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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want the ground to swallow me up

64 replies

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 09:53

Am so embarrassed

Have been having a bad week. Pulled my leg last night and had to go to the docs this morning to sort it out and the receptionist was bloody horrible. I was already tearful from the crap week and very sore leg and that just set me off. Had to hide in the fucking toilet like a weepy schoolgirl who can't handle life, where I then proceeded to have a very loud panic attack that I couldn't really make any quieter. So fucking embarrassing.

Has anyone done anything equally cringey? Feel like a bit of a freak

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 16/08/2013 10:27

I really feel for you, being so young and taking care of a small child.

Do you have many local friends? What about family?

Have you looked up MN Local to find groups near you?

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 10:28

Would it be OTT to complain about the receptionist?

I'd have to go there again for future appnts and am not even sure how I'd explain it, as I was being scatty. It was just the fact she tried to practically scold me & I know I'd have been ok if that hadn't happened (well, relatively, as I wouldn't of had the bloody PA as a result).

I'm not the only one that's been that pathetic in public though, am I?

OP posts:

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 10:32

I have DM and DP. DM works very hard and is a single parent herself still, in a sense as my young-for-his-age 20 yr old brother still lives at home and she's quite busy herself as a result. She's having DS tomorrow, which she insisted on when I told her about the anxiety earlier this week, which will help!

DP has been supportive but he doesn't live with us. I have a few friends I see (also mums) but it's a bit here and there.

I usually study but as it's summer nursery is out and I'm not studying, so am finding it a tad hard & fairly lonely tbh.

Sorry if it sounds like a pity-party. I try not to feel sorry for myself usually but am having a funny few months!

OP posts:

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 10:52

DS keeps pooing as well. (He's 2.7). You think they're done and then they manage another installment

What a week!

OP posts:

Libertine73 · 16/08/2013 11:36

Oh Orchard yes, complain, you handled it really well TBH (probably doesn't feel that way) but if she's not pulled up sharpish, she could do it to someone who cant' keep it together as well as you, report the fucking insensitive bitch.

Nursery will soon be back too, and you will be back studying, the end of the hols is hard!!

And please stop saying you've been pathetic,you haven't, the BBs will kick in soon, and I hope you will feel much better x

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 12:01

She's been notoriously grumpy since I joined in 2008 but that was the worst she's ever been that I've seen, though obviously will have been like that with others.

I felt pretty pathetic having to hide in the loo til I calmed myself down tbh but it most certainly didn't feel like something I could stop happening at that point so I guess you're right. Just feels like I handled it a bit crap.

Feeling a bit better now the physical things have died down and I'm not so 'wired' at least Have found who I need to contact to make a complaint too.

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Libertine73 · 16/08/2013 12:05

Good, I had one once when I was at my Mums and me and DS both had a chest infection. we have different last names, when I told her mine, she went...Oh, not married then? In a really twatty tone, unbelievable!

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 12:11

Really? It's not the 50s!

She'd have lost her shit if she'd met me Unmarried, under 25, on benefits and with a man who isn't the father

OP posts:

quesadilla · 16/08/2013 12:22

orchard you shouldn't feel ashamed at all, the woman behaved outrageously.
But I second what someone else said about CBT for anxiety and panic attacks. I know several people whose lives have been changed by it.

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 12:26

I had CBT in the past for depression and it had a much stronger effect than ADs and lasted longer so am hoping it'll be the same for this anxiety.

It's irritating because (partly due to feeling quite depressed too) I can't think straight, or at least not straight enough to trust myself. So it's hard to tell when I'm being unreasonable/ott if that makes sense? It's knackering at the moment. If I didn't have DS today I'd be taking it easy in bed most likely. I feel like a delicate bloody flower atm

OP posts:

mignonette · 16/08/2013 12:27

Sweetheart . Please email the practice heading it to the practice manager. Write down what happened and suggest they examine the way in which people with mental health problems are treated (anxiety included in that category). There is so much discrimination and I know it may add to your burden to do this but possibly it might help you feel a little less helpless in the face of this type of behaviour?

Keep strictly to what happened and how it made you feel. Highlight how it appeared to other patients. Contact the patient advocacy service too (details of your local branch will be online)

If I had witnessed this I would have come to your aid. I can never sit by and see this kind of thing.

And good luck with the CBT.

