been exposed to in the home

I have heard 7&8 year olds playing "kiss chase" yelling "next time you catch her give her a good shagging" and yes they knew exactly what it meant!

sick, but I do fear there is nothing that you can do.

Original poster
FloweryOwl · 17/08/2013 17:10

Yeah I know that now Kinky, I just meant from my 9 year olds point of view I thought it was a grown up relationship. And I hate the thought of children thinking it's normal because they've been told it is.

I probably am projecting myself into this.

I hope it was just bravado or kids being silly.

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 17/08/2013 17:13

Ah ok, as long as you know now you did nothing wrong.

Its hopefully just kids 'having fun'. Keep an ear open for anything else, but at this stage I'd guess it was just innocent.

treas · 17/08/2013 17:27

In all probability the were "talking big" i.e. cluelessly talking about "grownup" subjects thinking it would make them appear more mature to the others in the group.

littlemog · 17/08/2013 17:33

As a teacher we sometimes used to get primary aged pupils transferring up to us who were considered to be 'sexually active' with other children around their own age.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 17/08/2013 17:48

A wee while ago at work I came across a a 13 year old girl who'd been having sex with boys of a similar age for about 18 months. Its sad but its not unheard of.
In your case OP it might be just that they're talking like big people but it may be that they're not and you have the opportunity to protect a vulnerable child. I think the best way to approach this would be to speak to the girl's school. Rather than just give her hell like her parents might they'll have procedures in place to make sure she's properly protected.

Onesleeptillwembley · 17/08/2013 17:55

When mine were 7 and, indeed, 10, I'd want to know about that. But yes, it probably would look mad to the parents.

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