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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to be able to enjoy time off at home

32 replies

laura2323 · 16/08/2013 16:50

I have been off work since February due to severe morning sickness. I was a self employed taxi driver and it was unsafe for me to continue, then insurance company (who i also rented car off so they had to be told situation) said was unsafe for me to continue to work whilst pregnant so have been unemployed since then. But that's another story.

The reason why I'm posting today is i am getting seriously fed up with my next door neighbour, he is a gay man aged about 50s. I have lived in this house (my fiancé's house) for 5 years now, it is a semi detached, and since then the NDN has had about 5 different partners. And with each new partner has gutted and redecorated the house. Every day is drilling, banging, shouting etc. I cannot hang washing out on the line as it gets covered in dust, nor open the windows for the same reason. I also cannot sit outside while they work as they are using strong smelling solvents (pregnant and asthmatic! not a good combination) I have spoken to them about it before in the past as I was in university so needed to study at home. This fell on deaf ears and I kept asking them to give me at least 1 or 2 hrs a day peace. Nothing.

I've complained to the council about then but as our houses are our own and not rented the council seem very reluctant to get involved. They are making noise constantly from 8am-10pm on the dot. I have kept log books and have recordings of the noises. I also have photographs of the building work being done.

Another thing is they have 2 small dogs, I don't know what breed they are, but they are constantly yapping away. They never take them for walks. They leave them outside in the rain at night, leaving them to bark all the time. I can't see any shelter for them in the garden at all or food/water bowls.
I rang the RSPCA about an injured stray cat that had been sheltering in my garden and the officers witnessed the building work ad heard the dogs yapping. They have had words with the NDN but it is getting worse.

He does not work, one of them is registered disabled but I do not know why, he is up ladders and does the majority of the work. Everyday there are vans in the road delivering and collecting parcels.

I am just worried for when the baby comes that I will not be able to cope. I have suffered with depression in the past and am seeing a mental health team. (health visitor has also logged a complaint about NDN and the noise).
I am at my wits end and do not know what to do.

Does anyone have any advice on who I can turn to to complain further as I have all the evidence? I keep getting told the council as it is an environmental issue (noise pollution), but as I said above they will not get involved. I do not want to go to the police unless absolutely necessary. I have also dropped hints about noise to others in our road and they have not seemed to have noticed/cared, as their houses do not join onto NDNs. Complaints have been put in about the dogs though.

Sorry for the essay! TIA xx

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 16/08/2013 17:00

Would he be just as much of a nuisance if he were heterosexual?

Pinkpinot · 16/08/2013 17:02

Is it relevant that he's gay?

ilovesooty · 16/08/2013 17:03

And you do realise that not all disabilities affect whether you can climb a ladder?

laura2323 · 16/08/2013 17:05

No it makes no difference at all. Im sorry if it came across like that. Realised I missed out that It was when his wife moved out that's when the problems started.

OP posts:
laura2323 · 16/08/2013 17:07

I know not every disability is visible. He has a disabled parking bay outside the house for his sole use (his badge number only) so surely his disability is physical.

OP posts:
Pinkpinot · 16/08/2013 17:09

Why don't you talk to them and ask when they expect to be finished? Maybe you would be a bit less anxious then. This sounds like its taking over your life.
Presumably it's not going to go on forever
The baby will take your mind off it, don't worry

Harryhairypig · 16/08/2013 17:09

It's statutory nuisance, the council environmental health dept can deal with t, complain to councillor if they won't get involved.

kinkyfuckery · 16/08/2013 17:09

I think your dislike of your neighbour is clouding your judgement.

Maybe you should move house?

NoComet · 16/08/2013 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

laura2323 · 16/08/2013 17:16

I have tried to talk to them about the noise. He said he wasn't making any noise, despite answering door with a drill in hand! I do not dislike my neighbour as a person, he is lovely, we have been to BBQs and met up in the pub etc. I have even offered to walk his dogs for him (thinking it will get me out of house too).

OP posts:
laura2323 · 16/08/2013 17:17

Thank u harryhairypig I will try them, if no joy I will write to my MP

OP posts:
Pinkpinot · 16/08/2013 17:17

The pious twats might just be offended because the gay and disabled references made it sound like op had a problem with it

Op, I'd start again if I were you, take out the gay and disabled references

Boosiehs · 16/08/2013 17:20

Environmental health about the nose. Also look at council website. Mst will say ht work can only go on between say 8 and 6 in residential areas.

FattyMcButterPants · 16/08/2013 17:37

Annoying thought it might be, they are within their rights. You're effectively asking them to do you a favour. Have you done anything to earn this?

Giving a little often results in receiving a little (or a lot), I find.

NoComet · 17/08/2013 00:42

Good heavens MNHQ you are having a quiet night if that was worth deleting.

I only suggested there was a bit of over zealous politically correct point scoring, I was neither homophobic or disabilist, nor would I be.

I just thought a couple of posters were unnecessarily jumping down the OPs throat.

It really gets my goat that some posters only come into threads to be smug and self-righteous.

RenterNomad · 17/08/2013 08:43

If he's been decorating constantly for 5 years, surely he'll run out of money eventually? What a horrible way to live, for all of you (even for the NDNs, which is crazy given it's all up to them).
The solvents are a terrible addition to the noise nuisance.

Get the police/your MP in, ith evidence tht the council have been refusing to do their duty.

Ihatepeas · 17/08/2013 10:10

There are noise restrictions in built up areas between 6pm and 8am if this noise is going on until 10 every night you should certainly complain to the council.
I feel your pain op we have work going on next door to us.. It's extreemally frustrating!

Edendance · 17/08/2013 11:53

Well said Star, it's ridiculous when the only thing some people have to add to a post is to pull the op up on a word or phrase they used, it's pathetic. Sometimes other things are relevant and you'd definitely say them face to face- it does no harm to give as much info about the situation as possible, even if it might not seem that relevant. It certainly doesn't mean the op is homophobic, get a grip.

RenterNomad · 17/08/2013 12:04

I agree: laura has probabably obssessed over every detail of the people whose noise and smells are intruding on every waking moment. Anything which could explain/not explain what they are doing will have been extensively dwelt upon, to a degree whuch looks crazy or prejudiced to us outsiders

RenterNomad · 17/08/2013 12:07

P.S. I was thinking of the disabled partner when I wrote that - just guessing about the content of the deleted post.

ilovesooty · 17/08/2013 13:37

I never said the OP was homophobic. I just didn't see the sexuality of the neighbour as relevant. The comment about his disability is the sort many have taken issue with on this site.

I think it sounds as though she has a lot of time to monitor this neighbour and his life and activities. No one else appears to regard it with the same intensity and I think her perspective may be affected by being at home on her own all day.

OP if you're on friendly terms could you and your fiancé invite neighbour and partner over to discuss it over a drink or have things gone too far for that?

NoComet · 17/08/2013 13:50

My deleted post was utterly innocent apart from calling the two nitpicking/fault finding posters 'twats' which I assume MNHQ decided equalled a personal attack.

It was in no way disablist or homophobic and I was utterly gob smacked anyone felt the need to report it.

I've been way ruder and not being deleted.

NoComet · 17/08/2013 13:51

Also I'm sorry if I should have inferred something from pinks, username. I didn't read it when I first posted.

Pinkpinot · 17/08/2013 14:14

I didn't complain!
But if someone said that in real life I would ask the same question, ie is it relevant?
The pink in my name refers to the rose I was drinking when I picked it, nothing else!!

NoComet · 17/08/2013 14:54

I don't know if it's relevant, I would find a home improvement mad man odd. DH has been avoiding doing anything about our kitchen for 15 years!