Misspixietrix · 16/08/2013 12:29

Sorry to hear that OP. Please complain to the Practice Manager about her attitude she sounded rather unfair to you.
I've forgotten lots of stuff before, ie Letters or a sample when been pregnant.
I suspect if you had told the Doctor she would have got a ticking off from them too?
One Receptionist once got a ticking off of the Nurse when she witnessed her being rude to me.

Doctors Receptionists hate me because I give as good as I get. I once had to ring our now old Doctors on xmas eve as DD had a UTI to the point she was screaming on the Toilet. Receptionist "Is this an Emergency?" Me: "No I just rang to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Of course it bloody is!"

Hope you're feeling a little better now OP

omaoma · 16/08/2013 12:31

Ach you poor love, have a big hug and a . I wish I could come round and give them to you in person.
What a shitty receptionist. Dr could have been more supportive too, altho i suppose they might have thought ignoring you so you could calm down was helpful, but that's not much better! Can you ask around about finding a different practice that is a bit more effective at actually enabling their patients' health? My drs are so lovely, I wish everybody could go there.

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 12:31

Thanks for the advice. It wasn't very busy, so only about 4/5 people were in the room and the other receptionist was behind the glass screen.

I was obviously in pain anyway though & had been crying this morning so looked a state to start with. Would she have known about the MH issue? I wasn't sure if they can see everything or not?

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Libertine73 · 16/08/2013 12:38

exactly Orchard she may/may not have known, like all her patients,I would have thought a sympathetic personality would be part of the job,it seems lots of Drs empoly scrapyard rottweilers!

quesadilla · 16/08/2013 12:38

what mignonette said. Doctors surgeries should be very careful not to let staff behave like this, if only to avoid bad PR.
You should write to them.

mignonette · 16/08/2013 12:42

They should know enough to be sensitive with flustered, upset patients who may also be in pain. They should know that well people with no worries do not come to see doctors. They receive training in how to deal with patients who are distressed or upset. They should be aware that patients may forget documents, forget details, go blank when faced with admin.

There is no excuse for abruptness, rudeness and dismissiveness. I do not care if they are having a bad day. They should plaster a welcoming look on their face, be patient, kind and then go out back and drink gin batter their head against the wall, rant etc when it gets too much.Not that I am saying you were too much.

Sometimes when they deal with patient referrals and notes they may see private medical details. So they may be aware or they may not. either way it is on a need to know basis and they are bound by confidentiality. However a receptionist knows that people with MH issues use GP's and should therefore be sensitive to that fact.

mignonette · 16/08/2013 12:43

It takes a special kind of bitch to not feel guilty and apologise when she can see she has upset a person whether it be inadvertent or not.

Please complain. xx

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 12:45

At the least I was obviously flustered.

I shouldn't have forgotten the bill, seeing as we spoke about it half an hour before but I was having a mental morning and spent most of the half hour trying to put my bloody shoes on (it is surprisingly difficult when you can't really bend your leg)

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mignonette · 16/08/2013 12:48

Exactly and her place was not to treat you with sour attitude. You explained. That should be enough. You are not responsible for the cumulative stresses of her job. She was a cold hearted ratbag. There seems to be a lot of them sprinkled throughout GP surgeries (as well as plenty of lovely receptionists too).

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 12:51

She's the only horrid one at least. Now I feel a bit more together I'm quite angry at her, partly for the people she's probably done that to that haven't said anything and have also had their day worsened by her tactlessness

At least it's friday and DS will be with DM tomorrow and that should help recharge me a bit. I feel exhausted for some reason!

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mignonette · 16/08/2013 13:15

These events are exhausting. My advice is to write it all down then try to walk away from it. You can make a decision later as to whether you send in your complaint.

Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 15:59

DS wasn't sleeping well so I put the tiredness down to that but I'm still pretty tired now he's sleeping better & getting really panicky, even if it doesn't lead to a PA makes me feel like I've just run a race and need a blooming lie down!

Feeling fairly calm this afternoon anyway thankfully. Just tired!

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Original poster

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/08/2013 16:00

(Feel a bit like I'm wearing on people's patience atm but can't tell if I'm imagining it or not. I just want to be well)

OP posts:

Libertine73 · 16/08/2013 17:15

Hang in there Orchard you've done the hard bit, now just be kind to yourself x

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