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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to kill the fucking, selfish bastard ??!

59 replies

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 17/08/2013 02:53

He's lying there, flat on his back with his lips flapping in the breeze making a noise like a stuck pig.

I have poked, yanked, tugged, elbowed and shouted. He shuts up for a few seconds then rolls back into position and starts again.

I'm so bloody tired I feel sick.

I actually hate him right now Angry

OP posts:
dimsum123 · 17/08/2013 06:23

Seperate rooms. We sleep in seperate rooms and it wasthe best thing we ever did.

grumpyoldbat · 17/08/2013 07:01

I know how you feel. I'm sitting on the sofa struggling to stay awake now because the bastard also woke dd2.

on top of his snoring he also was tossing and turning so even when I start to drift off from exhaustion he'd kick or push me out of bed.

CoolaSchmoola · 17/08/2013 07:05

Totally - according to Roald Dahl's autobiography the grated soap in the mouth results in a spectacular display of clawing, flailing arms and choking...

OP, please try it lol!

daisychain01 · 17/08/2013 07:12

Bogey I hold you entirely responsible for making me wet the bed with a serious fit of the giggles.

And I will read your post to DP (when he wakes up, don't want to make him move, he isn't snoring ATM)

froubylou · 17/08/2013 07:15

File 1little toe nail to a very pointy, stabby point. When snoring gets too loud stab the bastard in the leg.

It doesn't stop the snoring but makes me feel slightly better when he jumps a mile, and then sits bolt upright.

For some reason little toe nails are really sharp and stabby. Twice I've had him looking in the bed for what has stabbed him.

Fleshy bit of calf really sensitive btw.

daisychain01 · 17/08/2013 07:16

OP my sympathies! Has your DH/DP tried a pillow wedge? They do stop snoring and sleep apnea. Worth the investment!

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat · 17/08/2013 07:21

Did the flapping snorey bastards collude to make last night especially bad?

DH woke me and DS when he came to bed and proceeded to flappy snore immediately while I then had to resettle DS. As I was so tired I just about managed to get back to sleep. He then gets up for a pee at about 3am, waking DS (and therefore me) at the same time.

DS decides that as he is awake he wants a really long bf so I have to stay awake while the snoring happens again. DH did not respond to the normal kicks, so I became more irritated and when DS finally went back to sleep I could only manage a seething doze. Gave up at 6 as DS was woken again at 5.30 and would not resettle due to the snoring.

The sitting room ceiling is vibrating with the snores from the room above, spoiling my cuppa. Grrr.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 18/08/2013 01:05

I still hate him btw, tonight he's not only a snoring gibbon, he's pissed too.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 18/08/2013 01:10

Oh god! Even worse snoring then.

My ex was a really bad snorer. Dp just snuffles and puts up with my more ladylike snoring. Edge him over until he falls out of bed and then starfish.

BMW6 · 18/08/2013 01:10

I'm going into the spare room with the dog...............

CorrineFoxworth · 18/08/2013 01:11

When DS was four and had still never slept through the night due to being autistic and expecting BM I moved into his bed and DH had him. Hairy boring Daddy broke the habit thankfully but I swear, I have never felt so pampered sleep-wise in my life. I didn't even drink alcohol for those months because it was so easy to get to sleep and really resented having to go back to shrinking.

CorrineFoxworth · 18/08/2013 01:13

Not shrinking - sharing Hmm

PosyNarker · 18/08/2013 01:13

Ah that's different. Does he snore sober? I don't 't when well but I do if I overdo the wine so tend to take it on the chin if DP comments. That said, I gather I'm 'funny' rather than 'I can't possibly sleep because there's a tractor revving in the room'. I wouldn't be laughing about that at all tbh if a regular thing - separate rooms or sort snoring!

Bogeyface · 18/08/2013 01:14

File 1little toe nail to a very pointy, stabby point. When snoring gets too loud stab the bastard in the leg.

Happy to make you laugh but I am bowing to the master on this one! Its always there, easy to maintain and there is no way you can be accused of anything! All I need to do now is work out the yoga position that will get a sharpened toe nail to the bollocks........

Bogeyface · 18/08/2013 01:16

Being serious for a second (only one , I promise!) drinking is selfish if he is already a snorer. Is he overweight? H snored far more when he put weight on after his redundancy than he did before.

I think you should video him, including you poking, pushing, shouting etc at him!

FatimaLovesBread · 18/08/2013 01:19

Oh god I sympathise. DH is a right snory bastard!

Tonight though he is out with mates, I should be making the most of the snore free bed and getting some sleep. I am however awake wondering what time he'll be home, how pissed he'll be and when DD will wake for her feed.

No doubt he'll roll in pissed, wake DD up then pass out snoring and ill be awake all night Angry

Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 18/08/2013 01:20

He's a little overweight, not massive but could lose a stone I'd say, he snores drunk or sober, worse if he's had a drink or is very tired.

Last night he was tired, tonight he's pissed Hmm

I hate him, killing him may be the only answer.

Twat.

OP posts:
5madthings · 18/08/2013 01:23

yanbu snoring drives me mental. i have sent dp to the gp he snores so badly. they gave him a nasal spray which has done fuck all so he needs to go back.

my dp is away for a week at the moment!!! yay Grin so i have the bed to myself well apart from the toddler but she doesnt snore so thats ok. tho she does grind her teeth sometimes which makes me want to vomit

StuntGirl · 18/08/2013 01:27

Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture so I feel for you :(

Separate rooms or he can go on the sofa. I would seriously present those as options to him!

Catsize · 18/08/2013 05:55

If any consolation, I am now awake at a B&B and have been for ages thanks to the couple next door and their 'activities'. Can I have a snoring husband please? This is supposed to be a night of child-free sleep!

Tittypulumpcious · 18/08/2013 06:05

Grin Bogeyface..I've just woken my snore pig up laughing, tried my hardest to silence my snorts..honest

BigBoobiedBertha · 18/08/2013 06:13

Separate rooms here too due to 'D'H's snoring. He doesn't do the flappy lip thing though. I don't know how the bugger does it but he makes the most horrendous noise without even opening his gob.

We were on hols last week so we had to share and one particularly sleepless night, after poking, prodding, loud sighs and many requests, I actually tried to copy his snoring because I couldn't work out how he made the noise come from his throat without opening his mouth. I couldn't do it. I had to do all sorts of facial contortions to make the same horrendous rumble he manages. Apparently, I woke him up with my 'snoring' though and I had no right to have a go at him. Angry

Death is too good for 'em. Sellotape their eyelids open and make them listen to a recording of themselves for the entire night. They might get what all the fuss is about!

eltsihT · 18/08/2013 07:24

Wow sounds like we have the same problem, I have almost trained my hubby when we first stared dating er... More than a decade ago I would kick him in the shins and say DH stop snoring. He did at one point wonder why he had bruised shins, now I just say his name and he stops,unless he has had a drink, when I pinch his nose, then he wakes up and I can get to sleep before he starts again... Good luck!

FriskyHenderson · 18/08/2013 08:18

Gorilla tape over the mouth?
Could you fashion some sort of nasal rinse? Invest in a can of Sterimar.

headlesslambrini · 18/08/2013 08:33

I love the idea of a pin in the bollocks.

Can I recommend quilting pins as they are longer than normal pins, so you should be able to get them in a bit further Grin

I have to admit that I do worry about those couples who sleep apart because of snoring and how they will get on with the bedroom tax. I can see more pressure on A&E with numerous men turning with bleeding bollocks.

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