To purchase a small cabbage at the grocers?

[Pancakeflipper]

Went to our grocers today.
I love my grocers. I go twice a week. Usually with DS2.

Saw a small white cabbage. Join your hands together and make a circle - it's just a little bigger than that.

Added this cabbage to my other goods. Thought it would be good for my self catering long weekend away with my 2 children. Thinking salad / stew. Weather dependent.

The lovely shop assistant added weighed it and put it in my bag.

Then a man stood several people behind me said in a loud voice that small cabbages were reserved for old people who live alone and I had to buy a larger cabbage.

So is there a unwritten or written rule I have missed that states what size veg you can buy depending on your position within society?

And if so can you please link me the rules so I don't fuck up in the grocers again cos it was very embarrassing for us all.

Oh shuuuuuuuuut up!!

What a load of bollocks. You can buy any size of cabbage you want.

Snort. Hilarious! You did still buy the cabbage right????

Worra... You think he's an arse don't you ? I am quite justified to buy any sized cabbage I want aren't I ?

small cabbages were reserved for old people who live alone and I had to buy a larger cabbage.

I'm not buying it (the words spoken...not the cabbage)

Please tell me that's how you interpreted what he was saying.

What were his actual words?

Yes I bought it. Though I did a mental pause as I tried to recollect the veg buying rules.

The shop assistant made big wide eyes at me as she put in the bag.

I would have bought every cabbage in the shop and then gave him that "I'm an extensive cabbage owner" look that we all do at times

Wait...we do, don't we?

Oh god that's so fucking funny!

What an utter utter twat (him not you)

How did you not laugh at him being such a ridiculous knob?! I'd have been in fits of laughter

You took the Cabbage for the Elderly

Bad PancakeFlipper.

Is this for real? Why doesn't this shit happen to me?!

I bet you helped yourself to the Butternut Squash for the Perimenopausal too.

Was it labelled as being only for the elderly customers?

Worra - my memory is shite but he said something along the lines of
"Ahem... ( Not ahem but cannot replicate his throaty noise) . Small cabbages are for those who are elderly and live alone. Families should buy larger cabbages."

You should buy the cabbage. They are lovely.

I fancied a bit of a savoy earlier, but thanks to society's strict vegetable rules, as a lone parent I was only permitted to leave with a medium sized sprout.

I'm hungry

Ha! can't believe you nicked a nana's cabbage

sounds like a euphemism

I once got bollocked by a green grocer on the high street because I stopped to buy one small onion.

He said people like me are the reason that traders like him go out of business??

I told him to fuck the fuck off and went to Tescos!

In our local greengrocers you're not allowed to buy grapes unless you can prove you are about to visit someone recovering from a minor operation in hospital. Fact.

What if they're a day patient?

Inertia - how do you prove that ???

It's very difficult to provide sufficiently rigorous proof, to be fair. Hence the low volume of grape sales.

It's a bit easier to buy apples, they are available for anyone in school uniform.

I hope you feel simply awful and that cabbage turns to ash in your mouth, the very gall of it, thinking to purchase for yourself a cabbage reserved for the old and infirm! I bet you're the sort of person who buys apples in handy single servings too! Oh lackaday!

Tears streaming down cheeks.....:)

Anyway, shouldn't old people who live alone just by a brussell sprout?

If they cut it up carefully, they could get at least 3 meals from it.

OP you really need to recommend this to them.

I guess the problem is made worse that there's no sprouts in our grocers at the moment.

But they still have pea pods in season and they are handy sizes for the elderly aren't they ?