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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to show my daughter how to shave her legs

116 replies

gordyslovesheep · 16/08/2013 21:17

genuinely not sure here and open to AIBU wet fish and general 'being put rightness'

DD1 is 11 in Oct and has started being very self conscious about her leg hairs. She is blond but they are blond and quiet dark brown and long

she refuses to wear skirts etc and has asked me to show her how to shave them

So part of me says 'she's asked, it's bothering her, show her' and the other part says SHE'S TEN

I offered to pay for them to be waxed (less chance of severing a vein) but she wants to shave them

I'm going to have to bite the bullet aren't I?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 16/08/2013 22:41

I wouldn't wish waxing on my worst enemy!

And I've never felt hurt from stubble

Each to their own though, obviously.

littlewhitebag · 16/08/2013 22:56

Not waxing!! I would rather birth another baby than ever attempt to have my legs waxed again. The agony.

I showed my DD. We sat in the garden on a sunny day with a basin of water, foam burst shower wash and a nice new razor she had chosen. I did mine with my razor and she copied me. She has never cut herself shaving.

BrokenSunglasses · 16/08/2013 23:12

She should try waxing, but she has enough years of hairy legs ahead of her that she will be likely to do both waxing and shaving at some point in her life. Just let her learn the way she wants to epilate in her own time.

It's only leg hair FFS.

diddl · 17/08/2013 08:49

She's a little girl-only nearly 11.

I don't see why shaving isn't good enough.

Surely "salon style" can wait until she's older?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/08/2013 08:50

Yes show her..and show me as well.i still hack my legs up!

My mum made me bleach mine at 11..so I had long blonde hairs on my legs..wasn't the ideal solution.

mrsjay · 17/08/2013 09:54

god dont get her legs waxed it hurts id wait till she is older te girl just wants her hair off what is salon style anyway Confused shaving does the same job none of my dds have ever wanted legs waxed and their legs are fine after shaving,

mrsjay · 17/08/2013 09:56

I got dd1 a lady shaver when she was about 12 she didnt like it said it made her itchy ,

OHforDUCKScake · 17/08/2013 10:05

At that age I wouldnt be showing her the razor but using removal cream.

My mum gave me this round white pad that you rub over your legs, its really gentle and exfoliates the hairs clean off. Id never seen it before and havent seen it since but its super super gentle, effective and inexpensive.

I have no idea what it was called though, I'll see if I can find it via the Oracle.

OHforDUCKScake · 17/08/2013 10:08

That was easy good old Google.

My mum wouldnt allow me to shave my legs when I was 12, my hairs were blond but would glint in the sun which I hated. So I got the typical orange bic razor and did it dry. I had no idea they had to be wet, nor use any kind of foam or soap at least. It was not good.

diddl · 17/08/2013 10:42

I just meant that waxing perhaps gives a better, smoother look?

But perhaps for a young girl that isn't necessary-just getting the hair off as painlessly easily as possible at this point is good enough?

cocolepew · 17/08/2013 10:57

I started to use cream on DD when she was 8/9. She will now shave them in the shower (she's11 now) using the razor with the block of soap around it. I can never remember what it's called Hmm

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 17/08/2013 10:57

yes do it, get a decent razor though. there are several that come with lubricated strips which are good. my fave is the big chunky one intuition, I can use in the bath or shower as its got its own softening block attached but yes gel shave or conditioner and a two or 3 bladed razor would be fine. good luck... your baby is growing up Grin

DameDeepRedBetty · 17/08/2013 11:07

We had a lovely girly session in the bathroom with a bottle of Veet when dtd1 (who is brunette) was 11. When she was more confident she moved onto shaving. Dtd2, who is blonde, had a similar session about six months later.

All three of us manage perfectly well with poundshop disposable razors, now that we know what we're doing.

nokidshere · 17/08/2013 11:16

Thankfully I have sons who are quite happy with their hairy legs Grin but most of my friends with 10-13 year old girls use hair removing creams for their daughters - wouldn't that be the easiest option at this age?

seensomuch · 17/08/2013 11:17

please advise her ,my knowall dd just asked for a razor ,didnt want a discussion , loads of blood soaked tissue and a rash later , she asked for a bit of advice :)

cushtie335 · 17/08/2013 11:17

My DD asked me to wax her legs when she was about 13 as they were starting to bother her. We got the Veet wax strips and did it at home. They do a great job and the results last for absolutely ages. She has never had to shave her legs.

coralanne · 17/08/2013 11:19

Can't understand why anyone would shave legs.

