To think not taking your children to the doctors ever is a red flag?

[Chattymummyhere]

Yes there is more story to this however my main question is above..

A friend down my street has come to me and asked me about a certain other house, because anther one of my friends children always plays with title mentioned children.

Her and her sister (both live down my street) have noticed that no matter how sick this mans children are he never ever takes them to the doctors. One of them is his next door and they chat and he has admitted he never takes them.

Now two of his four children have suffered from really bad toncilitus to losing their voices etc and he still did not take them to the doctors (admitted by himself) and all four of his children still toilet in bed (again admitted by himself) the four children living at home are aged between 4-10 there is another who lives with grandparents, yet none of these 4 children have been to the doctors about their toilet issue or illness.

I know I said there is more however I would like to see firstly Aibu in thinking this is strange and is a red flag towards how these children are being looked after?

Mother does not live wih them nor see them

I can add more if it would help however.

The doctor thing wouldn't overly concern me. The rest of the stuff would worry me silly and I would consider calling the NSPCC for their advice.

Nah, you're probably right periodfeatures, I'm just being narky . I should go to bed.

As posted I will call them in the morning...

Thank you to those who have taken this seriously I've only been notified of this since yesterday so only had yesterday and today to try and fit it together and work out what exactly needs to be done/said to the right people.

I hope that SS take it seriously and do at least go and have a look and make sure things are ok as said I hope it's all made up.

I know I take my children to the doctors if poorly and would not let them out on the street that late but others can be different and that does not automatically make them a bad parent, but the extra info has made me worried enough to start my own thread which is not something I do lightly due to the fact I know the flaming people can get on here for not having a very high and very reconisable posting history.

Have read OP's posts again and can't see anything that stands out as being inappropriate here. Just children living in what would appear to be long-term neglect (at face value) and neighbours talking about it between themselves and trying to decide whether they're concerns are valid and not being sure what to do about it. If they had witnessed 1 incident such as a child being hit, i am certain someone would have made a call.

Sorry. OP, if you come back to this thread, just be clear with SS about how you came to call them. There is no problem saying that you have been talking with neighbours and then list your concerns clearly one by one. Dates and times of things help.

Yes, you are completely correct in thinking the Doctor issue is a red flag. Some kids are genuinely healthy and don't need to see a GP but a child who has not been registered with a GP or taken to the doctor with tonsillitis would be a concern.

DD2 didn't go to the GPs for 11 years (from 5 months old until she had earache from an evil virus last winter).

She is just never gets anything that isn't, clearly a normal winter bug.

(She has, however, had 2 GA and lots of hospital appointments due to breaking both her arms, it's just the GP she avoids).

Making the call to SS will cost you nothing and put your mind at rest.

Not seeing the doctor is not necessarily a red flag- I have two teenagers who have seen a doctor at the most 5 between them ( a combinations of robust good health and my watchful waiting approach).

However, practically everything else yo have said is a bloody big red banner. Why on earth did you pick on the doctor thing?

Sounds like a poor, single man who does not know how to cope with a lot of kids????

Why not help him out instead of curtain twitching???

Common we have tried to help, his been given clothes for the kids, we have put up a washing line for him so he can dry their clothes, offered to help him clean up, always encourage our kids to be nice and friendly to his and encourage play, talk to the kids when we see them in the street, let them into our houses and feed them if they are here at dinner times/snack times.

We still however make sure there are rules that our kids won't be up late just because his are out and want to play but if we see them out at a stupid time when we are in our gardens watch and make sure they are safe and ask if their dad knows they are out and if they are allowed to be out at such times, if we spot a child out who is not known to be out at certain times we text/Facebook each other to make parents aware that their child is in such and such place and we all help look when a child who is supposed to be in for 8 is still out gone that time. We have been trying to work together to make our street a safer happier place for all that live down here, we have had to clean up things we wish where not here but we do it to make the street safe and clean for the children to all play together a s get to enjoy a childhood where you can ride you bike up and down the street and call for children down the street to play, this only works because we talk to each other, and try to help each other.

You've typed many things that would concern me OP. However the GP thing wouldn't in itself unless I knew they weren't registered or were missing check Ups for chronic conditions such as asthma or diabetes.

I wouldn't necessarily take dd to the GP for tonsilitis as it's usually viral so I'll manage it with analgesia and fluids. I don't consider losing your voice a warning sign.

Yes SS should listen, not necessarily to the details in your first post but all the rest is concerning and should be reported ASAP. Make sure you tell them ALL of your concerns though. Also most effective would be for you or one of your neighbours to call the police when one of the children is out unsupervised very late at night. Rat issue could also be reported to housing/environmental health.