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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to show my daughter how to shave her legs

116 replies

gordyslovesheep · 16/08/2013 21:17

genuinely not sure here and open to AIBU wet fish and general 'being put rightness'

DD1 is 11 in Oct and has started being very self conscious about her leg hairs. She is blond but they are blond and quiet dark brown and long

she refuses to wear skirts etc and has asked me to show her how to shave them

So part of me says 'she's asked, it's bothering her, show her' and the other part says SHE'S TEN

I offered to pay for them to be waxed (less chance of severing a vein) but she wants to shave them

I'm going to have to bite the bullet aren't I?

OP posts:

TroublesomeEx · 17/08/2013 12:16

My daughter is 7 and has very hairy legs. Fortunately she's blonde so they don't really show, but she's already asked if she can have a No No to remove it

I think I would encourage waxing for any body hair she wants to remove rather than having.

I have a rather hairy friend who has said she will take her to her beautician (when she's old enough) and they can be defuzzed together. Which I think would be quite a nice idea.

Snatchoo · 17/08/2013 12:21

My mum would't let me shave my legs when I was 11 - I had already started my period before I went to secondary so I was well into puberty.

When I think about it, mum wouldn't let me do a lot of things and told me off as well as I was deemed 'too young'. I saved some pennies and bought some Immac and did my legs - mum went mad. Don't recall if I told her I was being teased at school because of it

She wouldn't let me use tampons as I was too young.

When she found out I lost my virginity (I was nearly 17 and with a boyfriend) she went mental, I was too immature and couldn't handle it. It's only looking back I see how weird she was about it.

Snatchoo · 17/08/2013 12:22

Out of interest, why would you recommend waxing over shaving? It's more expensive and hurts - a lot!

Silkymitts worked on my legs but by the next day I had a horrible horrible rash.

mrsjay · 17/08/2013 12:23

I used a silkymit on my top lip it had a rash for a week

MarshaBrady · 17/08/2013 12:26

I'd show her and buy a decent razor and foaming gel. I remember those orange bic ones. Much easier now.

I wouldn't do waxing due to the pain. I can't be bothered with pain-inducing hair removal anymore.

bunchamunchycrunchycarrots · 17/08/2013 12:29

This thread is depressing.

LaFataTurchina · 17/08/2013 12:29

If you're worried about her cutting herself, how about letting her use veet? That's what my mum did as I she knew I was clumsy and bound to constantly cut myself.

I've got sensitive skin but it didn't bring it up in a rash or anything. Waxing (whether by a beautician or at home) always does with me though.

Or, if you let her shave definetly get her her own razors, sharing razors is worse/more germier than sharing a toothbrush imo.

diddl · 17/08/2013 12:47

I agree that it's odd that shaving needs explaining!

But maybe OPs daughter doesn't see it happening, so wouldn't know ti use foam/gel with a razor?

diddl · 17/08/2013 12:52

"Can't understand why anyone would shave legs."

Because it's quick, easy, cheap & there's no smell?

Original poster

gordyslovesheep · 17/08/2013 13:45

Thanks for al the constructive input - she has just done her legs with a (very cheap - thanks Asda) electric razor - no drama - she didn't want cream I did discuss it.

So she is happy and that is what counts

I have no idea why this thread is 'depressing' it was her informed choice

OP posts:

kali110 · 17/08/2013 16:49

Why does everyone hate tjose orange razors? I love them

Glittermud · 17/08/2013 17:39

Is anyone going to challenge society's demands for hairless women with their daughters?

Original poster

gordyslovesheep · 17/08/2013 17:43

erm yes - but I refuse to impose that on her to the point that she is unhappy - and she isn't hairless - her legs are

if we want to throw feminist credentials around I was at Greenham - and wore lipstick

Glittermud are you going to force your girls not to shave?

OP posts:

mrsjay · 17/08/2013 17:48

Is anyone going to challenge society's demands for hairless women with their daughters?

nope never would I tell a girl or woman what she can do with her own body hair ever this girl didnt like she removed it fuck all do to with society being a young girl is hard enough without them being told it is wrong or right to remove their own body hair

mrsjay · 17/08/2013 17:49

oh and body hair is not a femminist issue

mrsjay · 17/08/2013 17:50

sorry for swearing on your thread gordy It riles me that everything that women chose to do with their bodies is some sort of issue

MrsDeVere · 17/08/2013 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catsmother · 17/08/2013 17:53

I'm glad she's happy - that's all that matters!

I know the moment's passed now somewhat but I think the reason shaving might need explaining is that some kids could well be totally ignorant of all the tips for getting a smooth, cut free result. I'll tell and what's more show my daughter how to shave round her knees and ankles for example, how not to use too much or too little gel, which direction to shave in ...... it might sound obvious but when I think back to my first attempts and how badly I cut myself I think it's better to be safe than sorry.

BuskersCat · 17/08/2013 17:55

As a feminist I agree with a woman's CHOICE to do what she wished with her own body, hair, no hair, as long as it is your choice then no other fucker should judge you. If another woman judges you for the choices you are making, can she really call herself a feminist?

Original poster

gordyslovesheep · 17/08/2013 17:58

Don't be sorry mrsJay - it made me a bit

My daughters - I have 3 - are being brought up by a feminist mother but not a dictator - we discuss issues but I wont force them to conform to any ideal - including a hairy feminist one

she's happy - that's all that matters - this! and she is

OP posts:

froubylou · 17/08/2013 18:15

Glad she is happy.

I've just had the puberty talk with my 9yo DD and for what it's worth the book I also downloaded for her, aimed at 8 to 12 yo girls also covered shaving. Legs, underarm and trimming the bikini line.

It's called 'what's happening to me' girls version and I was very impressed with the language and messages it gets across.

YoniBottsBumgina · 17/08/2013 18:30

Body hair is a feminist issue, of course it is. But your preteen daughter is not a platform for you to air your political views!

Arming her with all of the options and information that she needs is perfect. Banning her from shaving will not cause a feminist revolution in her school, it will just cause her to be laughed at. It is sad that this is the case, but being sad doesn't stop it being true! Banning shaving is just as harmful as insisting "You MUST shave or you cannot ever be attractive." IMO.

badguider · 17/08/2013 18:31

'bikini lines' were a mystery to me throughout my teenage years as my hair didn't extend beyond the edges of any bikini so I couldn't for the life of me figure out WHAT part I was "supposed" to be removing according to the magazines :)

In fact, I still don't know why it's called 'the' bikini line - when there is more than one line/edge involved...

kali110 · 17/08/2013 18:34

Im sure op has tod her daughter its ok not to shave but its her decision. If its upsetting her and she wants to have hairfree legs thats up to her. Welldone op

HarryTheHungryHippo · 17/08/2013 21:43

I'd really keep pushing her towards waxing. As someone who shaved from 11 regret bitterly not waxing as my then blonde hairs are now dark and evil

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