I use Nair shower power. Rub it into the legs, wait ten minutes and shower off. There is heaps of different brands out there. Very soft and gentle with no odour.

My DS gets me to do his back and shoulders with it as well so it won't hurt when the tape is taken off after Rugby

coralanne · 17/08/2013 11:25

"ARE" heaps of brands

cupofteaplease · 17/08/2013 11:27

My dd1 is 8 and last night for the first time asked to have the hairs on her legs shaved off. I told her not yet because hair on little girls' legs is very normal, but she has very dark, thick leg hair so I guess at around 10 would agree to show her how to shave it. I think I was 11 when I was given a Ladyshave

YoniBottsBumgina · 17/08/2013 11:30

Silkymits are vv good- my friends all used them as teens. I think they work better on dark hair though, I'm fair and just found they took the dead skin off but left the hair!

I would show her if she wants to know - also discuss different options! She might seem young but if she is starting to get hair, and starting to get self conscious, then she's old enough.

BlueStones · 17/08/2013 11:39

Do people get "shown" how to shave legs? Isn't it self-explanatory? I can't remember being shown anything like this, and I survived!

But sure, nothing wrong with a ten-year-old girl shaving her legs, in my view.

Reality · 17/08/2013 11:48

DD is 9 and I bought her a razor after she borrowed mine.

She is dark and hairy like me and I don't want her to go through the cringing embarrassment I did at school.

No drama, no fuss.

kali110 · 17/08/2013 11:49

I think wax and epilating are great options. Hurt first time but after that dont even notice the pain. I tried those silky mits and thought they were useless! Didnt remove any hair. Id she wants to be hair free discuss all options, if she wants to shave then show her. She may be young but if its bothering her then better to show her.

kali110 · 17/08/2013 11:50

Btw i have dark hair and the silky mits were useless

catsmother · 17/08/2013 12:11

Whatever method she decides upon the important thing is that you acknowledge her concern, don't try to play it down, and, if necessary show her what to do (if required).

It's making my blood boil to read so many stories of mums who let their daughters flounder in a mix of self-consciousness and ineptitude, as I experienced similar from my mum and still feel angry at the years of awkwardness I felt during PE because my mum declared I was "too young for all that". FFS - I was 9, and had underarm hair which I was mortified about. I probably wouldn't have been had my mum's attitude been different but it was clear she felt "growing up" was something to be hidden away and never discussed. God knows why. When she eventually capitulated and "agreed" to letting me shave she presented me with an old fashioned metal razor which you had to unscrew and fit with a flat razor blade ..... you can imagine the results! No suggestion or offer of gel, I was just told to use soap. Okay - we're talking 70s here but it wasn't quite the Dark Ages and I could see with my own eyes in the chemist that there were other options available - but at 9, 10, 11, had no way of getting them for myself.

I'd personally (and I can see this coming up with my own daughter in a year or so) discuss all the options with her, make it into a bit of a girly afternoon perhaps - before deciding what she wants to do. I agree that waxing would be my preferred suggestion but I can appreciate it might seem daunting to a child who still whinges at plasters being ripped off (my daughter). Would also second the idea of an electric shaver - there are so many different varieties these days and it's quick, painless and no risk of cuts. I've always reacted badly to hair removal cream - they don't seem to work on my (yeti) hair - it just breaks halfway Confused and usually gives me a rash to boot, even sensitive versions, so would be reluctant to suggest those to my daughter but I wouldn't actually stop her if she wanted to try so long as she was very careful as I think it's so vital not to introduce any concept of "forbiddeness" (is that even a word?) as regards what a girl wants to do about her own body. I have so many hang-ups because my mum made me feel somehow that having hair was shameful - yet didn't nothing constructive to help me with it - either practically or emotionally.